Author: zeronom

Rough notes on the transition to the Age of Aquarius

Back in 2016, I was just recovering from getting over my suicidality whereas now I feel fully healed from ever wanting to harm myself again in that way. But back in 2016, I had been studying. In 2015 I had an experience of being visited by “god” or Jupiter as he called himself. And this was shortly after I lived an entire week behaving as a child out of the blue. I literally felt like I was 5 years old. I was rediscovering my inner child. 

Well, fast forward to now, and I am much recovered. I have put together a pretty normal life over the last 4 years. But I still have many visions. Some of them are chemically aided and some are not. But they are consistent. And they frighten me sometimes. Because they are so intense.

This weekend, I was told by a voice that I was “anointed by god” and a thick liquid was spread over my body. And then a voice told me that I would one day be a star like our sun is. And they advised me to open up and let people learn from me. They are so kind and supportive. But they can be very intense. They seem to be plural and multi-gendered, like the Elohim. 

And now, I am understanding the meaning of the Age of Pisces. The dying god motif represented the reality of ancient society. A feminine person like Jesus was ruthlessly attacked in the west at the end of the Age of Aries when the warrior ethic was paramount with figures like Alexander the Great looming large. But humans needed to develop their inner Christ because of our technological growth. We would not survive and the planet would not survive without the Age of Aries finally coming to an end 2,000 years later when the god is no longer murdered for being.

I think this is a misunderstood aspect to the “astrological ages” mythology. The Age of Pisces is not really over until the archetype presented at the beginning: Christ, Lao-Tzu, and Buddha becomes dominant. Just like with Moses interrupting the pagan Bull worship 2,000 years earlier. Moses was an Aries figure and his archetype had become dominant around 2,000 years ago when Christ arrived.

So with the age of Aquarius, as all people become Christlike eventually (and covid is speeding this up), then a new reality of cooperative play will emerge. The thing that people do not realize is that there is no second coming of Christ. The atheists are Christlike at this point! Christs are all around us! Except that many in the Christian church itself are the actual anti-Christs for following a true anti-Christ like Donald Trump. 

My messengers have told me that the Age of Aquarius will begin in 5 years, in March of 2025. But I do not know if it will be pleasant or not. I have only been told that it is coming. It could be a big death event. It could be a technological breakthrough. It could be alien contact. I don’t know, but I do think that we will have to all become Christs somehow. Psychedelic drug legalization is probably shortly on the horizon. This is one of the fastest paths to inner enlightenment. But enlightenment is not how most people think of it. There are millions of enlightened people around the globe. The teachings are available, and some people follow them. I personally believe that Christ was likely consuming psychedelic substances.

Yes it is the end times, but not like you think. A discussion about how Covid-19 is enabling the Age of Aquarius transition from an esoteric perspective.

(OK, I’m going to talk about Christianity here, but it is an esoteric view of Christianity, not the modern exoteric, evangelical view of Christianity.)

Yes, it is the end times but not like you think. The Age of Pisces, which started 2,000 years ago is coming to a close, and COVID-19/Donald Trump are the great change agents to initiate the second coming of Jesus Christ, but again, not like you think. Basically, the second coming of Christ is when we all have to become Christlike in order for the Age of Aquarius to begin. Through this massive exposure of the destructive nature of inequality, we have to find our inner empathy and love for our fellow beings. And we will because it is all being controlled by the fates at this point.

Yes, this is the Revelation, but the energy of Christ has spread across the globe. In the gnostic Gospel of Thomas, Jesus said “I have cast a fire upon the world, and see, I watch over it until it is ablaze.” It is now ablaze everywhere but in the power structure and much of the Christian church! These are your anti-Christs. The people have become Christlike over the last 2,000 years. And, now, we are compelled to be Christlike because of the technological power we have created. It is no longer tenable for us to not love our neighbors as ourselves. We have to become Christlike, and we are. We have to embrace the higher qualities of the sign of Pisces (love, spirituality, and peace), and get rid of the lower qualities of the sign of Pisces (escapism, self-pity, and ignorance)

At the beginning of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, we were leaving the Age of Aries (the archetype of war and selfhood), where we learned to have self-identity and to be self-defensive. Christ, Gautama Buddha, and Laozi were agents of the Age of Pisces. They were voices crying out in the wilderness, surrounded by war and strife. Laozi in the east famously started writing in the Chinese “warring states period” that ended around 200 BCE. Small states had learned to defend themselves and their statehood, but this causes massive warfare, so agents like Laozi (who was probably not a more of a movement than an actual person) rose to douse these fires with the water of the Age of Pisces. Pisces is probably the most watery of all water signs, by the way.

So, I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but people have learned to be much more peaceful in the last 2,000 years. That is why Trump is so abhorrent to so many, because we the people have integrated these lessons and see how destructive Trump is. Trump would have probably been just fine 2,000 years ago, but now, he must go for the new age to begin. Now that we have learned to have compassion and live together without constant warring, it is time for our new lesson: to learn to be accepting of our differences and form a universal world society that protects all life.

Be not afraid. This is all part of the plan. Yes, Trump is the anti-Christ, but we are the true spirit of Christ, and he will go. The evangelical church is the anti-Christ, and they will soon go. A fascinating aspects to the changeover between astrological ages is that the toxic elements of the previous age become the devil of the new age and then becomes irrelevant later on. At the start of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, the spirit of Aries (represented by a bestial Ram) was often represented in the half-man, half-goat god Pan. Interestingly, there is a myth that around 2,000 years ago, the god Pan died. Around the same time, the early Christian church made Pan their devil, because there was a need to cleanse this element from society to end the warring and internecine strife that was rampant. So now we have this notion of a red-skinned, horned, sex-obsessed devil, which is now becoming quickly irrelevant because most people do not act like this anymore.

So, the new devil of the Age of Aquarius will be a personification of that which is keeping the new age of Aquarius from beginning, namely willful ignorance, narcissism, escapism, and deceit. Likely, the new devil will be something similar to Trump or the average evangelical Christian. The new devil will be the opposite of Aquarius, the sign of science, universal brotherhood, and equality.

Most modern interpretations of the Christian book of Revelation assert that God is going to come down from the sky and send all of the sinners to hell. This is not a very good interpretation. God is within us, not without us. The end-times are happening within us. These energies are being overthrown within us. Figures like Donald Trump are trying to cling to the toxic values of the sign of Pisces, and through science, we now see how dangerous these views are. So we must work to overthrow these elements from society. This leads me to the last component of this essay, selflessness.

Yes, we must learn inner selflessness and elevate the ideals of love, equality, and peace above our desires for escapism, nihilism, and self-destruction. Although the anti-Christ is most represented in figures like Trump and modern evangelical Christians, these toxic elements live in us too, and must be removed within. I can see this beautiful spirit of Christ in the Black Lives Matter protestors putting their safety on the line to end the suffering of our fellow black, Indigenous, and persons of color (BIPOC).

Trump/COVID are the grains of sand in the oyster that will begin the pearl of the new Age of Aquarius. Embrace your inner Christ, the actual Christ, not the bastardized version of the modern interpretation of Christ. This is best represented by the beatitudes of Christ as follows. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are they who mourn. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are they who thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the pure of heart. Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are they who are persecuted. Be these things, and you have done all that you need to do. Be like Martin Luther King Jr. Be like Malcolm X. Be like Gandhi. Yes, these people were all flawed in some way, but strive like they strove. It is not your job to be perfect. It is your job to become better.

The new age is here! I know these times are scary. They are scary because we see how people like Trump must go. We see how the modern evangelical Christians must go. We see how the narcissistic anti-maskers must go. We see how those who can only think of themselves must go. COVID is here to remake society. The actions of these anti-Christs are glaringly obvious now. Work to remake your inner self and society in the image of what is just and true, and all will be well. I don’t know how it will turn out, and I don’t need to. I can see how the story is progressing, and I have trust that it will work. Trust is the key word here. Blind faith must go. Trust through science must replace it.

With love and brotherhood, peace and science be unto you all.

The Big Lie about the mental healthcare system

The Big Lie about mental healthcare in general is that mental illness is an objective dysfunction in the patient. We know from research that most mental illness is a result of toxic, traumatic, and depraved experiences over time. You might be receiving mental healthcare not because you are broken or weak but because you are too sensitive to depravity and need to become less sensitive in order to continue to work and feed yourself and your family. Your sensitivity is not dysfunction per se, but a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation.

Increasing resiliency is noble in many respects, but it can also become pathological when administered by the same agents who are meting out the depravity. If the master knows that the toxic effects of depravity can be blunted with a pill, they are probably going to want you on that pill.

True mental health is a 2-factor equation where one of the variables is your holistic adaptability to stress. There is some basic, functional level of stress response. The other factor is the amount of horror and depravity you have to endure, like working a corporate job during a pandemic, with the feds invading your city, an insane and abusive President, friends attempting suicide, and more.

If you engage with the mental health system, it is not because you are weak. It is likely because you are too sensitive for this machine that we have created called inhumane capitalism. In a way, we are compelled to become more like machines in order to service them, which has terrifying implications.

Take care of yourself. Health is always messy. Sometimes you need the narcotic to dull the pain. But sometimes you need to feel the pain in order to change the stimulus so it stops hurting you.

I alone

alone
      in the bath
  smoke slips up in rivers
dabbed
I recline
        BOMBS
nearby
    so high
and yet
the piano in my headphones
           Mr. Glass
is nice
   why does she hurt like this?
      an ache
         so raw
            that she doesn’t even see it

so back
to the bath
I go
            a dream
called
I
alone

Automatic writing 7/26/2020

I have peace in the storm
Fire doesn’t burn me
I cannot be dissolved
I can turn invisible
I can destroy demons as defense
The powers that be do not frighten me
I am bigger than the Pentagon

Death is not real
I have peace in the storm
We have peace in the storm
The heavy sinks down
The light floats up
Jupiter is all gas and is light
That’s why he rules the sky
To ascend you must go down first

Those who speak do not know, but here’s a few words that might point the way

The key to happiness is to recognize where the river of your fate and try and align with it. If you’re in a raft and the river turns left but you just really wanna go right, you’re gonna hit a bank. Stay in the water, follow the stream. How you do that? It’s complicated, but don’t think reality can really fit in your head. We just have elaborate conceptual maps of reality in our head. But out there, in the wilderness, is the real real. And it is alive and trying to contact you. There is intelligent love in the universe, and you have a receiver for its communications called your brain and spinal cord.

It’s way better than Netflix or video games. It’s called the logos, the word, daimon, guide, etc. It has the answers to your questions, but it won’t tell you everything. It will tell you just enough to light the river in front of you. It is your lamp, but it is only a lamp. The idea that spirit will totally make you manifest everything you want is specious. It will give you crumbs, your daily bread.

The great all or God or Brahman or Allah cannot fit in your brain. Your brain is a God dissecting device. God is the totality, and every word is a dissection of that. Like the tao, it cannot be spoken. Words divide and section things apart. God can only be felt by the heart of the mystic, expressed in a joyous smile, or felt in the in the twirl of a sufi dancer spinning to experience rapture.

God cannot be communicated. The Tao Te Ching says “those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know.” Our network cables called language cannot handle the infinite bandwidth of the totality which cannot be named. The teacher can only point at the moon, he cannot give you the moon. So I think it’s best to end this post with a big fat nothing, called…

Social error correction and how to use it

Computer systems talk to each other over networks that are prone to failure and data loss, so computers have built-in error correction algorithms that sense when the data that the computer is receiving might be incomplete. Humans are wise to do the same. We have multiple peer verification systems like peer review. This operates also on the individual level. We reserve judgment until we can get a “second opinion” or a third.

It is important to remember that communication is inherently incomplete. As computers get more and more able to fool the viewer, we should increase our emphasis on skepticism and error correction. The whole “Russia-gate” thing was really an exercise in error detection and error correction. There are massive networks of bots out there spamming on social media. But there are also massive networks of real people, screaming for justice.

When we transitioned from the migratory band of hominids to the multi-million person city, we lost the ability to trust in many ways. When one is surrounded by only one’s known friends, one does not have to negotiate every transaction. You know that your friends will protect you when you are weak. You don’t have to file paperwork to defend it.

But now we enter into the age of mass-everything. You don’t know your DMV worker. They don’t know you. So you rely on codified and universal rules to communicate with them. I don’t think we have yet really found a new equilibrium for this new type of relationship.

This new relationship of the one and the abstract other is new. We are still trying to figure out how to move from the village to the cosmopolitan existence. The ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes was the first to use the term cosmopolitan. He meant it in the literal sense: a citizen of the cosmos. So this idea is not new.

Hopefully, as we transition further into the Aquarian idea of the individual in a sea of other individuals, we can reach a broad consensus on what universalities we need to be a stable society. I don’t know what those are, but I think they are coming.

How Privilege Makes White People Immature and Helpless

We often talk about “white privilege” and it tends to be discussed in terms of having stuff. “That person has white privilege,” we say. “That other person has male privilege.” But what does that mean?

To me, privilege is not a positive but a negative, or a lack of something. When one has white privilege they have freedom from something. They have freedom from trauma, pain, hardship, toil, etc. When one is protected from the mandatory hardships of life for which one has evolved to deal with, they become puerile and childlike. Their skin becomes thin. They cannot handle the smallest slight. They are weak and become dependent on protection from the necessary traumas of life. This is why those white men carry those rifles around, because they are weak and terrified of having to deal with life naked and undefended.

But what is the converse of privilege? I would assert that it is a surplus of hardship and challenge. It is a excess of the onslaught of reality with its slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. This tends to make one’s skin thicker and makes one tougher.

And so, if you want to be honest, whiteness has become synonymous with weakness, and thus the entire apparatus of the state becomes necessary to maintain protection from the normal, average trials which befall any person living on this planet.

White culture and the western nation-state steals the defenses and padding of the brown people of this world and wraps it around the light-skinned people it protects. If you start to think of white people as immature and childlike, you can quickly see and hear it when you look at and listen to them.

As I’ve transitioned from being a white male to a white transwoman, I’ve had to experience a rude awakening of what it’s really like to live without that stolen armor. This rude awakening, that I sought to put off for as long as possible by posing as a straight white male, hit my weak, thin-skinned ass with a vengeance, and I was paralyzed at first.

But my skin grew. My toughness increased. Now, I can’t say that I know what it’s like to be black, but I know what it’s like to be targeted for who I am from as soon as I entered elementary school. I know what it’s like for others to hate things in you that you are not even aware of yet. And I know what it’s like to lose a significant amount of privilege.

And yet, don’t be afraid of losing privilege. Living in the false world of stolen armor is not real, and it stunts development in many ways. The transition to a normal amount of privilege can be shocking at first, but then you realize your inner strength, and you begin to realize that life is not about hiding behind wealth and privilege. Life is about meeting life on life’s bare terms.

To quote a brown-skinned Judean named Jesus, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor.” I interpret this as if you want to really grow, you need to cast your privilege aside.

And also, Krishna of the Hindu pantheon said to privileged Arjuna in the Baghavad Gita: “yield not to weakness; it does not suit you. Throw away this faint-heartedness.” Meaning that one must meet life without fear and without protection and cowardice.

Only through letting go of privilege can one really be alive. Words will not make one alive. One cannot say “I understand that I am privileged,” and expect the situation to resolve itself. One should give up one’s privilege. This is the only path of truth. Change the system from within by giving up your pilfered wealth that was likely funneled through the generations from slave-created surplus. You will survive, and you will be a real human, not a child in a shell.

The problem we face today is not a black problem. The problem is a white problem. Until we recognize our theft, our appropriation of defenses, our heinous usage of black bodies as human shields against the hurricane of nature, we will not grow, and we will not be mature. We will be on average, pathetic sprouts, unable to grow into the trees we were born to be.

Personally, my life is so much richer after I gave up most of my male privilege. It is immeasurably harder, but it is more vital and real. And I ask that you do the same. I can’t change my skin color. I am stuck being white. So the only way for me to reduce my so-called white privilege is to dismantle the institutions that value whiteness over blackness. This takes work. This takes sacrifice. But I assure you that it will be worth it both for black people and for white people.

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Here’s to the deadening of the soul [FaMo Blues]

my voices tell me I should quit
quit what?
it doesn’t matter
my cat looks at me like I’m dying
and she’s 16 so she should know
we look at each other like invalids
I am trans and have fibromyalgia and autism
so I’m the great experiment
there are so many billionaires trying to give me drugs!
And have they!
the voices say what I’m doing isn’t working
but I’m so trapped
My children. Oh my children.
Yes, I’m a disenfranchised transgender FaMo.
The courts have ruled me unworthy of the experience.
But lest I sit inside a Portland tent
I have to kiss the master’s feet.
Oh lords and ladies of the land
sweet owners of stock options and
all yachts and all good graces too
do you?
think that a small and suffering lot
could use a few more trickles yet?
Oh no?

Then we might have to share
your military secrets and
make movies to your sweet demise
the land of former masters
burned

masks

the masks we wear, they wear us out

from when I was a straightish man
to yes, a “sportsman,” I once deigned
and then the mask at once became
a gayish, 19 years of age
sweet Jupiter was wooed I’m sure
the cleverest boy, with boyfriends too
to married father, divorced rage
and this transgender thing they say
I’ve always been quicksilver
darting Mercury through the haze
and so a traveler wearing masks
becomes the masks he at once gazed

and then the deepness tackled out
to bring the truth with Hades’ clout
I’m won because I’m just so sure
Masks are all and nothing more

Thoughts on society inspired by the COVID19 lockdown

I’ve been thinking and cogitating all day and making enemies while so doing, and I would like to have some fruit from that tree of discord, but I don’t know. I don’t know if I can even think rationally in this situation. I try and use my normal methods of understanding the world, and right now they just result in collapsed rage and explosive paranoia, speaking poetically.

I don’t like handing over my civil rights to our glorious leaders, and I also don’t like being slandered as a Trumper and enemy of the people. However, I am just asking questions, possibly dangerous ones I must cede. But what is a dangerous question? Do people end up in fascist Candyland because of dangerous questions?

I choose not to endorse a tribe in the dualistic split in the modern American states. But I do endorse proven science. However, the science on COVID-19 is still experimental. It has only been around for 5 months or so, and we don’t really understand the virus epidemiologically outside of the facts that it kills a lot of old people and some healthy people. It’s not the flu in that the flu usually is just an opportunistic organism, i.e. it usually kills people whose immune systems are close to failing already.

We don’t know how COVID-19 is spread outside of that it is communicable by close contact. We have not proven it spreads on surfaces. We have proven it spreads sexually. We know it spreads through aerosols, water/particulate matter that floats in the air. We know that lots of exhalations like those involved in dramatic sporting event cheers can exponentially increase the spread of the virus.

I’m not trying to say that “oh it was created in a lab by China and we should just open up and fuck the libs and their faggot masks!” I think that social protection to slow the spread of this virus is a reasonable social sacrifice. However, we have to be very aware during these times and watch for bad actors trying to institute new restrictions upon an already restricted people.
We should demand good science from our local and state governments. But we should also hold our Bill of Rights against our chest as we do it. It is our most sacred American document. Jefferson was our flawed Moses in this respect. He never freed his slaves like most of his fellow American revolutionary leaders, but he wrote some of the most freeing words in the English language. He should be judged and also praised.

I grew up in South Carolina and Bakersfield, California which are basically the same place, politically. I learned that conservative people are people. Yes, the Trump years have solidified that conservative zeal into a shield, repelling all queries from “outsiders,” and yet, the liberal flank has played into that defensive paranoia by labeling them as irreconcilable subhumans. And yes, they tend to be unaware of political correctness.

So I want a reasonable, class-conscious, idealistic approach to this pandemic. Right now we have a very postmodern President in our glorious leader, ‘man who wears a combover too long and can’t tan like his cool friends so resorts to foundation.’ Our postmodern, post-ideological president is like a white person trying to play jazz but has no feel, no soul. It is pure depravity and boredom. We know he sucks at jazz, and we have to finish the recital as the other players in the quintet attempt to cover for him.

We need a radical, gnostic re-envisioning of reality. We need to ask basic questions like: What is the purpose of reality? Is the purpose of reality just hedonism? Is it self-abnegation and asceticism? Is it getting along with our neighbors? Is it a balance of multiple values?

The true question I had to ask myself was what is my individual chief value? I found that the only way to save the world is to save your own world. And your world might be a towering inferno of destruction. Discovering your “true will,” as some people have asserted it, does not guarantee happiness. You might be happier overall, but you can go through periods of deep woe and confusion. People selling self-help are usually just drug dealers, and here I am writing a blog…

The challenge of postmodernity is not to lose all sense of value. The challenge is to buy into your own individual adventure, acknowledging its loose effect on the “objective” world. We all have a subjective ride of internal emotion and internal narrative. We also have a ride on the objective train called society and cultural norms. As Timothy Leary noted we seem to be each in our own reality tunnels, and our tunnels often collide, creating society.

This lockdown is tough. I am adhering to the basics of coronavirus prevention. I work from home. I wear a mask at the store. I disinfect my deliveries. But the strain on my mental health has been tremendous. I have to force myself to exercise and stick to healthy routines. These are my thoughts.

House of Cards

Some strange miasma
creeps round through our institutions
looming, leering
leaching good
from inside out
The catabolic yin is in our bones
It’s trumped all fight
There goes the light
What’s weak is might
Send fair corona
to the king
Throw down the crown
so we can sing
America is dead
bring swiftness made of lead
to hit the posts
and free the ghosts
so we may build again