You are not broken if you compensate for your hard life by using “too much” drugs, sex, alcohol, food, etc.

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You’re not broken if the modern world and its inhumane expectations of you makes you want to do the following things to cope:

-Eat junk food to excess
-Drink alcohol to excess
-Exercise to excess
-Smoke weed to excess
-Use drugs to excess
-Have sex/masturbate to excess
-Use social media to excess
-Watch entertainment to excess

The modern world is grinding, boring, and detached. The authorities will try to shame you and get you to believe that you don’t have enough self-control. They’ll show you pictures of people who are not using those things to excess to make you think that not doing those things is “normal.”

But you don’t have to accept this gaslighting. Yes, you need to take responsibility for your body and your decisions. However, imagine if you were a marathon runner and someone told you the following:

“taking those cups of water from people on the side of the race is really just weakness. Here is a person that didn’t have to take those cups of water. Look at him smiling. See how happy and normal he is. You need to work on yourself…”

You would probably call that person insane. Our body has limits, and we need to honor those limits by balancing the needs of our bodies, spirits, and minds over the requirements of the industrial machine we’ve created with the stock market gods telling us how much output is “normal.”

So if you are compensating for the really dark and exhausting world we are living in by using drugs, eating junk food, drinking alcohol, or any other similar behavior, you probably have a good reason for doing so and are not just broken. So honor that part of you that is exhausted, fried, anxious, rejected, alone, sad, etc. by not shaming yourself for the behavior.

The behavior might be because you are being tortured by a crazy world. And it could also be that you are just full-on trying to escape too much from the inescapable pain of life. It’s a balancing act.

Personally, I have a lot of pain, trauma, exhaustion, and overwhelm from my history and my present. But I still had to stop drinking because it was a poor coping mechanism, and I’ve found better coping mechanisms like cannabis, meds, and junk food. Would it be ideal if I could have a perfect diet, no meds, and no recreational drugs? Maybe? But WTF is ideal anyway? Right now, this is what I need, and I’ve practiced harm reduction to make it more manageable.

I have to find that balance daily. I make mistakes. I stay attached to coping behaviors too long because I am afraid I cannot find a better solution. This is a natural reaction when humans feel threatened. I really am not trying to say this is easy, because it is hard and might take years or decades to resolve.

May you find that balance in trying to stay engaged with a world that is really quite dangerous and harmful. And may you have tenderness with yourself and your pain. Love to you all.

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