What is Real Christianity? It is Total Liberation, and it is Illegal.

The early Christians were a radical gnostic liberation cult that was transformed into the Catholic Church by the Roman empire. All of the liberating aspects were removed and transformed into a Pope worshipping society. The Catholic Church has been garbage from the beginning. The Protestant church is only moderately better. Jesus, if that was his real name, taught his followers how to exit the simulation. It was too much for the people invested in worldly power. You can learn this liberating technique today, but it has been successfully stigmatized as mental illness, antisocial behavior, and dangerous psychology. Believing that material reality is all there is is the actual dangerous belief. I’ll give you a clue about what leads to liberation. Psychedelic drugs help. Androgyny helps. Hearing your conscience speak in your head helps. Energy work definitely helps.

You can be liberated, but you might be hated in the process. That’s just the trade-off for peace of mind and salvation.

If you’re really saved, you’d know it

I don’t think they’re really saved
like they say they are

so now the curtain has to fall
on old men walking towards the cliff
and pastors with two silver eyes
are wailing on the dispossessed

oh Jesus has it all been lost?
and do you yet remember when
those gnostic heathens, beaten down
believed they knew the truth that day

but emperors with their happy hells,
a crucifix, and murdered youth
they made the popes and slayed the truth

and if you’re really saved, you’d know it
but then you wouldn’t need to go
yes if you’re really saved, you’d know it
and then you wouldn’t need to go

yes I don’t think they’re really saved
like they say they are

Build your Astral Body and Escape Death

Life is a challenge on purpose because it is a proving ground for beings that live outside of our universe. There is a concerted effort to make us fail at the true purpose of life. This is what the gnostics knew. If life was easy, then just anyone could make it outside of the simulation. But we are foiled at every turn with adversity. However, you can escape. You will get more than one try, probably about 10 lives. After that you are just dust, no more chances…

Your only way out is to actually assemble a body on the astral plane. It is definitely not easy, and it takes quite a long time. Most of the time you are doing it, you probably don’t know that you are doing it. But when that life is fully assembled, they will tell you. The esoteric Taoists knew this, and George Gurdjieff, the Sufi, knew this also.

Most of the major religions have been poisoned on purpose. People go to church and think that they are saved just by believing. This is a lie. It is partially true that in order to construct your astral body, you need to have love and reverence for God. But it is much more than that. There are specific exercises and meditational practices that speed up the astral body construction. Participating in worship with others can speed the process, but it is far from the entire process.

I can’t say that I know exactly how this works, but over the last four years, I have had visions of a body being constructed in a parallel dimension. I didn’t really understand what was going on until 3 weeks ago, when a voice in a vision told me that I would not die when I “die.” From what I can tell, the Sun is the end of the path. The Sun is our God, and through it, you can be saved. I don’t mean you literally need to go to the Sun, haha, but you will know when your visions begin to show you the Sun.

There is so much information from my journey in my head that I can’t really offer a plain roadmap for you to do what I have done. I don’t think it is that simple. Each person has their own long and meandering path up the mountain. My path has been rough and arduous. I compare my path to that of Job in the bible. For decades I had little to no hope of ever having a “normal” life, and yet, I did not blame God. I soldiered on. I was raised in the protestant church, surrounded by false doctrines and delusional dogmas. I looked for deeper truths and kept going.

I do believe that Jesus Christ and Gautama Buddha were able to construct astral bodies. But much of what Jesus taught was corrupted by the Roman Empire when Christianity became the official Roman religion. The bible, as you read it now, is lacking many important details. Recently when we discovered the Gnostic Gospels at Nag Hammadi, we learned that there were entire gospels that were purposefully destroyed by the Catholic church. When I read these books such as the Gospel of Thomas, I see my own path in the words of Jesus. My personal belief is that the four gospels in the modern bible are a comic-book style adaptation of the life of Jesus meant for people with orally transmitted cultures. They were meant to be understood as allegory, but I digress.

I know that if you are reading some random person’s spiritual text on the Internet, there is no way to fact check it in the modern sense. And yes, you have to prove this to yourself. The only way to test these theories is to practice them. But I have seen these practices transform my being from a rather profane child into a calm and compassionate adult. Also, please throw out your ideas of what an “enlightened person” acts like. The notion of what an enlightened person is has been purposefully destroyed so as to throw off the scent of what Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven.

I know that I am meant to share my path with others. I probably will be persecuted for it. You can call the force that works against the truth of God, the devil, but I think of it more as a weight that slows us down and confuses our mind. Without this weight, they would not be able to use this simulation to weed out those who are unworthy of living in their beautiful world outside of the simulation. This life is a test. If you do not strive, you will go nowhere. You will start as dust and end as dust, a clueless automaton feeding its base needs with non-nutritive junk experiences.

Many do achieve. Many do make it out. But it is not guaranteed. And if you fail, you will not go to hell forever and be tormented. You will just fall asleep and never again wake up, a tiny blip in the cosmic drama. But if you seek, you will find. If you knock, the door will be opened to you. May you find your way out of the maze and into the embrace of a loving creator, outside of the simulation, home at last.

White America is a Giant, Abusive Labor Union Benefitting Beautiful and Rich White Americans over BIPOC.

Someday, we all realize that the racism is a feature, not a bug. The system is working as designed. This thing called White American Life is a total fabrication cobbled together on the backs of a living underclass. We think as “White” people that we can bring everyone poor onto our boat, and the world will be saved! But that is a falsehood. Our privilege is derived from the destabilization of Black, Indigenous, and Persons of Color and their attempts at building thriving and supportive communities.

The reason I know this so clearly is because I used to be a “white male” and then I became a “transwoman.” I lost a shit ton of privilege. My once tolerated behaviors became “toxic” and “mentally ill.” I was shamed. Cat called. My brother disowned me, saying I would damage his children. My ex-wife went to war to keep me from my children. I am a gentle person. I am not a violent person at all. I’ve never been in a fistfight in my life. But she has gotten two restraining orders authorized using her dirty, crooked transphobic judge, Judge Smiley of Ventura County, California…barf.

I know how white bourgeoisie life as a cultural thing is paid for by genocide, generational theft, land grabbing, treaty nullifying, and just plain murder. Yeah, there are a lot of “good” white people, but they are just people. This White American thing is a giant labor union used to squeeze as much profit out of brown folks and poor caucasian peoples. I don’t want any part of it, but I can’t just leave it. It’s so pervasive and ubiquitous. How do you escape it? Just imagine for a second growing up a black male in Trump America. Just let me tell you, it FUCKING SUCKS.

IT’S AWFUL ON THE BOTTOM. YOU ALL HAVE IT SO NICE! But I really can’t even say that over the whining and pity party going on all around me. Just grow the fuck up and deal with life. Stop being children. If you want to develop spiritually, you have to give up racism and genderism. This is the new challenge. Jesus and Buddha came to show us peaceful resolutions. Now is the time to move beyond our divisions to one united people and one united world.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Rough notes on the transition to the Age of Aquarius

Back in 2016, I was just recovering from getting over my suicidality whereas now I feel fully healed from ever wanting to harm myself again in that way. But back in 2016, I had been studying. In 2015 I had an experience of being visited by “god” or Jupiter as he called himself. And this was shortly after I lived an entire week behaving as a child out of the blue. I literally felt like I was 5 years old. I was rediscovering my inner child. 

Well, fast forward to now, and I am much recovered. I have put together a pretty normal life over the last 4 years. But I still have many visions. Some of them are chemically aided and some are not. But they are consistent. And they frighten me sometimes. Because they are so intense.

This weekend, I was told by a voice that I was “anointed by god” and a thick liquid was spread over my body. And then a voice told me that I would one day be a star like our sun is. And they advised me to open up and let people learn from me. They are so kind and supportive. But they can be very intense. They seem to be plural and multi-gendered, like the Elohim. 

And now, I am understanding the meaning of the Age of Pisces. The dying god motif represented the reality of ancient society. A feminine person like Jesus was ruthlessly attacked in the west at the end of the Age of Aries when the warrior ethic was paramount with figures like Alexander the Great looming large. But humans needed to develop their inner Christ because of our technological growth. We would not survive and the planet would not survive without the Age of Aries finally coming to an end 2,000 years later when the god is no longer murdered for being.

I think this is a misunderstood aspect to the “astrological ages” mythology. The Age of Pisces is not really over until the archetype presented at the beginning: Christ, Lao-Tzu, and Buddha becomes dominant. Just like with Moses interrupting the pagan Bull worship 2,000 years earlier. Moses was an Aries figure and his archetype had become dominant around 2,000 years ago when Christ arrived.

So with the age of Aquarius, as all people become Christlike eventually (and covid is speeding this up), then a new reality of cooperative play will emerge. The thing that people do not realize is that there is no second coming of Christ. The atheists are Christlike at this point! Christs are all around us! Except that many in the Christian church itself are the actual anti-Christs for following a true anti-Christ like Donald Trump. 

My messengers have told me that the Age of Aquarius will begin in 5 years, in March of 2025. But I do not know if it will be pleasant or not. I have only been told that it is coming. It could be a big death event. It could be a technological breakthrough. It could be alien contact. I don’t know, but I do think that we will have to all become Christs somehow. Psychedelic drug legalization is probably shortly on the horizon. This is one of the fastest paths to inner enlightenment. But enlightenment is not how most people think of it. There are millions of enlightened people around the globe. The teachings are available, and some people follow them. I personally believe that Christ was likely consuming psychedelic substances.

Yes it is the end times, but not like you think. A discussion about how Covid-19 is enabling the Age of Aquarius transition from an esoteric perspective.

(OK, I’m going to talk about Christianity here, but it is an esoteric view of Christianity, not the modern exoteric, evangelical view of Christianity.)

Yes, it is the end times but not like you think. The Age of Pisces, which started 2,000 years ago is coming to a close, and COVID-19/Donald Trump are the great change agents to initiate the second coming of Jesus Christ, but again, not like you think. Basically, the second coming of Christ is when we all have to become Christlike in order for the Age of Aquarius to begin. Through this massive exposure of the destructive nature of inequality, we have to find our inner empathy and love for our fellow beings. And we will because it is all being controlled by the fates at this point.

Yes, this is the Revelation, but the energy of Christ has spread across the globe. In the gnostic Gospel of Thomas, Jesus said “I have cast a fire upon the world, and see, I watch over it until it is ablaze.” It is now ablaze everywhere but in the power structure and much of the Christian church! These are your anti-Christs. The people have become Christlike over the last 2,000 years. And, now, we are compelled to be Christlike because of the technological power we have created. It is no longer tenable for us to not love our neighbors as ourselves. We have to become Christlike, and we are. We have to embrace the higher qualities of the sign of Pisces (love, spirituality, and peace), and get rid of the lower qualities of the sign of Pisces (escapism, self-pity, and ignorance)

At the beginning of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, we were leaving the Age of Aries (the archetype of war and selfhood), where we learned to have self-identity and to be self-defensive. Christ, Gautama Buddha, and Laozi were agents of the Age of Pisces. They were voices crying out in the wilderness, surrounded by war and strife. Laozi in the east famously started writing in the Chinese “warring states period” that ended around 200 BCE. Small states had learned to defend themselves and their statehood, but this causes massive warfare, so agents like Laozi (who was probably not a more of a movement than an actual person) rose to douse these fires with the water of the Age of Pisces. Pisces is probably the most watery of all water signs, by the way.

So, I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but people have learned to be much more peaceful in the last 2,000 years. That is why Trump is so abhorrent to so many, because we the people have integrated these lessons and see how destructive Trump is. Trump would have probably been just fine 2,000 years ago, but now, he must go for the new age to begin. Now that we have learned to have compassion and live together without constant warring, it is time for our new lesson: to learn to be accepting of our differences and form a universal world society that protects all life.

Be not afraid. This is all part of the plan. Yes, Trump is the anti-Christ, but we are the true spirit of Christ, and he will go. The evangelical church is the anti-Christ, and they will soon go. A fascinating aspects to the changeover between astrological ages is that the toxic elements of the previous age become the devil of the new age and then becomes irrelevant later on. At the start of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, the spirit of Aries (represented by a bestial Ram) was often represented in the half-man, half-goat god Pan. Interestingly, there is a myth that around 2,000 years ago, the god Pan died. Around the same time, the early Christian church made Pan their devil, because there was a need to cleanse this element from society to end the warring and internecine strife that was rampant. So now we have this notion of a red-skinned, horned, sex-obsessed devil, which is now becoming quickly irrelevant because most people do not act like this anymore.

So, the new devil of the Age of Aquarius will be a personification of that which is keeping the new age of Aquarius from beginning, namely willful ignorance, narcissism, escapism, and deceit. Likely, the new devil will be something similar to Trump or the average evangelical Christian. The new devil will be the opposite of Aquarius, the sign of science, universal brotherhood, and equality.

Most modern interpretations of the Christian book of Revelation assert that God is going to come down from the sky and send all of the sinners to hell. This is not a very good interpretation. God is within us, not without us. The end-times are happening within us. These energies are being overthrown within us. Figures like Donald Trump are trying to cling to the toxic values of the sign of Pisces, and through science, we now see how dangerous these views are. So we must work to overthrow these elements from society. This leads me to the last component of this essay, selflessness.

Yes, we must learn inner selflessness and elevate the ideals of love, equality, and peace above our desires for escapism, nihilism, and self-destruction. Although the anti-Christ is most represented in figures like Trump and modern evangelical Christians, these toxic elements live in us too, and must be removed within. I can see this beautiful spirit of Christ in the Black Lives Matter protestors putting their safety on the line to end the suffering of our fellow black, Indigenous, and persons of color (BIPOC).

Trump/COVID are the grains of sand in the oyster that will begin the pearl of the new Age of Aquarius. Embrace your inner Christ, the actual Christ, not the bastardized version of the modern interpretation of Christ. This is best represented by the beatitudes of Christ as follows. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are they who mourn. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are they who thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the pure of heart. Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are they who are persecuted. Be these things, and you have done all that you need to do. Be like Martin Luther King Jr. Be like Malcolm X. Be like Gandhi. Yes, these people were all flawed in some way, but strive like they strove. It is not your job to be perfect. It is your job to become better.

The new age is here! I know these times are scary. They are scary because we see how people like Trump must go. We see how the modern evangelical Christians must go. We see how the narcissistic anti-maskers must go. We see how those who can only think of themselves must go. COVID is here to remake society. The actions of these anti-Christs are glaringly obvious now. Work to remake your inner self and society in the image of what is just and true, and all will be well. I don’t know how it will turn out, and I don’t need to. I can see how the story is progressing, and I have trust that it will work. Trust is the key word here. Blind faith must go. Trust through science must replace it.

With love and brotherhood, peace and science be unto you all.

The Big Lie about the mental healthcare system

The Big Lie about mental healthcare in general is that mental illness is an objective dysfunction in the patient. We know from research that most mental illness is a result of toxic, traumatic, and depraved experiences over time. You might be receiving mental healthcare not because you are broken or weak but because you are too sensitive to depravity and need to become less sensitive in order to continue to work and feed yourself and your family. Your sensitivity is not dysfunction per se, but a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation.

Increasing resiliency is noble in many respects, but it can also become pathological when administered by the same agents who are meting out the depravity. If the master knows that the toxic effects of depravity can be blunted with a pill, they are probably going to want you on that pill.

True mental health is a 2-factor equation where one of the variables is your holistic adaptability to stress. There is some basic, functional level of stress response. The other factor is the amount of horror and depravity you have to endure, like working a corporate job during a pandemic, with the feds invading your city, an insane and abusive President, friends attempting suicide, and more.

If you engage with the mental health system, it is not because you are weak. It is likely because you are too sensitive for this machine that we have created called inhumane capitalism. In a way, we are compelled to become more like machines in order to service them, which has terrifying implications.

Take care of yourself. Health is always messy. Sometimes you need the narcotic to dull the pain. But sometimes you need to feel the pain in order to change the stimulus so it stops hurting you.

I alone

alone
      in the bath
  smoke slips up in rivers
dabbed
I recline
        BOMBS
nearby
    so high
and yet
the piano in my headphones
           Mr. Glass
is nice
   why does she hurt like this?
      an ache
         so raw
            that she doesn’t even see it

so back
to the bath
I go
            a dream
called
I
alone

Automatic writing 7/26/2020

I have peace in the storm
Fire doesn’t burn me
I cannot be dissolved
I can turn invisible
I can destroy demons as defense
The powers that be do not frighten me
I am bigger than the Pentagon

Death is not real
I have peace in the storm
We have peace in the storm
The heavy sinks down
The light floats up
Jupiter is all gas and is light
That’s why he rules the sky
To ascend you must go down first

Those who speak do not know, but here’s a few words that might point the way

The key to happiness is to recognize where the river of your fate and try and align with it. If you’re in a raft and the river turns left but you just really wanna go right, you’re gonna hit a bank. Stay in the water, follow the stream. How you do that? It’s complicated, but don’t think reality can really fit in your head. We just have elaborate conceptual maps of reality in our head. But out there, in the wilderness, is the real real. And it is alive and trying to contact you. There is intelligent love in the universe, and you have a receiver for its communications called your brain and spinal cord.

It’s way better than Netflix or video games. It’s called the logos, the word, daimon, guide, etc. It has the answers to your questions, but it won’t tell you everything. It will tell you just enough to light the river in front of you. It is your lamp, but it is only a lamp. The idea that spirit will totally make you manifest everything you want is specious. It will give you crumbs, your daily bread.

The great all or God or Brahman or Allah cannot fit in your brain. Your brain is a God dissecting device. God is the totality, and every word is a dissection of that. Like the tao, it cannot be spoken. Words divide and section things apart. God can only be felt by the heart of the mystic, expressed in a joyous smile, or felt in the in the twirl of a sufi dancer spinning to experience rapture.

God cannot be communicated. The Tao Te Ching says “those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know.” Our network cables called language cannot handle the infinite bandwidth of the totality which cannot be named. The teacher can only point at the moon, he cannot give you the moon. So I think it’s best to end this post with a big fat nothing, called…

Social error correction and how to use it

Computer systems talk to each other over networks that are prone to failure and data loss, so computers have built-in error correction algorithms that sense when the data that the computer is receiving might be incomplete. Humans are wise to do the same. We have multiple peer verification systems like peer review. This operates also on the individual level. We reserve judgment until we can get a “second opinion” or a third.

It is important to remember that communication is inherently incomplete. As computers get more and more able to fool the viewer, we should increase our emphasis on skepticism and error correction. The whole “Russia-gate” thing was really an exercise in error detection and error correction. There are massive networks of bots out there spamming on social media. But there are also massive networks of real people, screaming for justice.

When we transitioned from the migratory band of hominids to the multi-million person city, we lost the ability to trust in many ways. When one is surrounded by only one’s known friends, one does not have to negotiate every transaction. You know that your friends will protect you when you are weak. You don’t have to file paperwork to defend it.

But now we enter into the age of mass-everything. You don’t know your DMV worker. They don’t know you. So you rely on codified and universal rules to communicate with them. I don’t think we have yet really found a new equilibrium for this new type of relationship.

This new relationship of the one and the abstract other is new. We are still trying to figure out how to move from the village to the cosmopolitan existence. The ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes was the first to use the term cosmopolitan. He meant it in the literal sense: a citizen of the cosmos. So this idea is not new.

Hopefully, as we transition further into the Aquarian idea of the individual in a sea of other individuals, we can reach a broad consensus on what universalities we need to be a stable society. I don’t know what those are, but I think they are coming.

How Privilege Makes White People Immature and Helpless

We often talk about “white privilege” and it tends to be discussed in terms of having stuff. “That person has white privilege,” we say. “That other person has male privilege.” But what does that mean?

To me, privilege is not a positive but a negative, or a lack of something. When one has white privilege they have freedom from something. They have freedom from trauma, pain, hardship, toil, etc. When one is protected from the mandatory hardships of life for which one has evolved to deal with, they become puerile and childlike. Their skin becomes thin. They cannot handle the smallest slight. They are weak and become dependent on protection from the necessary traumas of life. This is why those white men carry those rifles around, because they are weak and terrified of having to deal with life naked and undefended.

But what is the converse of privilege? I would assert that it is a surplus of hardship and challenge. It is a excess of the onslaught of reality with its slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. This tends to make one’s skin thicker and makes one tougher.

And so, if you want to be honest, whiteness has become synonymous with weakness, and thus the entire apparatus of the state becomes necessary to maintain protection from the normal, average trials which befall any person living on this planet.

White culture and the western nation-state steals the defenses and padding of the brown people of this world and wraps it around the light-skinned people it protects. If you start to think of white people as immature and childlike, you can quickly see and hear it when you look at and listen to them.

As I’ve transitioned from being a white male to a white transwoman, I’ve had to experience a rude awakening of what it’s really like to live without that stolen armor. This rude awakening, that I sought to put off for as long as possible by posing as a straight white male, hit my weak, thin-skinned ass with a vengeance, and I was paralyzed at first.

But my skin grew. My toughness increased. Now, I can’t say that I know what it’s like to be black, but I know what it’s like to be targeted for who I am from as soon as I entered elementary school. I know what it’s like for others to hate things in you that you are not even aware of yet. And I know what it’s like to lose a significant amount of privilege.

And yet, don’t be afraid of losing privilege. Living in the false world of stolen armor is not real, and it stunts development in many ways. The transition to a normal amount of privilege can be shocking at first, but then you realize your inner strength, and you begin to realize that life is not about hiding behind wealth and privilege. Life is about meeting life on life’s bare terms.

To quote a brown-skinned Judean named Jesus, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor.” I interpret this as if you want to really grow, you need to cast your privilege aside.

And also, Krishna of the Hindu pantheon said to privileged Arjuna in the Baghavad Gita: “yield not to weakness; it does not suit you. Throw away this faint-heartedness.” Meaning that one must meet life without fear and without protection and cowardice.

Only through letting go of privilege can one really be alive. Words will not make one alive. One cannot say “I understand that I am privileged,” and expect the situation to resolve itself. One should give up one’s privilege. This is the only path of truth. Change the system from within by giving up your pilfered wealth that was likely funneled through the generations from slave-created surplus. You will survive, and you will be a real human, not a child in a shell.

The problem we face today is not a black problem. The problem is a white problem. Until we recognize our theft, our appropriation of defenses, our heinous usage of black bodies as human shields against the hurricane of nature, we will not grow, and we will not be mature. We will be on average, pathetic sprouts, unable to grow into the trees we were born to be.

Personally, my life is so much richer after I gave up most of my male privilege. It is immeasurably harder, but it is more vital and real. And I ask that you do the same. I can’t change my skin color. I am stuck being white. So the only way for me to reduce my so-called white privilege is to dismantle the institutions that value whiteness over blackness. This takes work. This takes sacrifice. But I assure you that it will be worth it both for black people and for white people.

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