Category: Politics

Why transitioning gender has helped me deal with the current reality

Being transgender is kinda nice in that I’ve already digested the fact that nearly everybody lies about how they care about the poor and the downtrodden. News flash: MOST people don’t care. I heard a Buddhist teacher say once that he liked to assume that things were already broken, like the teacup he was using, so that you can just enjoy what time you have with the formed thing. I’ve kinda already digested that the US is broken and won’t help me. If it does, cool!, but I’m happy just not relying on it and doing what I need to do to survive under my own steam at this point. I’m sure I’m not the only one to experience this.

It’s gonna be ok. Trauma is hard, but trauma is inescapable in life, and you can recover and grow from it. A rose bush thinks being trimmed back in the winter is traumatic, but without that trauma, it would not grow as well as is possible. Peace to you all. Shit breaks, and we put new stuff together. And really, most of the US is already dead branches that need to be pruned.

I still get overwhelmed too, but it seems easier to bounce back when your expectations are appropriate and realistic.

Change Delayed No More

We live in times
where reality is speeding up
and the people
are
still
stuck
in the muuuud
trying desperately to move! and change! with reality’s curves
but nothing moves
it can make you lose it
shaking, shocked with grief
hopeless yearning
When can
we overcome?
But here is my simple plan
The people filled with righteous fire
for justice!, equality!, liberty! all
Can bravely stand in comrades stead
And join and swing as a wrecking ball

Saying “Transwoman are Women” misses the point.

Honestly, the whole Trans Women Are Women mantra misses the point I think. Women are 2nd class citizens, so I’d rather we just stop massively bullying and marginalizing femininity? If I’m a feminine man to others, I don’t really care. I’d just like the abuse to stop when I choose to do typically feminine things. And I want that for our boys too. I don’t use a male bathroom because I don’t want to be assaulted.

I remember a story of Louis Armstrong, a black musician, where he was adopted by a Jewish family and they gave him love that he never had felt before. I feel like that with the cis-female community. I am not really one of them, but they have given me love and acceptance, so that’s why I transition. My time with the male community was filled with constant alienation and abuse.

I transitioned to be able to breathe and emote how I wanted to emote. It was an imperfect decision that has had its own set of dangers and abuses. It’s definitely hugely complicated and reducing it to commandments and slogans simplifies it way too much. Ultimately, I would MUCH rather live in a society where I could have grown up and been celebrated even if I never transitioned. Things are just so bad in our society that it was transition or suicide.

These are my thoughts today. End Gender Apartheid. We’ll still have a separation between the two because sex hormones create different perspectives, but some people need to be able to cross the line to the other side if they want to. Tear down the walls and let us be.

Why attacking Trump with Christian morality will never win

I know that it’s en vogue to use Jesus and Christianity as a means of attacking Trump, but I don’t think it will work. As an astrologer, I believe we are quickly moving into a new age, the Age of Aquarius. You probably have heard this before. Aquarius is a forward-looking, scientific, technological sign, and the evidence is all around us. However, there is one quirk of astrological ages, the opposite sign is often highlighted, and Leo is the opposite sign of Aquarius.

I believe that Leo is the foil to Aquarius’s severity and dour outlook. We can see how Rock “stars” were invented in the 20th century. The closest star is the Sun, and the Sun rules Leo. Leo is proud, self-focused, creative, and loud. I believe it unwise to fall into pearl-clutching about Trump’s materialism and disregard for Pisces-era norms. This is just the new normal. People are way over the chains of Christianity and the last millennia. And one of the things that people most like about Trump is his apparent freedom. He is free to do and say as he pleases, and the Aquarian science and modernism can’t trap him, because Leo is the foil to Aquarius. And Trump has Leo rising. He is a walking, talking Leo stereotype.

In the age of Pisces, where compassion was the chief virtue, Virgo was the release valve. When shit got too chill, puritanical Virgos reined in the party. Now, that Pisces/Virgo Spanish Inquisition nonsense is the new devil, the new thing we need to get out of our system.

We can attack Trump with Leonic verve and style. We can use art to attack Trump. We can use logic to attack Trump. But resorting to woeful, dour, and hypercritical holier-than-thouism is a dead end because the people who are criticizing Trump are just as materialistic and hedonistic as him. Nobody cares about Christian virtue anymore. This is part of the cosmic plan.

The future is proud and precise. The future is free and queer. The future is David Bowie, not Mother Theresa. Also, one more thing. Looking at reality and being overwhelmed and filled with despair is a VERY Piscean quality. It’s ok to be full of energy to change shit right now. The kids get that. Don’t tie yourself to the values of the pre-20th century world. Sitting on your pity pot and crying because 2020 is hurting you will only hurt yourself, and we need your help

Love, sex, art, and drugs to you all!

Christianity has to go, now. Islam needs to go, now. The future is here, it’s air, and it doesn’t give a shit about the old “rules.”

I was raised in a Baptist household, and my father was the minister of our church in northern California. My whole, adult life I’ve sought to make peace with this religion that never had a place for me as a doubting, queer, artistic transwoman. Recently, I’ve received that closure that I’ve been seeking, and now I know that Christianity must go. It had its time and place in a world that was marred with constant warring and fighting. Jesus sought to bring peace to the world. Buddha sought to get people to detach from their possessions. It worked.

This might sound absurd, but I know that God has moved on too. We have moved into a new age, and our old angels and devils no longer apply. The new angels are humanistic, queer, creative, experimental, and global. The new devils are mindless, blind-faith, groupthink, pity-party, co-dependent, and needy puritans. God doesn’t care if you sleep around. Rock stars are on their way to being an actual star (read: going to heaven). Drugs are great as long as you know your limits and exercise boundaries. Psychedelics can save your soul.

The great Piscean faiths (Christianity, Islam, and Buddhism) are dangerous at this point. Buddhism seems to be interested in keeping up with the times. But the first two want to go back to the middle ages. And for good reason! That was when that water spirit, mystical shit was at a peak. We think of the dark ages as this woeful period, but it was probably just super chill. However, the dark side of that super chill must be removed, and removed fast.

I come from a long line of American Baptists. My 9th great-grandfather came over in 1631 and was quickly rejected by the bootlicking Puritans in Salem for being “erroneous, heretical and obstinate.” Basically, he was into his friend and pastor Roger Williams who hated the Church of England, believed in the separation of church and state, believed that land had to be purchased from the native locals, and was an abolitionist in the 17th century. So I guess progressivism runs in the family.

Coincidentally, my last name translates as Aquarius in Latin. The US is where the Aquarian age is going to begin because we are the newest kid on the block. Every other locale is tied to belief systems that are thousands of years old.

God has spoken to me, and he said that I am saved. I have committed almost every cardinal sin. I’m transgender. I’ve gotten breast implants. I’m vain and self-promoting. I use beyond questionable language, all the time. I’ve slept around, a lot. It doesn’t matter anymore. God wants us to serve humanity as a whole. He doesn’t want us criticizing what others do in their own homes. Mistakes are fine. Atheist Humanists are great! Be original. Change often. Doggedly pursue truth. Help the weak among us if you can. Pursue scientific truth. Doubt God, but pursue divinity.

The Aquarian Age is now serving. It’s so obvious. Everything is becoming secular and humanistic because this is our next step up the ladder. Just dump the toxic Christianity or toxic Islam, and you’ll be fine. If you are a Buddhist, realize that moksha doesn’t come from sitting on your ass anymore. Active meditations are required. Get with the AIR!

God is trans and other revelations

My current revelation from the divine is that God is now trans in the Aquarian Age. Transgender, transhuman, and transforming. Uranus was castrated by Saturn, and now he’s back and that’s why queer and trans rights are exploding. I believe that 9 years ago I saw God on DXM, and I realized that transitioning would honor him or her and would be accepted by him or her.

Also Zeus/Jupiter is queer now. No more Jesus, it’s time for GayZeus! The way I can explain this is by astrological ages and other esoteric concepts, but also, I talk to them in mystical dialogue on the regular. And I see Jupiter slap my trans ass and be his queer ass self all the time because he is my personal deity. I just KNOW it’s true, but I understand the subjectivity of that evidence.

The basic, underpinning theory behind this is that God changes focus every 2,000 years or so. From Moses (~2000BCE) to Jesus/Buddha (400BCE to year zero) we were in the a Age of Aries and God was warlike and external. From Jesus to now we’ve been in the Age of Pisces, and God has been compassionate and loving. Now we are entering the Age of Aquarius and God is revolutionary, transformative, individualistic, and progressive.

Honestly this makes more sense to me than trying to do the mental gymnastics of saying that God will smite your enemies and that he also loves everyone. God has to be updated through revelations by prophets occasionally. And right now there is a new God in town, and it’s throwing society into chaos. And by God, I mean the average unconscious self of every person because God only exists inside of people.

I know this is unpopular, but it’s my truth. And really, Christianity SCREAMS Pisces mythology with the martyrdom, fish symbol, compassion, and use of wine. Moses was also very Aries. He was the action hero of prophets, going to war with the Pharaoh and leading his people on a dangerous journey. And lastly, the twentieth century saw the invention of air travel, space travel, and the internet which are massively Aquarian.

But I know astrology is an easy target for the skeptics, so I don’t know how many people I’ll convince of this. But still, God is trans! ☺️

White America is a Giant, Abusive Labor Union Benefitting Beautiful and Rich White Americans over BIPOC.

Someday, we all realize that the racism is a feature, not a bug. The system is working as designed. This thing called White American Life is a total fabrication cobbled together on the backs of a living underclass. We think as “White” people that we can bring everyone poor onto our boat, and the world will be saved! But that is a falsehood. Our privilege is derived from the destabilization of Black, Indigenous, and Persons of Color and their attempts at building thriving and supportive communities.

The reason I know this so clearly is because I used to be a “white male” and then I became a “transwoman.” I lost a shit ton of privilege. My once tolerated behaviors became “toxic” and “mentally ill.” I was shamed. Cat called. My brother disowned me, saying I would damage his children. My ex-wife went to war to keep me from my children. I am a gentle person. I am not a violent person at all. I’ve never been in a fistfight in my life. But she has gotten two restraining orders authorized using her dirty, crooked transphobic judge, Judge Smiley of Ventura County, California…barf.

I know how white bourgeoisie life as a cultural thing is paid for by genocide, generational theft, land grabbing, treaty nullifying, and just plain murder. Yeah, there are a lot of “good” white people, but they are just people. This White American thing is a giant labor union used to squeeze as much profit out of brown folks and poor caucasian peoples. I don’t want any part of it, but I can’t just leave it. It’s so pervasive and ubiquitous. How do you escape it? Just imagine for a second growing up a black male in Trump America. Just let me tell you, it FUCKING SUCKS.

IT’S AWFUL ON THE BOTTOM. YOU ALL HAVE IT SO NICE! But I really can’t even say that over the whining and pity party going on all around me. Just grow the fuck up and deal with life. Stop being children. If you want to develop spiritually, you have to give up racism and genderism. This is the new challenge. Jesus and Buddha came to show us peaceful resolutions. Now is the time to move beyond our divisions to one united people and one united world.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Yes it is the end times, but not like you think. A discussion about how Covid-19 is enabling the Age of Aquarius transition from an esoteric perspective.

(OK, I’m going to talk about Christianity here, but it is an esoteric view of Christianity, not the modern exoteric, evangelical view of Christianity.)

Yes, it is the end times but not like you think. The Age of Pisces, which started 2,000 years ago is coming to a close, and COVID-19/Donald Trump are the great change agents to initiate the second coming of Jesus Christ, but again, not like you think. Basically, the second coming of Christ is when we all have to become Christlike in order for the Age of Aquarius to begin. Through this massive exposure of the destructive nature of inequality, we have to find our inner empathy and love for our fellow beings. And we will because it is all being controlled by the fates at this point.

Yes, this is the Revelation, but the energy of Christ has spread across the globe. In the gnostic Gospel of Thomas, Jesus said “I have cast a fire upon the world, and see, I watch over it until it is ablaze.” It is now ablaze everywhere but in the power structure and much of the Christian church! These are your anti-Christs. The people have become Christlike over the last 2,000 years. And, now, we are compelled to be Christlike because of the technological power we have created. It is no longer tenable for us to not love our neighbors as ourselves. We have to become Christlike, and we are. We have to embrace the higher qualities of the sign of Pisces (love, spirituality, and peace), and get rid of the lower qualities of the sign of Pisces (escapism, self-pity, and ignorance)

At the beginning of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, we were leaving the Age of Aries (the archetype of war and selfhood), where we learned to have self-identity and to be self-defensive. Christ, Gautama Buddha, and Laozi were agents of the Age of Pisces. They were voices crying out in the wilderness, surrounded by war and strife. Laozi in the east famously started writing in the Chinese “warring states period” that ended around 200 BCE. Small states had learned to defend themselves and their statehood, but this causes massive warfare, so agents like Laozi (who was probably not a more of a movement than an actual person) rose to douse these fires with the water of the Age of Pisces. Pisces is probably the most watery of all water signs, by the way.

So, I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but people have learned to be much more peaceful in the last 2,000 years. That is why Trump is so abhorrent to so many, because we the people have integrated these lessons and see how destructive Trump is. Trump would have probably been just fine 2,000 years ago, but now, he must go for the new age to begin. Now that we have learned to have compassion and live together without constant warring, it is time for our new lesson: to learn to be accepting of our differences and form a universal world society that protects all life.

Be not afraid. This is all part of the plan. Yes, Trump is the anti-Christ, but we are the true spirit of Christ, and he will go. The evangelical church is the anti-Christ, and they will soon go. A fascinating aspects to the changeover between astrological ages is that the toxic elements of the previous age become the devil of the new age and then becomes irrelevant later on. At the start of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, the spirit of Aries (represented by a bestial Ram) was often represented in the half-man, half-goat god Pan. Interestingly, there is a myth that around 2,000 years ago, the god Pan died. Around the same time, the early Christian church made Pan their devil, because there was a need to cleanse this element from society to end the warring and internecine strife that was rampant. So now we have this notion of a red-skinned, horned, sex-obsessed devil, which is now becoming quickly irrelevant because most people do not act like this anymore.

So, the new devil of the Age of Aquarius will be a personification of that which is keeping the new age of Aquarius from beginning, namely willful ignorance, narcissism, escapism, and deceit. Likely, the new devil will be something similar to Trump or the average evangelical Christian. The new devil will be the opposite of Aquarius, the sign of science, universal brotherhood, and equality.

Most modern interpretations of the Christian book of Revelation assert that God is going to come down from the sky and send all of the sinners to hell. This is not a very good interpretation. God is within us, not without us. The end-times are happening within us. These energies are being overthrown within us. Figures like Donald Trump are trying to cling to the toxic values of the sign of Pisces, and through science, we now see how dangerous these views are. So we must work to overthrow these elements from society. This leads me to the last component of this essay, selflessness.

Yes, we must learn inner selflessness and elevate the ideals of love, equality, and peace above our desires for escapism, nihilism, and self-destruction. Although the anti-Christ is most represented in figures like Trump and modern evangelical Christians, these toxic elements live in us too, and must be removed within. I can see this beautiful spirit of Christ in the Black Lives Matter protestors putting their safety on the line to end the suffering of our fellow black, Indigenous, and persons of color (BIPOC).

Trump/COVID are the grains of sand in the oyster that will begin the pearl of the new Age of Aquarius. Embrace your inner Christ, the actual Christ, not the bastardized version of the modern interpretation of Christ. This is best represented by the beatitudes of Christ as follows. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are they who mourn. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are they who thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the pure of heart. Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are they who are persecuted. Be these things, and you have done all that you need to do. Be like Martin Luther King Jr. Be like Malcolm X. Be like Gandhi. Yes, these people were all flawed in some way, but strive like they strove. It is not your job to be perfect. It is your job to become better.

The new age is here! I know these times are scary. They are scary because we see how people like Trump must go. We see how the modern evangelical Christians must go. We see how the narcissistic anti-maskers must go. We see how those who can only think of themselves must go. COVID is here to remake society. The actions of these anti-Christs are glaringly obvious now. Work to remake your inner self and society in the image of what is just and true, and all will be well. I don’t know how it will turn out, and I don’t need to. I can see how the story is progressing, and I have trust that it will work. Trust is the key word here. Blind faith must go. Trust through science must replace it.

With love and brotherhood, peace and science be unto you all.

The Big Lie about the mental healthcare system

The Big Lie about mental healthcare in general is that mental illness is an objective dysfunction in the patient. We know from research that most mental illness is a result of toxic, traumatic, and depraved experiences over time. You might be receiving mental healthcare not because you are broken or weak but because you are too sensitive to depravity and need to become less sensitive in order to continue to work and feed yourself and your family. Your sensitivity is not dysfunction per se, but a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation.

Increasing resiliency is noble in many respects, but it can also become pathological when administered by the same agents who are meting out the depravity. If the master knows that the toxic effects of depravity can be blunted with a pill, they are probably going to want you on that pill.

True mental health is a 2-factor equation where one of the variables is your holistic adaptability to stress. There is some basic, functional level of stress response. The other factor is the amount of horror and depravity you have to endure, like working a corporate job during a pandemic, with the feds invading your city, an insane and abusive President, friends attempting suicide, and more.

If you engage with the mental health system, it is not because you are weak. It is likely because you are too sensitive for this machine that we have created called inhumane capitalism. In a way, we are compelled to become more like machines in order to service them, which has terrifying implications.

Take care of yourself. Health is always messy. Sometimes you need the narcotic to dull the pain. But sometimes you need to feel the pain in order to change the stimulus so it stops hurting you.

Social error correction and how to use it

Computer systems talk to each other over networks that are prone to failure and data loss, so computers have built-in error correction algorithms that sense when the data that the computer is receiving might be incomplete. Humans are wise to do the same. We have multiple peer verification systems like peer review. This operates also on the individual level. We reserve judgment until we can get a “second opinion” or a third.

It is important to remember that communication is inherently incomplete. As computers get more and more able to fool the viewer, we should increase our emphasis on skepticism and error correction. The whole “Russia-gate” thing was really an exercise in error detection and error correction. There are massive networks of bots out there spamming on social media. But there are also massive networks of real people, screaming for justice.

When we transitioned from the migratory band of hominids to the multi-million person city, we lost the ability to trust in many ways. When one is surrounded by only one’s known friends, one does not have to negotiate every transaction. You know that your friends will protect you when you are weak. You don’t have to file paperwork to defend it.

But now we enter into the age of mass-everything. You don’t know your DMV worker. They don’t know you. So you rely on codified and universal rules to communicate with them. I don’t think we have yet really found a new equilibrium for this new type of relationship.

This new relationship of the one and the abstract other is new. We are still trying to figure out how to move from the village to the cosmopolitan existence. The ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes was the first to use the term cosmopolitan. He meant it in the literal sense: a citizen of the cosmos. So this idea is not new.

Hopefully, as we transition further into the Aquarian idea of the individual in a sea of other individuals, we can reach a broad consensus on what universalities we need to be a stable society. I don’t know what those are, but I think they are coming.

How Privilege Makes White People Immature and Helpless

We often talk about “white privilege” and it tends to be discussed in terms of having stuff. “That person has white privilege,” we say. “That other person has male privilege.” But what does that mean?

To me, privilege is not a positive but a negative, or a lack of something. When one has white privilege they have freedom from something. They have freedom from trauma, pain, hardship, toil, etc. When one is protected from the mandatory hardships of life for which one has evolved to deal with, they become puerile and childlike. Their skin becomes thin. They cannot handle the smallest slight. They are weak and become dependent on protection from the necessary traumas of life. This is why those white men carry those rifles around, because they are weak and terrified of having to deal with life naked and undefended.

But what is the converse of privilege? I would assert that it is a surplus of hardship and challenge. It is a excess of the onslaught of reality with its slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. This tends to make one’s skin thicker and makes one tougher.

And so, if you want to be honest, whiteness has become synonymous with weakness, and thus the entire apparatus of the state becomes necessary to maintain protection from the normal, average trials which befall any person living on this planet.

White culture and the western nation-state steals the defenses and padding of the brown people of this world and wraps it around the light-skinned people it protects. If you start to think of white people as immature and childlike, you can quickly see and hear it when you look at and listen to them.

As I’ve transitioned from being a white male to a white transwoman, I’ve had to experience a rude awakening of what it’s really like to live without that stolen armor. This rude awakening, that I sought to put off for as long as possible by posing as a straight white male, hit my weak, thin-skinned ass with a vengeance, and I was paralyzed at first.

But my skin grew. My toughness increased. Now, I can’t say that I know what it’s like to be black, but I know what it’s like to be targeted for who I am from as soon as I entered elementary school. I know what it’s like for others to hate things in you that you are not even aware of yet. And I know what it’s like to lose a significant amount of privilege.

And yet, don’t be afraid of losing privilege. Living in the false world of stolen armor is not real, and it stunts development in many ways. The transition to a normal amount of privilege can be shocking at first, but then you realize your inner strength, and you begin to realize that life is not about hiding behind wealth and privilege. Life is about meeting life on life’s bare terms.

To quote a brown-skinned Judean named Jesus, “if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor.” I interpret this as if you want to really grow, you need to cast your privilege aside.

And also, Krishna of the Hindu pantheon said to privileged Arjuna in the Baghavad Gita: “yield not to weakness; it does not suit you. Throw away this faint-heartedness.” Meaning that one must meet life without fear and without protection and cowardice.

Only through letting go of privilege can one really be alive. Words will not make one alive. One cannot say “I understand that I am privileged,” and expect the situation to resolve itself. One should give up one’s privilege. This is the only path of truth. Change the system from within by giving up your pilfered wealth that was likely funneled through the generations from slave-created surplus. You will survive, and you will be a real human, not a child in a shell.

The problem we face today is not a black problem. The problem is a white problem. Until we recognize our theft, our appropriation of defenses, our heinous usage of black bodies as human shields against the hurricane of nature, we will not grow, and we will not be mature. We will be on average, pathetic sprouts, unable to grow into the trees we were born to be.

Personally, my life is so much richer after I gave up most of my male privilege. It is immeasurably harder, but it is more vital and real. And I ask that you do the same. I can’t change my skin color. I am stuck being white. So the only way for me to reduce my so-called white privilege is to dismantle the institutions that value whiteness over blackness. This takes work. This takes sacrifice. But I assure you that it will be worth it both for black people and for white people.

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Thoughts on society inspired by the COVID19 lockdown

I’ve been thinking and cogitating all day and making enemies while so doing, and I would like to have some fruit from that tree of discord, but I don’t know. I don’t know if I can even think rationally in this situation. I try and use my normal methods of understanding the world, and right now they just result in collapsed rage and explosive paranoia, speaking poetically.

I don’t like handing over my civil rights to our glorious leaders, and I also don’t like being slandered as a Trumper and enemy of the people. However, I am just asking questions, possibly dangerous ones I must cede. But what is a dangerous question? Do people end up in fascist Candyland because of dangerous questions?

I choose not to endorse a tribe in the dualistic split in the modern American states. But I do endorse proven science. However, the science on COVID-19 is still experimental. It has only been around for 5 months or so, and we don’t really understand the virus epidemiologically outside of the facts that it kills a lot of old people and some healthy people. It’s not the flu in that the flu usually is just an opportunistic organism, i.e. it usually kills people whose immune systems are close to failing already.

We don’t know how COVID-19 is spread outside of that it is communicable by close contact. We have not proven it spreads on surfaces. We have proven it spreads sexually. We know it spreads through aerosols, water/particulate matter that floats in the air. We know that lots of exhalations like those involved in dramatic sporting event cheers can exponentially increase the spread of the virus.

I’m not trying to say that “oh it was created in a lab by China and we should just open up and fuck the libs and their faggot masks!” I think that social protection to slow the spread of this virus is a reasonable social sacrifice. However, we have to be very aware during these times and watch for bad actors trying to institute new restrictions upon an already restricted people.
We should demand good science from our local and state governments. But we should also hold our Bill of Rights against our chest as we do it. It is our most sacred American document. Jefferson was our flawed Moses in this respect. He never freed his slaves like most of his fellow American revolutionary leaders, but he wrote some of the most freeing words in the English language. He should be judged and also praised.

I grew up in South Carolina and Bakersfield, California which are basically the same place, politically. I learned that conservative people are people. Yes, the Trump years have solidified that conservative zeal into a shield, repelling all queries from “outsiders,” and yet, the liberal flank has played into that defensive paranoia by labeling them as irreconcilable subhumans. And yes, they tend to be unaware of political correctness.

So I want a reasonable, class-conscious, idealistic approach to this pandemic. Right now we have a very postmodern President in our glorious leader, ‘man who wears a combover too long and can’t tan like his cool friends so resorts to foundation.’ Our postmodern, post-ideological president is like a white person trying to play jazz but has no feel, no soul. It is pure depravity and boredom. We know he sucks at jazz, and we have to finish the recital as the other players in the quintet attempt to cover for him.

We need a radical, gnostic re-envisioning of reality. We need to ask basic questions like: What is the purpose of reality? Is the purpose of reality just hedonism? Is it self-abnegation and asceticism? Is it getting along with our neighbors? Is it a balance of multiple values?

The true question I had to ask myself was what is my individual chief value? I found that the only way to save the world is to save your own world. And your world might be a towering inferno of destruction. Discovering your “true will,” as some people have asserted it, does not guarantee happiness. You might be happier overall, but you can go through periods of deep woe and confusion. People selling self-help are usually just drug dealers, and here I am writing a blog…

The challenge of postmodernity is not to lose all sense of value. The challenge is to buy into your own individual adventure, acknowledging its loose effect on the “objective” world. We all have a subjective ride of internal emotion and internal narrative. We also have a ride on the objective train called society and cultural norms. As Timothy Leary noted we seem to be each in our own reality tunnels, and our tunnels often collide, creating society.

This lockdown is tough. I am adhering to the basics of coronavirus prevention. I work from home. I wear a mask at the store. I disinfect my deliveries. But the strain on my mental health has been tremendous. I have to force myself to exercise and stick to healthy routines. These are my thoughts.