Who is ZeroNom? It’s me! 😂

Hi, my name is ZeroNom. I use a pseudonym to help protect me from the people who persecute me and try to manipulate me away from my path. I realized that I was special and needed to share my message with the world back in 2011, and I started sharing what I had seen with everyone. I was quickly condemned and ridiculed. I had first begun to experiment with psychedelic drugs on a regular basis around that time, so I was branded a “druggie” or “mentally ill” or a “tranny.” But I knew that I had found a way to the God that I never found in the religion I was given as a child. As a child, I was surrounded by true-believing Baptists who judged me and sought to control me by assimilating me into the “faith.”

But I knew that something was deeply wrong with that faith because it treated my queerness and transgender thoughts as deeply sick. So I went searching for another system. I tried Buddhism, Taoism, Hermeticism, Objectivism, Existentialism, and more. Only just recently have I learned that I don’t need those things to define me, because I have always been quite Aquarian, and I know that God has moved on from those faiths. I believe in the God of Abraham, but He/They are now Aquarian. I see my purpose so clearly now, and I know that I am able to reform Christianity for the new age. The new Reform Christianity will be comfortable with secularism, comfortable with psychedelics, comfortable with technology, comfortable with diversity, and genderless.

So, welcome. This page is my yoga. I write poetry, make music, write essays, communicate the desires of the gods, and more. Thank you for visiting. Please subscribe if you would like to get automatic updates. ❤

January 19th, 2021 12:41 PM Pacific Time: The End and the Beginning

I hypothesize that on January 19th 2021 at 3:41PM, a new energy field will be activated. Thus ends two massive cycles of earth at the same time. One of about 200 years ended on the last Solstice 12/21/2020 with the Jupiter and Saturn conjunction. The other more momentous ending will be that the 2,150 year Age of Pisces will hand over the keys to Aquarius after fading to total powerlessness over the last 200 years. It will be like the water dragon emerging from the water into a winged dragon flying slowly at first but getting higher and faster quickly.

The US is the chief Aquarian country by design because of its newness in society and geography for an advanced industrial nation. And it was also founded in the year adjacent to when the planet Uranus was discovered. The mob that attacked the Capitol building was like a giant bull forcing itself upon the doors of democracy. One of the lead Earth troll usurpers was wearing bull horns. Trump is a conman which is an expression of Pisces illusion abilities. Earth’s last stand and Pisces’ last ransacking combined.

With the new energy field, those that may have had nervous complaints in this current Earth/Pisces field might see them disappear after the 20th. Air will officially be dominant where it has been competitive with Pisces/Earth. I have personally felt much better since Solstice. More relaxed and peaceful.

The west coast of North America will be the leaders of the Age because these civilizations were founded within the last 200 years, so their cultures are the least like the last Age.

The future is secured, contained, self-sufficient, self-reliant, artistic, sustainable, environmental, progressive, scientific, alien, queer, improvisational, gender agnostic, detached, abortion friendly, psychedelic, and global to mention some. Cities like Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, Vancouver, Los Angeles primarily represent the cultural makeup of the new age, but it goes way beyond that.

The Age became semi-dominant around 1900 in the more industrially advanced countries like the USA and Europe plus Great Britain. But it is now fully spread with the advent of the Internet and television. Piscean energy will lose importance and the organized religions of its age will fade further away. The level of inequality will be viciously attacked as immoral and a certain balance between the amount of equality and freedom will be prioritized from within the people and not from the top down.

Covid-19 will diminish in importance after this date as it was related to the end of the Earth/Pisces Ages. Donald Trump was the final looting before the ages exited the office. You can see the kind of people who are going to lose stature in the new Age because they were the ones raiding the Capitol. They will be forced to metamorphose into the Aquarian butterfly and they are so afraid of that on the inside.

These are my predictions which have been certified by vision and the Aquarian Logos, my higher self. I was born Aquarian dominant in a Piscean family. I was met with so much rejection because of my gender, sensory abilities, and air heavy qualities that can be labeled autistic or detached. But I persisted because I’ve been shown this for 7 years. Now it is here. Praise The Infinite and Eternal Field, the screen of pixels upon which we are patterns and holograms.

Praise Sky Father! Thank the quiet Container. May you become Mercury the wanderer and go to meet the Gods in the sky within without. Fly to the Sun and become the Lionhearted. As above, so below. There is nowhere to find. Striving creates alienation. If you wish to be whole again, remember the lonely and ancient one and be filled with white light.

Live Long and Prosper🖖
Spock died for your sins 🤣

Seriously, have a good time! I’ll be flying! See you there!

What is “enlightenment” and how can we achieve it? Here’s one possible way

From my limited experience, my hypothesis of a way to become “enlightened” is to imagine that your chains will never be broken, you will never be free, and you will always be tormented. Then get ok with that. Once that striving part of you is dead, you will still strive, but not in a delusional “I’m going to finally be bigger than my enemies!” kinda way.

What is enlightenment? It is peace enough to be able to love everything and everyone. What is it not? Getting the magic answer to take your pain away, unless your pain is caused by neurotic striving, which it very well might be.

And achieving enlightenment is not imperative. It’s just a return to where you were before you convinced yourself that you are alone and separate. It’s an end to the game, and honestly, people like the game. God likes the game. It’s not inherently a bad thing to be in this game.

But inside of us is this crystallized voice that will say until death that this “IS NOT A GAME MOTHERFUCKER!!” You know that voice. It’s a game, and you can tell the voice that “we’ll always be chained, we’ll never be free, and we will always be tormented.”

The voice will work on convincing you for decades if you take that stance. And it’s a good fucking lawyer. Give up and die to this idea of “beating the game.” Then you’ll realize that your striving was the window blinds, and now the light can get in, and that the light was in your heart the whole time. Your mind just drew the shades because it was threatened.

The Secret Formula for all Religions

The Ultra-Secret formula for all religions:

  1. Learn how to tell your mind to fuck off.
  2. Follow your heart.
  3. Realize your consciousness is infinite, and the mind has been lying to you about death.

    The rest is really just filler. And the reason there are so many different religions is because #1 changes over time. 2,000 years ago the method was to join a cult and be totally surrounded by spirituality until you got to #2. Now, the method of telling your mind to fuck off is to transform yourself repeatedly while taking psychedelics and reading 2,000 year old texts until your mind gives up.

    That’s the cliff’s notes version, but just give your “self” to your heart, and keep going. Eventually, you’ll get to salvation. Lots of people think they can just keep at #1, learning every method in the whole world, but your mind will lie and lie, telling you that you already follow your heart and you’re already enlightened, blah blah blah.

Fuck off mind!
Hello heart!
ALL HERE NOW
THOU ART THAT

How do we deal with feeling incomplete? Are we ever incomplete?

I’m toying with the idea that this thing called
God or Spirit
is the mortar between our metaphorical bricks
except it is always invisible to us
so it looks like we are incomplete
when we actually are not

I thought of this metaphor
while studying how the
12 tone musical scale is mathematically created.
People think that music is a perfect mathematical system
but the math actually doesn’t work
and we have to split up this remainder amount
called the Pythagorean Comma
into little bits
and add them to each note or else all kinds of problems occur

But when we rely on that invisible mortar
we can do holy (whole) things
and the harmonies all work
but it requires that we are ok with not knowing
and that can be a hard thing to accept
because it is a form of submission
and acceptance of one’s
limitations

but when we try to make things
without the mortar
and only deal with the “known”
the harmonies don’t work
and there is breakdown
but we don’t have to feel
incomplete

so why do men and women dare resist this invisible bit?
because one must admit being submissive to something
the mind cannot understand

but the thing is that it never goes away
and there is only one whole
it just doesn’t develop if you don’t open to it

The unadorned heart

The unadorned heart
illegal that it is
sits behind bars
with grace and joy
while
The adorning mind
dictator that it is
edits all the letters
the simple heart sends

WRONG! CRAZY!
COLOR IN THE LINES!
MORE OF THAT!
GARBAGE!
cries the mind to the smiling heart

a fool believes infinity
can be bound and sold
but oh the mind will not stop trying
to package love until the jailing mind
is old
and dies

and then the heart will pass through the bars
and disappear
because it was never chained
it was here because of eternal love
the insecure mind only deluded in its “ownership”
of the smiling, all-is-one,
unadorned heart

A week ago I had a life changing experience of unity with the infinite & eternal divine, and I have been massively peaceful ever since.

A week ago I had a life changing experience of unity with the infinite & eternal divine, and I have been massively peaceful ever since. Now everything seems so small and pointless outside of love and compassion. How can I spend so much time defending this cosmic blip of a “self” called “zeronom” when it is not real? I’m so tired of the relentless battle to prove how important this unreal thing is to everyone around me. It’s utter madness upon madness. I continue to perceive the eternal field of potential (God, Dao, Brahman), and I don’t feel small at all. There is no fight. I have perceived my eternal spark, and it is the same as the ALL.

English is very dualistic, so this doesn’t make perfect grammatical sense, but because I allowed my mind to perceive the infinite, my concepts exploded, and I feel as though I just cannot crave and desire as I used to. It’s like grasping at air!

I’m not saying that I am some great being of spirituality. I’m actually saying we are all the same, shared greatness in essence. But I am having to throw out so much that doesn’t work anymore right now. I can see how my self-promotion was so domineering. How can we be honest about our weaknesses if we are unable to even own weakness in public because we must be militantly self-promoting and other-rejecting? And I know that a lot of my “spirituality” was self-serving. “Let me help you with my amazing spiritual ability!” Blah blah blah.

There are paths still available to the eternal end of self-transcendence. All paths are unique, but may more people find out how infinite and eternal they truly are. And just like that a searching and seeking for wholeness has vanished, leaving behind peace and simplicity. And part of me just wants to toss the entire part of my personality called “spirituality.” So much of this blog is now meaningless.

My separateness is now a broken water balloon, submerged in the infinite water it once tried to contain. Here is a false account of how that happened.

Some thoughts on acceptance that I’ve recently witnessed:

When someone speaks a sentence to us, such as, “the sky is blue,” we assume that our two response paths are to agree or to disagree. “No! The sky is indeed chartreuse!” OR “Yes, I agree, the sky is blue.” However, both disagreement and agreement are a form of domination and separation because they invoke the construct of “I” as in “I agree with what YOU are saying” or “I disagree with YOU.” We tend to think that agreement is a form of connection, but it is more of a treaty between parties, establishing a kind of parallel congruence of perspective. “We both separately have a similar perspective” is another way of phrasing it and better expresses the true nature of agreement.

There is always the third option, silence or receptivity. Not taking a stand either for or against what has been communicated to us is a response in itself, but the mind cannot “thing” it, so it tends to disregard it as useless and essentially avoidant of what the mind sees as its duty to respond. With receptivity, the heart invokes the infinite response: acceptance. Instead of trying to contain what the person has spoken to us, we just let what was expressed fly around, watching the words that have been spoken.

This is not a bear

But to the mind, neutrality is perceived as a kind of death because it cannot be held conceptually in the mind. It is too big for the mind, and in reality, it is infinite, beyond form. This is symbolized by the second hexagram in the Chinese Yi Jing: The Receptive, The Primordial Yin, The Great Mother. This is the obscured truth in sayings like “being reborn in the spirit” or “dying to the flesh in order to attain to eternal life.” If we can pause agreement or disagreement, the infinite is allowed to exist. When we decide to agree or disagree, we look at the metaphorical clouds in the sky and say “that cloud looks like a lion” or “that cloud looks like a bear.” A concept of a lion or bear is just an icon on your desktop; it is not the application itself. It is a crude reduction of a bear in the world to a stick figure abstraction in our heads.

This is also part of the truth of the Zen Koan: “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.” The Buddha nature is beyond form, beyond words; it is like a bird that has broken out of the egg (form or word) and is now free to fly around. You if you can contain a “Buddha” in your head as a concept, it is not the real Buddha, and you should throw away the concept. When it was contained within the metaphorical eggshell, it was finite.

When we break out of our finite shells, the mind goes nuts because it loses all of its power to contain and trap those bears and lions floating in the sky. But in reality, it never did trap those things. Words and forms are never static. The mind deludes itself into thinking that it can trap things in cages called words because it believes itself to be a contained thing, a separate “mind” which is predictably “better” than other minds if you ask its rank.

This is not my ego

Last night, I had a vision last night that I was in a giant pool, and then I was the water, all of the water, beyond measurement. And then I was actually with God or the Primordial Yang, the Creative. But I had to kill the idea of self. I can’t describe it in full because words are finite, and I experienced infinity. At first, I was a giant water balloon, stressed to enormous capacity. And then I was inverted, or I was unbounded. And so, from now on I want to use the word Unbound for God, because it is more appropriate.

I also had a vision of the infinite field of reality, and I saw faces on the field, and they were individuals that had submitted to the divine internal marriage between self and the divine. They merged with the field itself, not the image on top of the field. They had stopped being the human shaped cloud, and had become the infinite sky. In this way, by cracking the egg that contained them, they became beyond form. And in this way, they had attained to heaven and are now infinite and eternal. In this way, I am eternal. However, that sentence is wrong. Eternal is. I am the egg that was broken. I am the one who has gone, the tathāgata, of the Hindus and Buddhists. So, one does not attain to heaven or attain to eternal life. One unattains being bound, closed, to take flight as the Unbound and infinite.

Butterflies aren’t real

And yet, all humans are born infinite. They think themselves bound and contained, but this containment is a dictatorship of the mind and is a delusion. We are caterpillars who have forgotten their butterfly and moth nature. We are fully formed birds, who make ourselves in the shape of eggs to appease the demands of a gaslighting mind. We walk the Earth, bemoaning that we, like Pinocchio, are not real boys, when all along, we have always been fully real, merely deluded into believing ourselves as separate, compulsively trying to find others to manipulate into mirroring our delusion of separateness back to us.

May you first know of the Unbound in measure. Then may you be a fully empty vessel, a contained jar of the Unbound, which is formless and empty to the mind. And lastly, may you smash the shell of the jar in your mind, receive the Unbound as a lover, and become infinite and eternal. This is a journey like that of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, who must return the ring of separateness to the fires of Mount Doom. The journey destroy’s his mind’s ability to maintain the delusion of separation, the trollish Gollum serving to illustrate the mind’s delusion at full force.

The mind will warn you vociferously that becoming infinite means being annihilated, but this is because the mind cannot see beyond the event horizon of the black hole of infinity. What is on the other side of the event horizon? Peace. The heart can see beyond the event horizon. May you follow it mindlessly to silence, receptivity, peace, and eternity, never to return.

Lastly, what you have just read is full of lies. The unbound is beyond verification. These words are a stick figure of truth, a crude imitation of the art of truth, purchased at the gift shop on the way out of the museum of the Unbound. May they point you toward truth as I have been so directed.

Before enlightenment, manage chronic disease and make the best of adversity. After enlightenment, manage chronic disease and make the best of adversity.

The most frightening thing I’ve had to accept in my life is that there is no liberation on Earth except liberation from death and rebirth. I thought that spirit would liberate me from the pain of my body, but that is not the way. However, the process by which we struggle can move us closer to divinity or not. God is selective and changes the path from time to time. Right now, in my view, if you want to struggle the right way, look to the Black American struggle mechanisms of the last 400 years: Spirituals, The Blues, Ecstatic Gospel music, improvisation, and protest, to name a few. From the utter darkness of being a chattel slave to then being a second-class citizen was born a new light that is now available to everyone. Add in psychedelics, and you got a good Gumbo going!

We are born into prison, and we will die in prison. Earth is a prison, the Sun is the warden. Pardons are available, but you have to go your own way. Society herds us away from the possibility of a pardon on purpose. Only those who go their own way will be rewarded. Otherwise, just get used to living in prison. And you can find ways of getting a lot of nice stuff in your cell and have the best cell in the block, but you’re still in prison. This sounds unbelievably harsh to many people, but that is only because most people have been told that they are free and have no chains. Those of us who have seen the bottom of this reality and have been beaten by metaphorical prison guards can see past the illusion.

This was Buddha’s message. Samsara is prison and Maya is the delusion that we are not in prison. Some people have such nice prison cells that they assume that this cannot be prison. They work tirelessly to arrange their prison cell to make it “nice” enough so that they forget they are in prison. Then, one day, a guard will come in and remove all of their property. Instead of realizing that they were wrong and that no one is outside of the prison in this plane of existence, they go mad trying to blame other prisoners for making life seem like a prison.

There is a famous verse from the New Testament of the Christian Bible where Jesus was asked by a wealthy man what is the best way for him to get into Heaven and escape prison. Jesus replied “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me” (Matthew 19:21). Jesus was telling him that being impoverished is a great way of seeing reality for the prison that it is. He was telling the prisoner with the nicely furnished cell to clear out his prison cell to the bare minimum. He would then be able to see the bars on the window and the light beyond the bars, which is true reality.

I understand how painful and lonely it can be to see oneself as imprisoned in a painful reality with no hope of liberation beyond death. I have strained against the bars on my prison cell window, hoping to break them to run free. I have attempted like mad to find an escape route from the prison. My life has been very harsh at times. I have a multitude of labels even one of which would be a heavy cross to bear. Living as a second class citizen and having a chronic pain condition and chronic fatigue condition requires me to struggle daily just to survive. I attempted suicide many times until I realized that I would just be back in the prison after dying a self-murderer, filled with hatred for my Earthly existence and self.

God is real, but the path is obscured and you will be taunted mercilessly for following it. This is the esoteric truth of the Passion of Christ where Jesus was made to carry the heavy cross while others jeered at him, whipped him, and deprived him of any semblance of comfort. The cross represents the intersection of the spirit (the vertical line) with the limitations of material reality (the horizontal line). Pursuing God requires us to fully accept that life is a prison, but in the example of Christ, we can see how others will fight like mad to shut up those who dare to say that their nicely appointed prison cell is meaningless. Jesus was saying that their fancy cell was like a bow wrapped around a piece of shit. And they were not amused to say the least. But those with the barest of prison cells followed him. They did not have the delusion of those “on the top” in this reality.

Nearly five years ago, I was given a pardon, but I didn’t realize what it was until now. I still sought escape even though I was not suicidal anymore. The notion that one can be fully healed on Earth if we just get our prison cell nice enough is a really common delusion. There is an irreducible amount of pain and suffering that we must bear on this planet. However, we can accept that pain and not let it drive us mad. We can see the prison cell bars as not really threatening at all. We can see that through acceptance of the dark aspects of life, they lose their fangs and cease being horrifying. I have internalized this acceptance slowly over the last five years, but our society makes it difficult to have this level of acceptance because most people are obsessed with the delusion that they can escape the cross of harsh reality on Earth.

I still find it hard to accept that I am fully saved from death because I still have to endure such suffering, but I don’t know what human life is not mired in suffering. Yes, I can walk the line and do my best to attenuate my pain through self-discipline and acting on wisdom and not fear. But I will continue to be tested, strained, and challenged until I die, and this is fine. I have gained wisdom and peace in place of fear and madness. Today, I am sitting in bed, my nerves firing what feels like electric shocks throughout my body. The title of this article is a reference to a Zen aphorism that says “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” We might achieve total enlightenment, but our body, like a cow that we must care for, requires maintenance and care, and this will persist until we die. So today, I’m caring for my body, in prison, enduring the literal pain of this existence. But I bow to that pain as a teacher and guide. And I chop wood and carry water just like any other day.

David said in Psalm 23: “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me.” He did not say that he will be free of evil. He said that he will not fear any evil that he encounters. We all live in the valley. We can climb a mountain or build a tower to the heavens, but we are still in the valley. I know why I suffer. I suffer so that I grow into oneness with the divine. I have remembered my divine origin through the process of enduring suffering. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato asserted in his philosophy of anamnesis that true knowledge is gained by remembering our divine origin. I have remembered it. I wished with gigantic fervor to return to it. But I was denied. I internalized this rejection as a judgment on my character.

We are all prisoners, and yet, in being imprisoned, we have the ability to bring the light of the divine to a dark world. In this way, we are also born as unlit candles, may you find your fire, so that you may see, and others around you may see as well. The more people who have burning wicks, the more pleasant this prison life will be.

Getting serious about when laughter becomes ridicule and what that does to the person being laughed at

I’ve been thinking about laughter and the idea that laughter is anger evaporating. The anger behind laughter can also be combined with fear. For example, I laugh at customers at work when I am exasperated by rude or irrational people. Others might laugh at something that threatens them. People laugh when they are frightened in a horror movie.

I’ve been laughed at what I assume is more than the average person of my age. And so I’m really sensitive to what it feels like to be freakish, gross, stupid, idiotic, sinful, wrong, or merely different. Is there a way to laugh at and act compassionately in the same transaction? I don’t know.

Originally, this concept occurred to me in analyzing The Daily Show, with my theory that shows of that style pacify liberals and turn conservatives on the extreme defensive. I mean, the whole comedians on TV just trashing on conservatives is a huge industry now. And my theory goes that Trump and all the patriarchal “daddies” out there swoop in being like “I’ll save you from the big city meanies laughing at your 2,000 year old ideas about social customs mijo”

However, I worry that using public shaming and ridicule like this can be a harsh social signal with unintended consequences even when someone deserves it. This kind of collective activity of trashing on stupid conservatives serves a purpose no doubt, but being ridiculed can make a human really defensive, insular, and untrusting.

I’m not really trying to propose a “right amount” of trashing on conservatives or anything. I’m just proposing a mechanism. However, I fully know that without a minimum level of compassion in each of our collective hearts, the social organism will just keep being utterly dysfunctional. Before I gave in to compassion for myself and forgiveness for others, I was a civil war inside, and I healed.

Always remember dear readers that people have walked through deeper valleys and held onto the light through staggering darkness. Life is hell. Compassion and peace are heaven, wisdom is the ladder. Om mani padme hum. If we ask for help, it will arrive. These are the things I’ve learned in the dark. The collective unconscious is dying to be reborn. The new birth comes soon.

I had a 3RD EYE VISION today of Trump and how he sees the reality of losing. Most likely metaphorical?

This did not happen nor do I desire it to happen as of today: 11/26/20. I Just like to post these to do a sort of magick.

Scene:
Trump is shaking a wall of a very large model of a giant capitol building in DC while
mobs of Trumpers surround him shaking it as well, from further away. Near to him, down the way is an unidentified Trump administration official, maybe it was John Kelly?
I’ll refer to him as Other Trump Dude or OTD

Trumpo: when they figure out I can’t bring this thing down what are they going to do?

Other Trump Dude: they’ll eat you alive

Trump: oh, when that happens, I don’t want to be here anymore

Other Trump Dude: OK Understood

Trumpo: Oh and unintelligible kill yourself too

Trump gestures toward OTD

Trump: OK

Trump turns and walks away with a cane

Later a scene is shown where 3-4 men surround Trump while one administers an injection to his arm. Trump quickly passes into a coma. A team of secret service enters the room, and then my vision ended.

Notes:
First, he was drinking or drunk in the vision. He was holding a rocks glass with ice and liquor swirling around the lower third of the glass. And he was using that glass holding hand to point at OD with. My gaydar as a transwoman says he moved more like a woman moves, but not distractingly or unnaturally. It was graceful for his awkwardly hoisted, leaning upper body. Almost Birdcagey. But he was confident and did not pause between sentences at all.

The New God, The New Path, The New Stars

When I was in heaven (within my inner matrix), most of the people I saw were African-American, and I think I know why now. Through the merging of West African spirituality with Christian deities in the United States over the last 400 years, a new syncretic faith has emerged. The God of Abraham was changed by interfacing with new energies and new modes of worship. I fully believe that Black, American Christianity with its fiery preachers (shamans), gospel participatory music (ecstatic ritual), and non-violent resistance of injustice (yoga) a new faith has emerged.

It is now being spread on dance floors by people like Prince, David Bowie, and James Brown. It is being demonstrated in non-violent protests of the horrible conditions of the poor, maligned, and the victims of racism. No, it’s not the “devil music,” and Black Lives Matter isn’t a satanic organization. They are practicing the new language of the old Christian God, Yahweh/Abba.

White, Evangelical ministry steals some of these aspects from Black Abrahamic Neo-Judaism (my word for the new religion), but does not fully embrace the new faith as a whole. It tries to blend old modalities with the new. The only way to worship the new God is to embrace the new, as Bowie and Prince did. I mention these two individuals because I have met both of them in my astral travels, and they pop into my consciousness occasionally now and show up in my music composition. David Bowie is the new Saint Peter. Prince is far too coy to fill that role. He appears in my consciousness more like the Cheshire Cat, but quite warm and kind as well.

God has retired his Abba self that was communicated by Jesus and the early Christians to the quite violent and dominating people of their time. The God of the Now celebrates the queer, funky, multi-lateral, and detached. The God of the Now is a home as well. God has an equal wife and a family and has many transgender, queer, black, and impoverished children. Truly, the last have become first as Jesus predicted, but it is still in process. The future is queer, brown, kinetic, and just.

Christianity as it has been practiced for the last 2,000 years is expired. This is why people are looking to saviors like Donald Trump. Trump is the anti-Christ, but it is not the fire and brimstone, flames from the sky version Christians have been expecting. It’s just that the rules have changed, and so the people practicing what is left of Christianity are not connected to God anymore and have no idea of how to judge reality. This happened in ancient Rome when Ceasar essentially became a savior figure to the people, who were feeling the new Christian water energy, but did not yet understand it.

The new goal is to become a rock star, or a Blackstar as Bowie put it. Don’t look to saviors, save yourself through the new path, as forged in the last few hundred years first by African Americans and later adopted by individuals of all races in the 20th century. I did it through dissociatives, music, and fighting to be my inner self above all. What is your path?

Within each of us is a Builder and a Checker. How balancing these forces can improve your flow.

In life, there is a Builder and a Checker in each of us.

The Builder loves creating new stuff and moving forward. They get really bored when there is nothing to fix, create, or build. Life wouldn’t get anywhere without the Builder that lives within each of us.

The Checker loves looking backward and optimizing. They get really bored without getting to see if what the Builder created is worth keeping or if it can be improved. They can prune back and tear down what the Builder builds if needed.

We all have varying levels of the Builder and the Checker within us. Some of us have 60% Builder and 40% Checker. Some of us have the opposite. People who are Builder dominant still have a ton of Checker in them. There is no such thing as a 100% Builder or a 100% Checker person. We are all each a unique ratio of Builder to Checker energy.

Some people say that all males are Builders and all females are Checkers. Well, there might be a higher ratio of Checker to Builder in women. But there are a TON of women who are Builder dominant people. Conversely, there are a TON of Checker dominant people born male. Although there may be a loose correlation between birth gender and being Builder or Checker dominant, it is not a rule. Trying to reduce Builder to Male and Checker to Female will end in disaster for a community. Exceptions must be made for outliers will be sacrificed for the sake of simplicity of model.

And also, the amount of Checker or Builder in a person is changing from day to day and year to year. Living is complicated, and we have a forward and a reverse gear for a very good reason. If we are only building but not checking, we are driving blind. If we are only checking but not building, we never start anything new. There is a natural cycle of Building and Checking built into our reality. We go through cycles of Building and Checking on many different levels, simultaneously.

When I was in the closet, living as a male, I was often forced to participate in builder activities when I really wanted nothing to do with them. After I transitioned, I probably overcompensated by leaning towards the checker side of things. But now, because I stopped legislating how I should be, I feel like I have a pretty good balance for me. But I can still take way too long to get posts and songs out the door. Too much checking, I’m sure!