I must say that to be a thinking person with an honest heart and to be a believing Christian is just about as difficult today as it was in the 1st century when Rome was committed to crush this newborn belief system. But today, it is difficult because the church has lost the message of Christ. If the temple is the worshipers, then the money changers are right back where they were before Christ threw them out. It might not always be money that they are changing; the true sin of those merchants was to equate holiness with material things which is best described by the phrase “spiritual materialism.” The church of today, as evinced by the gross and sinful election of Donald Trump as a “Christian President,” is rotten and in a decay so deep that it is difficult to say if even Christ can resurrect this body spiritual.
But in the spirit of Christ, which is the eternal personification of God, all things are possible. This phrase sounds wholly hollow because of its modern status as a cliche, but it is true. It has just not been fully translated into the modern system of language. But God has revealed this translation to me through vision, synchronicity, joy, and rebirth. I have grown the Christ within my heart, and now it is my salvation. I did not go through the Christian church to reach Christ; I actually went to China and India to find Christ, but he was there, as he was even before his birth in Nazarus.
The Christian Gospels are actually quite spare in many of the details in how to create this alchemical Christ within your spiritual heart. I believe that this knowledge was suppressed when the Roman authorities adopted Christianity as the state religion. As we now know from the discovery of the Gnostic library at Nag Hammadi, there was a purge of minority opinions in the 4th century following the Council at Nicaea and the subsequent decision to establish the church around what would become known as Catholic ideas as codified by Saint Augustus and similar thinkers. This position created the impersonal Christ who could only be reached through the Papacy and its priestly caste. This disseminated the notion that true gnosis, or the direct communication with God, was impossible to the average layperson, and in effect it did become impossible as the tools by which one could communicate with God were lost in the atrophy of this spiritual knowledge.
I went to Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and mystical Judaism to relearn these techniques. They are hidden in those systems as well, and it takes a great amount of perseverance to discover them. But there is a way. One must fully break down the modern way of perceiving the world in order to have the truth revealed. We are all quite sick in our pervasive negativism and nihilism. We worship the negative, and then we are surprised when the negative takes the throne to rule. I was victim to this way of thinking for decades, and I was suicidal because of it. I was hopeless, lost, and constantly wanting for peace.
But five years ago, a miracle occurred in my life. I was possessed and overtaken by the spirit of God in a courthouse in California. My body became but a puppet to this powerful force, and it spoke through me. It was supreme confidence. It only lasted for an hour or so, and I was deeply troubled by it, but the actions that this spirit took effectively dismantled my previous life and set me on a new path. Because of this mystery, my life was forever changed. I committed myself to understand what had happened. And today I am confident that I understand as best I as I can. I don’t have supreme understanding, but I know that I walk in the right direction. Clarity is developing, but I have faith.
I have relearned the techniques of gnosis, and God has revealed in a mysterious manner what is true. These truths have been given in such a way so as to build my faith brick by brick. And now, my temple is strong. And the curious thing is that after my sojourn in the Eastern ways of thought, the Christ of my youth has been revealed to me in a new light. I see his beauty. I understand that to truly see Christ, you must walk as Christ did. His last commandment was to “love each other as I have loved you,” which simply means that one must become the Christ to see the Christ.
It is not simply through going to a church, getting baptized, and yelling “I’m saved!” that you are reborn. This is foolishness and the growth of this materialistic perspective has poisoned the church. One must be baptized from within to be reborn. There are waters within your consciousness that must cleanse your soul, AND you must choose to discard your selfish ego in favor of your spirit of service and piety. This is the only way to be saved. And this is not just a Christian truth, this is a human truth. There are many who have been saved in such a fashion in all faiths. The faith is just a map. You must walk the path within your heart to true salvation.
Only then will you see God. You must become a tempered sword of the good, where love, service, and humility are your strongest weapons. You must become a star whose core is powered by the fusion of your individual and the all; then the light of love will explode around you.
I have seen in prophetic vision that Christ did not die on the cross. He is still there; I have looked out from his eyes. He fully merged with God on that cross, and his kingdom is still glowing from that spot. I am now on that cross with him as millions of others are. I am happily splayed wide open, helpless, dead to the desires of the world. I am not yet fully completed, but I am so changed that there is peace in my heart. I know that I am walking to that kingdom, and because I walk to the kingdom, I am already there.
When you transcend your human life, you move outside of time and into the eternal. The people around you might see that you have died, but your spirit will live. Christ created a new heavenly kingdom, and many have gone to live within that kingdom of love. I will go there someday. In fact, I am already there. I have become a conduit for this love. I can choose to give this up and fall back into the unreal and dead, but I choose to walk into the light, knowing that persecution will follow. But this is fine. I have been prepared.
And I have been told that my choice to live as a transgender person is sanctioned. I know that it is not my gender presentation that is sinful; it is the desires in my heart that separate me from God. You can be whatever presentation or expression you like as long as you are a good and decent person and walk the true path.
Also, drugs are not evil per se. Some drugs like psychedelic chemicals, if used properly, can be great tools for realizing the truth of God. However, addiction to drugs is a terrible menace to your salvation, and you must become free of this and only use drugs voluntarily. I have struggled mightily with this, and I have overcome through grace and choice. I used to be an alcoholic, and today I am free from this bondage. But I still use psychedelic chemicals in my practice of gnosis.
I did not set out to believe in Christ. And I believe that the Christ spirit can be known by many paths, but I have been shown this truth, and I have peace. Choose love, humility, peace, defenselessness, and joy and become as a little child. Then you will be free. Love is waiting for you. Joy is your birthright.