Seek truth, embrace sacrifice, gain real power, and be able to resist with real strength.

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America is vomitous. Decadence has turned our beacon on a hill into a pit of desperation and despair. But the world at large is just as loathsome, if you don’t want to be some felating Yes-man to the “acceptable” notions of the moneyed aristocracy. The state of humanity in power in 2017 is just plain wretched. Occasionally I have the urge to a throw up just thinking about the state of our media and leadership. I’ve been repeating these themes for a long time, but people silence minorities who want to speak up and say something, well until it’s too late.

Here parades a sad cavalcade of bullies who need to be laughed at vociferously, but true and meaningful laughter comes from real power, and most Americans have had their power deviously stolen from them. So where does real power come from? It comes from going on a journey of the soul and confronting your fears deep inside yourself. Often this kind of growth comes from ordeals which most people either do not want to face or are not forced to face. Plus, there is spiritual knowledge that the powers that be have scrubbed from our literature through the generations in order to keep the people weak and think that the journey is pointless.

Robert Anton Wilson is someone that I highly respect. However, he was not just some two-bit political word slinger. He looked for esoteric knowledge and pursued it to the point of being laughed at himself. He took the words of Crowley, Leary, and Korzybski et al. and put them to work within the crucible of the human heart. Unless you are willing to pursue these verboten techniques and are willing to break laws in order to achieve them, you will not get anything in life except a gaggle of fake Internet points from other members of the insubstantial class.

Social media has turned so many people into dress up queens who put on metaphorical Instagram filters and think that they’ve done something important. Real power, the power that flows within you, comes through deep sacrifice, and sacrifice is a word that has been crumpled up and thrown into the trash. Honestly, for myself, I’m not sure if I really was that brave with my sacrifice. I grew up with a “wrong” gender and a “wrong” sexuality for an ostensibly male American. I was deeply shamed for most of my youth. I was ostracized from straight and gay communities alike. For some reason, I was born different, and my road has been very difficult. Finally, because I decided to live a life that was no choice to me, custody of my two beautiful baby boys was taken from me with the assistance of a conservative judge and the State of California. This was my forced sacrifice, and I had to go deep within myself to try and find peace in a world that was unfairness exemplified.

On that journey, I found something that others said was not real. I found the power of psychedelic substances that shone a light within my consciousness and illuminated my inner psychology to such a degree that I was able to quickly grasp what was real and what was not. I found the power of meditation and inner control. I found the power of a seemingly intelligent universe that sought to guide me forward. I found the power of internal rejuvenation. I found redemption.

The path for everyone is different, so it cannot be prescribed in a blog post. But the journey is the reward. Somehow I’m OK with my trials in this lifetime. I’m a rather despised member of our society in general, but I can smile from within my heart and have peace at times. Great and fortuitous forces have come to my aid when my realities were especially bleak. I have no assurance that I will survive my existential journey with any kind of “reward,” but onward I go, foolish and more free every day.

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