We live in times
where reality is speeding up
and the people
in the muuuud
trying desperately to move! and change! with reality’s curves
but nothing moves
it can make you lose it
shaking, shocked with grief
But here is my simple plan
The people filled with righteous fire
for justice!, equality!, liberty! all
Can bravely stand in comrades stead
And join and swing as a wrecking ball
We live in times
Someday, we all realize that the racism is a feature, not a bug. The system is working as designed. This thing called White American Life is a total fabrication cobbled together on the backs of a living underclass. We think as “White” people that we can bring everyone poor onto our boat, and the world will be saved! But that is a falsehood. Our privilege is derived from the destabilization of Black, Indigenous, and Persons of Color and their attempts at building thriving and supportive communities.
The reason I know this so clearly is because I used to be a “white male” and then I became a “transwoman.” I lost a shit ton of privilege. My once tolerated behaviors became “toxic” and “mentally ill.” I was shamed. Cat called. My brother disowned me, saying I would damage his children. My ex-wife went to war to keep me from my children. I am a gentle person. I am not a violent person at all. I’ve never been in a fistfight in my life. But she has gotten two restraining orders authorized using her dirty, crooked transphobic judge, Judge Smiley of Ventura County, California…barf.
I know how white bourgeoisie life as a cultural thing is paid for by genocide, generational theft, land grabbing, treaty nullifying, and just plain murder. Yeah, there are a lot of “good” white people, but they are just people. This White American thing is a giant labor union used to squeeze as much profit out of brown folks and poor caucasian peoples. I don’t want any part of it, but I can’t just leave it. It’s so pervasive and ubiquitous. How do you escape it? Just imagine for a second growing up a black male in Trump America. Just let me tell you, it FUCKING SUCKS.
IT’S AWFUL ON THE BOTTOM. YOU ALL HAVE IT SO NICE! But I really can’t even say that over the whining and pity party going on all around me. Just grow the fuck up and deal with life. Stop being children. If you want to develop spiritually, you have to give up racism and genderism. This is the new challenge. Jesus and Buddha came to show us peaceful resolutions. Now is the time to move beyond our divisions to one united people and one united world.
That’s all I have to say about that.
Some strange miasma
creeps round through our institutions
from inside out
The catabolic yin is in our bones
It’s trumped all fight
There goes the light
What’s weak is might
Send fair corona
to the king
Throw down the crown
so we can sing
America is dead
bring swiftness made of lead
to hit the posts
and free the ghosts
so we may build again
The reason why we need social distancing is not “WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!” The reason we need it is because the hospitals will be overwhelmed with thousands of patients that they cannot care for, and so everyone else will be without medical services as well. People die all the time. We take risks in life for money, love, or other values. So yeah, we don’t really care that thousands of people die of the flu every year because our system can process those people. Thousands of people die in car accidents, but our system can process them.
Can we have some nuance with this instead of yelling at “the other team,” with simplistic arguments where one side is a mass-murdering psychopath killing grandma and the other side is the valiant, cloistered introvert “saving the world” by not leaving their apartment. No one is pure. We all participate in this system.
The other argument is how much death we ignore in the name of profits. That’s a separate problem, and I think we as a nation, have a very poor track record of not killing people.
Oh and lastly, we have no fucking clue who’s infected. Many people get very minor infections and don’t notice it. They can’t get tested. Only the most severe are getting tested, and it’s been in the US since January. Some experts think there are actually hundreds of thousands of people infected at present. We need to be calm because the situation is very fluid and confusing.
Love to you all. Stay strong.
So many lies. Drowning in lies. Gaslight nation. The only way to live in this deluge of mendacity is to find your truth and walk that truth forward. Making enemies in the service of truth is honor. Just ask yourself: what would America be without slavery, without indigenous land theft, without Jim Crow, without mass incarceration, without a few million dead Iraqis, Vietnamese, Afghanis? Can we speak these truths that are self-evident to the highest power?
I think the house of cards crumbles if you remove that stolen fuel. And what are we doing with that stolen wealth? Squandering it with navel-gazing, hedonistic decadence. You can’t get high forever. Eventually the party is over. I’m lucky because I lost everything. This country made me into a pariah. I could not have my inner freedom without outer suffering. Through torture I have been saved. And not saved like Joel Osteen saying that I’m saved on national TV. That’s just cosplay saved.
Listen to the suffering of others and you will see the mother of all love, the goddess of all compassion. Then you will be saved because you have deep compassion for yourself. Laugh at the seriosity of America. This is not the only way to run a country. I know it gets beaten into our heads from age 2 that we are the most advanced form of government in the world. Do we even want to be advanced? Where is the love? Where is the community? Where is the outrage that our family members are sleeping in the freezing cold on concrete? Your heart will tell you the truth of that situation if you listen.
Truth requires love and love requires truth. I have every reason plus twenty to have hate in my heart, but I just wanted to destroy myself when I harbored hate in my heart. I just gave it up. What Christians call the holy spirit came down and said “you’ll never know if you’re going to survive, you’ll always feel pain, you’ll suffer, but I’ll be there with you.” And so something stopped in me. I believe in Christ but I’m not a Christian. Turn the other cheek on the inside. Let them win. For in losing, you gain a peace that surpasses all understanding. They gain some green paper. You gain your soul.
The Cult of White Supremacy in the US
My realization that I was what society calls transgender was really a self-rediscovery. People like to say that things about ourselves can be hidden or buried, but often, they can be right in front of our noses, and we just get very, very good at self-denial and self-delusion because the acknowledgment of the thing is too painful or scary.
I discovered that I was born a feminine boy and then around age 5, I learned to be something that I was not, and it slowly killed me until my 30s when I gave up the false notion of myself. My mind was blown by the fact that I had completely forgotten something about myself out of fear of being ostracized.
Now, as I ponder the American problem, I see something right in front of my face that I now can’t unsee. White America tends to tell fairy tales about how happy and fulfilled they are, but if you are sensitive enough, you can see behind the masks of the average American to see how contrived and false this happy facade really is.
In cults, there is a strong tendency in the members to project a vision of perfection. I once read Kate Bornstein’s biography about being a member of the Scientology Sea Org as a repressed transwoman, and she said that everyone always let everyone else know how perfect and happy they were because anything less would be a personal failure. When a cult has stripped you of all of your other attachments in life, humans find themselves lying to not lose favor with the only attachment they have left, the cult itself.
I see this in American white culture. It’s true that some brown people have been integrated into the white power structure, but caucasian and Christian people are the primary administrators of American culture and standards of behavior to this day. And whiteness appears to be a cult.
Most white people are obsessed with projecting an image of perfect self-satisfaction and competence. But this is a passively aggressive lie meant to denigrate whomever you are talking to. White culture is the cult of dominating others. When your God is money and power, showering another person with all of your “successes” is a dominating act of aggression. The fact that no member of this cult wants to admit is that these “successes” are arbitrarily chosen. They work very hard creating models and theories to “prove” that the values of the cult of white supremacy are necessary and essential. When someone totally ignores these values and lives their life in a way counter to these values, a strong feeling of resentment builds up in the white cult member.
Now, for example, when a black man or woman doesn’t do this contrived activity of smiling and projecting utterly saccharine chipperness, they are labeled as angry. This is because the white cult member is threatened by this lack of participation. The black person is subliminally saying to the white cult member, in the cult member’s head, that the cult member is full of shit. Just by having a neutral facial expression, the black person is a threat to the white cult member. Denial needs to be fed constantly to overcome the everpresent thing trying to be denied, and anyone who challenges the basic tenets of the cult of white supremacy needs to either be silenced or explained away as insane.
What do you think?
You don’t understand! Greta’s parents are liberals too!! She’s obviously brainwashed by the hidden, Soros funded elites! She even has these people called teachers who help her understand things! How can you idiots be so stupid as to listen to her well-articulated and science backed argument when there’s all these other factors like the fact that she looks like an Aryan Nazi youth because she has braids and she’s white. She has braids and she’s white!!
I bet she doesn’t even have a job like all the other antifa libs draining the resources of “parents.” I know that she’s not thinking for herself because my daughters were not capable of this kind of thing at 16. They were out getting pregnant like God intended! And they’re just rolling her out so that you can’t disagree with her well-reasoned argument because she’s a helpless, retarded child who paradoxically shuts down Republican congressmen when speaking for herself at a hearing. It’s called pedophrasty. That word is not in the dictionary, but I saw it in a meme whose author I already agreed with. I saw. it. in. a. meme. Checkmate.
A broken clock is right three times a day! I mean two. I think. Fucking chemtrails are the reason I made that mistake right now. Someday you’ll wake up to the truth and not the Antifa lies! Btw, did you see the picture where she’s wearing a shirt that says she’s anti-fascist? That just proves she’s a total fascist.
So in conclusion, I’m a scared white male who doesn’t want to lose his tiny scrap of a scrap of self-respect, so I’m attacking a small child who threatens me. Also, I have no self-respect because when Greta was educating herself about how destructive climate change will be to humanity, I was shopping online for stickers of guns to put on my truck and watching the 976th meaningless football game of my life. I have no ability to argue against greenhouse gas theory, so it’s easier if I just send code to other scared and intellectually defenseless dude-bros in meme form. I mean why even learn climate science or science in general? Yeah, I’d rather keep my brain, thank you very much.
I feel great fear across the land
and with no gods to hold their hands
they quiver with their lattes
grasping games, like falling sand
looking for another fix
to make reality go nix
the Disney version isn’t true
so their vision is unglued
and with decadence unfurled
we’ve been the luckiest in the world
Bold America is lost
in precious nihilism’s sauce
in order to be strong
you have to recognize
your weakness yes
but also learn to fight with verve
against usurpers, fiends, and cons
not make ironic jokes go on
I think of fair Arjuna
crowing how he couldn’t fight
and Krishna with his cold derision
naming him a feckless child
The promise of America the brave
the land of milk and honey’s ways
it always was
but now our cynicism swirls around our necks
and good old boys are standing there on deck
Life is beautiful transcendence and some dreck
Get up, stand up, put the fascists into check
Everything seems crazy right now unless you realize that technology and the internet is shaking the establishment to its core, and the establishment is freaking out as a result. Because the establishment has tendrils into so much of our government-media-military complex, you are witnessing a giant freakout as the clothes of the pseudo-emperors are exposed as non-existent.
What are they doing as a result in real-world terms? Supporting a clown as president even though they know it is wrong and forgoing any semblance of ethical behavior. It is sad to see people exposed so deeply, but they are getting exposed at a very quick rate.
This carnage won’t likely be over until 2024 or so by my estimates based on various methods, but it will end. The old, decrepit growth is being broken down and tilled over. You may not see it now, but the children are shocked by their elders’ behavior. A change is gonna come, and it’s gonna come quick.
So, if you’re supporting the right-wing as it is, you’re the bird who was telling the dinosaurs “it’s just a regular asteroid, no worries. It’s just a permanent winter, no worries. Arby’s will be open in no time!” The old carapace is being shed. We all should welcome this natural death.
This isn’t to say that we should stop fighting and just let them die. No, we are the asteroid. They are the Arby’s loving dinosaurs.
they let it fall
in stars and bars
the monster maimed
by Minhs and Ladens
tumbled to the ground
Watch the cruel young sacrifice
the states united under Christ
find love in murder appetites
the end of hedonism’s brawl
the zombies wandering the malls
the thoughts of normalcy controlled
they dive inside delusion’s hall
they let it fall
in stars and bars
the post-apocalyptic waste is now
but no one knows beyond the fun
how best to think of life and guns
they’ve lost and corporations’ve won
ding dong ding dong
love live the lexicon
some of us are separate
and some of us are one
let us mix and bathe and hug
in goddess minded peace
and Leo hearted love
I know where the place is
waking up the same shit
hatred is the gun clip
you know what a slave is?
scared of all the bank crips
gangs in ivy school pics
using cops as tool kits
to enforce the law that’s
chasing all the brown cats
and the queers and trans brats
we know where the shit’s at
somewhere one percent land
go get, the torches, and pitchforks
take them, to wall street, in New York.
I used to be a very “troubled” person. From the time I was 15 until about 36 years old, I had a consistent “mental health problem.” In January of 2016, I found my answer, and it was the culmination of a good deal of study, practice, and opening up. I found my peace, and I think that others can find that same peace, although it might require losing something to gain it.
My peace came by letting go of a “perfect life” or “perfect health.” I had to let go of my expectations and truly accept what was happening in my life. I have not just “given up” if that’s what you are inferring. I am still striving for my goals, but when things don’t go as planned, it’s not really my fault, and I don’t beat myself up. The universe seems to be hard on purpose, and although I sometimes feel anxiety or anger, I am learning to have peace with this reality.
If you go to the gym, and you leave feeling sore, you don’t see that soreness as a failure. That was the whole point of going. Likewise, with your life, if you get beat up, that’s the point. This life is training or school for some higher place. We enter as little children, and through our struggle and adversity, we become spiritual adults. If you went to the gym and your trainer only put the tiniest weights on the machine, and you never broke a sweat, you’d want your money back. But when life makes us sweat, we cry that it’s totally unfair!
In modern society, we are obsessed with perfection, usually material perfection. We have created multi-billion dollar industries to give us the illusion of perfection on giant screens. But also, we seem to be constantly let down by that perfection. There is an everpresent juxtaposition of both the attempt at perfection and the revelation of human fallibility. It seems that the more “perfect” some person seems, the more jarring it is when they are revealed to be a human with flaws like everyone else.
I am not sure that everyone is capable of undergoing the spiritual evolution and rebirth that I did. To be honest, events in my life were so bad that I was forced to go deep and cut out parts of my psyche in a valiant attempt at regaining sanity. Being transgender confronted me with a ton of rejection, and so it was easy for me to cut out institutions and modes of thought that were outdated. They kicked me out, so I had to find new answers.
I could go through a “Top Ten Ways I Found Spiritual Fulfillment!!” clickbait style list, but I won’t here. The path that can be described is not the true path. Everyone has their own path for their own starting point on the giant spiral staircase of life. The one key that is utterly important is spiritual hunger. This is why Jesus said “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” In other words, if you are hungry for spiritual philosophy, you will find your rebirth and see peace.
We all have to make basic assumptions about life and reality. Most of us in the Western world assume that life can be perfected here on Earth with enough technology and smart intellectuals telling us what to do. I’m not saying that technology and intellectuals are bad, but I do not assume that we can perfect this world. I believe that there is some chaotic constant that continually throws a wrench into whatever we’re doing so that we can be challenged. I see life, not as some playground for humanity but more of a boot camp for humanity before we graduate into the “real world” on the higher plane.
I am not exempt from this challenging force that I call the chaotic constant. Even though I have had certain experiences that have freed me from many of the anxieties and neuroses of my youth, I will continue to grow as long as I’m in this world. I’ve just found how to let go and be accepting of what happens. This required a LOT of training mostly in the form of meditation but also finding the right psychedelic medications. Meditation is the practice of ignoring your brain. You sit and your brain yells “Do What I Tell You!” and you ignore it. Slowly, that voice learns that you won’t be pushed around, and it calms down, but this takes time. Psychedelics show you perspectives that are hard to get in the everyday world so that you can check yourself.
May you find the small measure of peace that I have found in my heart. If you are interested in additional information in this respect, leave me a comment, and we can dialogue about it. I learn by teaching, so I would love to work with you.
To close, think about what you expect out of your life. Is it a realistic expectation? How does it make you feel if you think about not getting what you expect out of life? Does it trouble you? If you can handle “failing” in this life, you might just lose that persistent anxiety that walks around with you. If we love what we get instead of get angry about what we don’t get, we might live lives of gratitude instead of resentment, peace instead of self-loathing.