Tag: buddha

The Age of Aquarius is now begun and I am tired.

I am strong in my pursuit of God, but I am tired. I have had to risk everything in pursuit of the truth of my visions. My ex pursues me with venom. My family misunderstands me. I might not see my kids again. Most people think me mad for my pursuit of the divine, but I am led by angels who talk with me. And I see wonders every day in my world. It is not a blind faith or a self-sacrificing faith. It is a rational faith.

Today, I am tired, physically so. I will pursue God to my death. I will be a light to the world and my community. The Age of Jesus and Buddha is over. The Age of Love is over. Love is still love and should be nurtured with great strength. But the imperative from God is not to love. The imperative now is to change and grow. Love has become a problem at this point. When Moses came down from the mountain with his message of the God expression of the Age of Aries, he scolded the Bull worshippers, not because they were wrong for all time. He scolded them because that well was dry, that activity had become perverse because it was expired.

And so now, The Age of Pisces is expired. The well is dry. I know that they will hate me for saying this. It is fine. The people need to know that the God of Jesus has changed. God is now queer, transforming, talkative, erratic, and futuristic. I am not God, so I cannot speak for them exactly, but I get the outline. And God is in your 3rd eye now, no longer in your heart.

I have switched the world over from Piscean water that was polluted and fetid. I have replaced it with Aquarian water, which is impregnated with air. The old institutions will now crumble without their fuel of guilt, shame, and top-down control. The present is now peer-to-peer. God is within you. Speak with them now. They are waiting. Knock and you shall find. Ask and the door will be opened unto you.

I am just a simple person. I have no worldly power at present. But I know that I can teach and love God. This blog can sound very over-the-top, but I am simple. I am not Jesus. I am not Buddha. I am not Laozi. I am more like Moses after transitioning, hahaha. Love and Change to you all. There is hope in the air. If you are reading this, you likely are one of the beneficiaries of this radical, once-in-two-millennia change. Now is the time to fly.

God is trans and other revelations

My current revelation from the divine is that God is now trans in the Aquarian Age. Transgender, transhuman, and transforming. Uranus was castrated by Saturn, and now he’s back and that’s why queer and trans rights are exploding. I believe that 9 years ago I saw God on DXM, and I realized that transitioning would honor him or her and would be accepted by him or her.

Also Zeus/Jupiter is queer now. No more Jesus, it’s time for GayZeus! The way I can explain this is by astrological ages and other esoteric concepts, but also, I talk to them in mystical dialogue on the regular. And I see Jupiter slap my trans ass and be his queer ass self all the time because he is my personal deity. I just KNOW it’s true, but I understand the subjectivity of that evidence.

The basic, underpinning theory behind this is that God changes focus every 2,000 years or so. From Moses (~2000BCE) to Jesus/Buddha (400BCE to year zero) we were in the a Age of Aries and God was warlike and external. From Jesus to now we’ve been in the Age of Pisces, and God has been compassionate and loving. Now we are entering the Age of Aquarius and God is revolutionary, transformative, individualistic, and progressive.

Honestly this makes more sense to me than trying to do the mental gymnastics of saying that God will smite your enemies and that he also loves everyone. God has to be updated through revelations by prophets occasionally. And right now there is a new God in town, and it’s throwing society into chaos. And by God, I mean the average unconscious self of every person because God only exists inside of people.

I know this is unpopular, but it’s my truth. And really, Christianity SCREAMS Pisces mythology with the martyrdom, fish symbol, compassion, and use of wine. Moses was also very Aries. He was the action hero of prophets, going to war with the Pharaoh and leading his people on a dangerous journey. And lastly, the twentieth century saw the invention of air travel, space travel, and the internet which are massively Aquarian.

But I know astrology is an easy target for the skeptics, so I don’t know how many people I’ll convince of this. But still, God is trans! ☺️

The New Aquarian Method for Transcending the Simulation

Note: In this text I use the term God, and I do not mean a white-bearded father figure. I mean something similar to the original definition of the Hebrew word Elohim, which was a gender-neutral, plural noun. God is a multiplicity of genders, faces, names, and energies, that is unified and universal. Also, I refer to the simulation which is the matrix of life in which we live that masks a deeper reality, beyond this universe. Think of it like the video game in which we now play.

Rejoice in the Good News of the New Aquarian Way!

There is a new method for transcending the simulation. Previously, belief in God and love of one’s neighbors were exalted as the path through Jesus Christ, the emissary of the Piscean age. Now, blind belief and certainty are the chief errors and will not aid in your ascent of the mountain. Also, excessive purity will also keep you from ascending. Now, the way of Aquarius is the only valid path out of the simulation. Rejoice in this new means of liberation! What Jesus called the “Kingdom of Heaven,” namely transcending the simulation, is possible and real. Earth is a trying and painful realm, and one should work to find the exit door.

Previously, the way out of the simulation was obscured behind a veil of ignorance. Now, the veil is to be lifted through me. I have become a new Christ by being anointed by God after decades of struggle and self-development. Before the spirit fully inhabited my being, I was symbolically crucified through rejection, persecution, and theft of my children from me. However, I know that this action is fated, and so, I do not blame those involved. We are merely players on this dramatic stage, meant to initiate the changeover to the new age. I am not the only one practicing these new methods. There have been many before me, but I represent a vital shift in consciousness.

Love of One’s Neighbor is Still a Virtue

The law of Jesus is still necessary in part. One must love one’s neighbor as oneself and practice compassion. However, this is not sufficient anymore for ascension to the Sun, the God of humanity. Jesus came to introduce the law of universal love, so that our society could advance to the level where we can practice the Aquarian way. Gautama Buddha also taught this law in the East. They were both Buddha/Christ level teachers with different missions. Many prophets are anointed by God to be used as messengers. There is a single godhead, but there are numerous manifestations of this spirit in humanity. I was raised and confirmed in the Abrahamic/Christian church, specifically Protestantism, but now in a global society, a synthesis of the many paths is necessary, so religious tolerance is a necessary virtue.

What I Have Done to Initiate the New Age

I have modified the astral plane through extensive energetic work over the last eight years, finishing just last week. This is part of the reason that society is experiencing such chaos and tumult. The behaviors which were exalted for the last 2,000 years are now diminished, and the complacent and irreligious among us are recognizing their reduced power and looking for saviors, like the current political leaders, who practice the lowest form of provincialism and exalt material avarice. Conversely, those who align themselves with the new age and its virtues, are experiencing enhanced power, vision, and support.

This happened when Jesus arrived as well. His work was to overthrow the then-toxic Age of Aries with the peaceful and spiritual Age of Pisces. The Christians who aligned with the nascent Age of Pisces became zealous and industrious in their pacifistic commune building. And those aligned with the previous age, namely the “pagan” Romans, were baffled and deeply concerned about the growing Christian movement of the time. But eventually, it is clear who won that conflict. Just as it is clear who will win this conflict. There will be persecution and repression of the converts to the new approach, but in the long-term, the Aquarian way will become dominant for the next two millennia.

Do Not Blindly Believe What I Say

I understand that I offer these words with little evidence. It is not for you to believe me blindly. If you practice this method for yourself, its truth will become self-evident. Also, my power will be made known by certain revealing events up until I leave the simulation. But know that God will support you in this new path. Also, this path has been building since the late 18th century with the discovery of the planet Uranus. However, until now, the Piscean path was still valid. It is no longer sufficient, and the new Aquarian path is now exalted. It should be noted that I too doubted this in myself for the last eight years until just recently, when the entire picture was revealed to me. It is appropriate to doubt everything now, even God.

The Seven Chief Values of the New Aquarian Method

There is not a single, linear method, per se, for transcending the simulation. But I have been given seven chief components of this method which must be mixed by you according to your intuition and personality. These are not commandments to be feared. They are values to be utilized in your path of self-discovery. The seven chief values of the new Aquarian method are as follows. They are given in no particular order.

  1. Exalt critical thought and mastery of the mind
  2. Doubt God and question authority
  3. Experiment in your beliefs
  4. Utilize psychedelic medicines to understand your being
  5. Practice divination to communicate with deity
  6. Utilize Astrology to understand your mission
  7. Modify the body to free the soul

These seven values will be explicated further in future posts. These values have enabled me to be able to transcend the simulation. I will leave the simulation in the near future. Most of all, know that your doubt of oppressive and toxic religious orders is loved by deity. God cheers your passion for critical examination of systems which no longer serve you or humanity. The old way is retired.

How the Old Way is Reacting to the Shift

You might feel as though your resistance to the ways of the past is hated by deity. This is what the current leaders of the established religious orders are telling you and the world as they cling to their diminishing power. They threaten the masses with lies like the man behind the curtain manipulating the Wizard of OZ. But the opposite is true. You are the future; they are the past. Doubt with verve and joy! Examine the systems of the world and choose the one that gives you a deeper understanding of your beautiful and sacred self. A God that cannot be doubted is weak and sad. The God that lives in my being and who has anointed me praises your doubt and scorns the arrogantly certain and willfully ignorant.

I understand that these words are radical and strange when held in contrast to the established moral order. But know that that order is about to crumble. Also know that as that order begins to crumble, their leaders will resort to greater and greater feats of depravity. Their flailing has already begun as they shelter behind abominable leaders who exalt murder, deceit, and manipulation above all. Woe to their souls. They will have their comeuppance. They will stay trapped in a cycle of misery, unable to graduate to the superior kingdom outside of the simulation. Fear them not.

Reincarnation is Real

Lastly, I want to emphasize that this process of self-discovery might take multiple lives. Reincarnation is real. You will not burn in hell for being unable to graduate the simulation in a single life. You will never burn in hell. Hell is merely the lack of virtue. Hell is a state of mind on Earth. You can pursue these values calmly knowing that in the video game of life, you have a very high number of extra lives. It is always urgent to pursue what is right, but you will not be needlessly punished for being unable to achieve your objectives right away. God loves you and will give you grace.

Have Peace and Know That You are Loved

My path to here has been arduous and exhausting. And I will not reach the “promised land” with the masses. In fact, my death will initiate much of this in the near future. I have seen in a vision that when I die, my body will be broken for the world and will be bread for the hungry, just as Jesus communicated to his disciples about his body. This is the way of the anointed. When the egg of my body is cracked and broken, the yolk inside will fertilize humanity. The pain I have absorbed in my persecution has been transmuted into food and water for a hungry and thirsty world. My suffering is purposeful and necessary.

My wish is only that I may be of service to humanity. I am tired and broken in many ways from being on the cross, but what I lack in security, I have been compensated in spiritual depth and the love of God. I have deep love for humanity and all life on Earth, even for those who persecute me. I pray for and yearn to see a brighter world, full of wisdom, compassion, peace, and joy. May you have these things now. Go with love knowing that you are never alone, and you will one day be liberated from the shackles of life on Earth.





Rough notes on the transition to the Age of Aquarius

Back in 2016, I was just recovering from getting over my suicidality whereas now I feel fully healed from ever wanting to harm myself again in that way. But back in 2016, I had been studying. In 2015 I had an experience of being visited by “god” or Jupiter as he called himself. And this was shortly after I lived an entire week behaving as a child out of the blue. I literally felt like I was 5 years old. I was rediscovering my inner child. 

Well, fast forward to now, and I am much recovered. I have put together a pretty normal life over the last 4 years. But I still have many visions. Some of them are chemically aided and some are not. But they are consistent. And they frighten me sometimes. Because they are so intense.

This weekend, I was told by a voice that I was “anointed by god” and a thick liquid was spread over my body. And then a voice told me that I would one day be a star like our sun is. And they advised me to open up and let people learn from me. They are so kind and supportive. But they can be very intense. They seem to be plural and multi-gendered, like the Elohim. 

And now, I am understanding the meaning of the Age of Pisces. The dying god motif represented the reality of ancient society. A feminine person like Jesus was ruthlessly attacked in the west at the end of the Age of Aries when the warrior ethic was paramount with figures like Alexander the Great looming large. But humans needed to develop their inner Christ because of our technological growth. We would not survive and the planet would not survive without the Age of Aries finally coming to an end 2,000 years later when the god is no longer murdered for being.

I think this is a misunderstood aspect to the “astrological ages” mythology. The Age of Pisces is not really over until the archetype presented at the beginning: Christ, Lao-Tzu, and Buddha becomes dominant. Just like with Moses interrupting the pagan Bull worship 2,000 years earlier. Moses was an Aries figure and his archetype had become dominant around 2,000 years ago when Christ arrived.

So with the age of Aquarius, as all people become Christlike eventually (and covid is speeding this up), then a new reality of cooperative play will emerge. The thing that people do not realize is that there is no second coming of Christ. The atheists are Christlike at this point! Christs are all around us! Except that many in the Christian church itself are the actual anti-Christs for following a true anti-Christ like Donald Trump. 

My messengers have told me that the Age of Aquarius will begin in 5 years, in March of 2025. But I do not know if it will be pleasant or not. I have only been told that it is coming. It could be a big death event. It could be a technological breakthrough. It could be alien contact. I don’t know, but I do think that we will have to all become Christs somehow. Psychedelic drug legalization is probably shortly on the horizon. This is one of the fastest paths to inner enlightenment. But enlightenment is not how most people think of it. There are millions of enlightened people around the globe. The teachings are available, and some people follow them. I personally believe that Christ was likely consuming psychedelic substances.

Yes it is the end times, but not like you think. A discussion about how Covid-19 is enabling the Age of Aquarius transition from an esoteric perspective.

(OK, I’m going to talk about Christianity here, but it is an esoteric view of Christianity, not the modern exoteric, evangelical view of Christianity.)

Yes, it is the end times but not like you think. The Age of Pisces, which started 2,000 years ago is coming to a close, and COVID-19/Donald Trump are the great change agents to initiate the second coming of Jesus Christ, but again, not like you think. Basically, the second coming of Christ is when we all have to become Christlike in order for the Age of Aquarius to begin. Through this massive exposure of the destructive nature of inequality, we have to find our inner empathy and love for our fellow beings. And we will because it is all being controlled by the fates at this point.

Yes, this is the Revelation, but the energy of Christ has spread across the globe. In the gnostic Gospel of Thomas, Jesus said “I have cast a fire upon the world, and see, I watch over it until it is ablaze.” It is now ablaze everywhere but in the power structure and much of the Christian church! These are your anti-Christs. The people have become Christlike over the last 2,000 years. And, now, we are compelled to be Christlike because of the technological power we have created. It is no longer tenable for us to not love our neighbors as ourselves. We have to become Christlike, and we are. We have to embrace the higher qualities of the sign of Pisces (love, spirituality, and peace), and get rid of the lower qualities of the sign of Pisces (escapism, self-pity, and ignorance)

At the beginning of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, we were leaving the Age of Aries (the archetype of war and selfhood), where we learned to have self-identity and to be self-defensive. Christ, Gautama Buddha, and Laozi were agents of the Age of Pisces. They were voices crying out in the wilderness, surrounded by war and strife. Laozi in the east famously started writing in the Chinese “warring states period” that ended around 200 BCE. Small states had learned to defend themselves and their statehood, but this causes massive warfare, so agents like Laozi (who was probably not a more of a movement than an actual person) rose to douse these fires with the water of the Age of Pisces. Pisces is probably the most watery of all water signs, by the way.

So, I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but people have learned to be much more peaceful in the last 2,000 years. That is why Trump is so abhorrent to so many, because we the people have integrated these lessons and see how destructive Trump is. Trump would have probably been just fine 2,000 years ago, but now, he must go for the new age to begin. Now that we have learned to have compassion and live together without constant warring, it is time for our new lesson: to learn to be accepting of our differences and form a universal world society that protects all life.

Be not afraid. This is all part of the plan. Yes, Trump is the anti-Christ, but we are the true spirit of Christ, and he will go. The evangelical church is the anti-Christ, and they will soon go. A fascinating aspects to the changeover between astrological ages is that the toxic elements of the previous age become the devil of the new age and then becomes irrelevant later on. At the start of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, the spirit of Aries (represented by a bestial Ram) was often represented in the half-man, half-goat god Pan. Interestingly, there is a myth that around 2,000 years ago, the god Pan died. Around the same time, the early Christian church made Pan their devil, because there was a need to cleanse this element from society to end the warring and internecine strife that was rampant. So now we have this notion of a red-skinned, horned, sex-obsessed devil, which is now becoming quickly irrelevant because most people do not act like this anymore.

So, the new devil of the Age of Aquarius will be a personification of that which is keeping the new age of Aquarius from beginning, namely willful ignorance, narcissism, escapism, and deceit. Likely, the new devil will be something similar to Trump or the average evangelical Christian. The new devil will be the opposite of Aquarius, the sign of science, universal brotherhood, and equality.

Most modern interpretations of the Christian book of Revelation assert that God is going to come down from the sky and send all of the sinners to hell. This is not a very good interpretation. God is within us, not without us. The end-times are happening within us. These energies are being overthrown within us. Figures like Donald Trump are trying to cling to the toxic values of the sign of Pisces, and through science, we now see how dangerous these views are. So we must work to overthrow these elements from society. This leads me to the last component of this essay, selflessness.

Yes, we must learn inner selflessness and elevate the ideals of love, equality, and peace above our desires for escapism, nihilism, and self-destruction. Although the anti-Christ is most represented in figures like Trump and modern evangelical Christians, these toxic elements live in us too, and must be removed within. I can see this beautiful spirit of Christ in the Black Lives Matter protestors putting their safety on the line to end the suffering of our fellow black, Indigenous, and persons of color (BIPOC).

Trump/COVID are the grains of sand in the oyster that will begin the pearl of the new Age of Aquarius. Embrace your inner Christ, the actual Christ, not the bastardized version of the modern interpretation of Christ. This is best represented by the beatitudes of Christ as follows. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are they who mourn. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are they who thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the pure of heart. Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are they who are persecuted. Be these things, and you have done all that you need to do. Be like Martin Luther King Jr. Be like Malcolm X. Be like Gandhi. Yes, these people were all flawed in some way, but strive like they strove. It is not your job to be perfect. It is your job to become better.

The new age is here! I know these times are scary. They are scary because we see how people like Trump must go. We see how the modern evangelical Christians must go. We see how the narcissistic anti-maskers must go. We see how those who can only think of themselves must go. COVID is here to remake society. The actions of these anti-Christs are glaringly obvious now. Work to remake your inner self and society in the image of what is just and true, and all will be well. I don’t know how it will turn out, and I don’t need to. I can see how the story is progressing, and I have trust that it will work. Trust is the key word here. Blind faith must go. Trust through science must replace it.

With love and brotherhood, peace and science be unto you all.

A Few Words

God gave you a left hand and a right hand. On one side there are things that happen to you and you’re the victim or receptive or yin. On the other side, you are the actor, the thinker, the yang. You can’t reduce it to one. It’s both, well at least both. I’m not that smart enough to know how many hands reality has. But you can’t say that you’re a total victim, and you can’t say that you’re a total egotistical controller. We’re all both in varying degrees. So can we please meet in the center? Can we have a mosh pit of love and understanding. I know that some people are “unrelatable” but people change. I used to be a frothing right winger. I grew up. Let’s all stop being total know-it-alls that are completely convinced that the other side is wrong. Certainty is poison. There is no certainty in a complicated system of oppositional actors. Humility, Please?!
By the way, WTF is wrong with you Donald Trump. I’m talking to you as one of those horrible trannies that you want to cleanse out of the military. (BTW, only we can say tranny. Don’t fucking say it if you’re not a tranny.) Grow the fuck up motherfucker! Simmer down my brother. You’re not fucking Christ. Lord. The amount of intellectual certainty in this budding Aquarian Age is just too much. Yeah, we kind of know things because of science, but science is wrong every day.
OK I feel better. It’s such a fucking disaster. Center. Breath. Ground. Know that you’re a dumb ass ape. Life is work.
I’m drunk, but hey, I can write a few words.

My favorite psychedelic is DXM (Dextromethorphan). Microdosing and macrodosing it has allowed me to fully hack my consciousness. Whatever your preferred psychedelic, we are making a huge difference on society. This is my story so far.

Author’s Note: I wrote this post over two years ago, and my life has changed tremendously since then. Germane to the subject of this post, I do not use nearly as much DXM as I used to. About a year ago the drug began telling me that it had nothing left to show me. I cut way back after a certain crisis in my life, and now I use it sporadically as an adjunct to moderate cannabis usage and powerful ritual. I went even further than what is written below, and I have much more peace in my heart than when I wrote this. Be well.


I have taken a LOT of drugs in my lifetime. My favorite drug is DXM (Dextromethorphan), which many people think is a dirt drug for dumb teenagers looking to be less bored. It is strange how I came to be so enamored of this substance. I used it occasionally when I was a bored teenager, but when I turned 30, this substance called me into a new world of shamanic possibility. And let me be very clear: I don’t need to be told that I’m crazy for using so much DXM. I’ve been told this many times, yet I persist. I know what I’m doing, and I am supremely confident that this drug has augmented my perception and not diminished it. If you think I’m nuts for using so much DXM, then please spare me with the moralizing and breathless testimonials of “cautionary tales.”

Drugs do not exist in a vacuum. If there were no such thing as the war on drugs (I live in the US), then the notion of what drug is my favorite drug would be dramatically different. Also, I have a very strong suspicion that the type of people that are also taking a drug within your society can have an effect on the effect of that drug. I believe that drugs can become polluted by the type of consciousness that is consuming them. Psychedelic drugs seem to me to be gates to states of consciousness. They hack your consciousness into a trance-like state, and then you perceive reality from that state. I believe that the word “head-space” would be the best descriptor. And because American consciousness is so delusional and bizarre, I’m quite suspicious of some of the more popular substances like cannabis. Lastly, if a drug is illegal, there is a certain amount of karma attached to its usage which can harm its experience and effects.

Now, most people say that drugs make you dumb. This nonsense such as the “this is your brain on drugs” propaganda needs to be demolished immediately. I think that anyone who reads my writing can tell that I’m not writing from a brain damaged place. I have used DXM over a thousand times at high dosages, and I’ve also been a computer engineer, a financial analyst, a Master’s level student, and a performing musician. I am not so much a fool that I think that drugs like DXM are harmless, but I firmly believe that the American paradigm is flawed and really quite nefarious. Its intent is to keep Americans in a childlike and undeveloped state of consciousness.

DXM has made me do some very strange things in my 5-6 years of using it heavily, but most of these I take as me not understanding my consciousness rather than me being “psychotic.” I have had to grow as an individual, and DXM absolutely has assisted me in my growth. This growth has not been a linear process, and I have seen some very dark places as I have worked to get over my karmic baggage. Honestly, I think that DXM is a tool, but real philosophy is far, far more important in the awakening of an individual. Without philosophy and the wisdom written down by sages through the ages, we would be lost. We are truly dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants as so eloquently stated by giants come before me.

Also, let me say that DXM changes in its effects over time. When you use it only very occasionally, you are getting a very different effect than when I use it. My consciousness has synergistically adapted to it to form something radically different than when I first began using it. At first, it was something that caused me to have closed-eye visuals, a diminished social inhibition, increased sense of spirituality, and a generally improved mood. It is a decent anti-depressant, and this was the primary reason that I initially began to experiment with it. I was deeply depressed since the age of 15, and I knew that Ketamine was being researched as a potent anti-depressant in a clinical setting. DXM and Ketamine are very, very similar substances, except for one glaring difference: DXM is legal. Therefore, the scientist in me saw that I might be able to derive an anti-depressant effect from DXM similar to Ketamine as they are both NMDA receptor antagonists. Ketamine is now available, but it costs $5000+ to use under a doctor’s care. I spend about $200 a month on DXM.

DXM is an interesting drug if you use it occasionally, but dissociative drugs like it are probably not going to ever be the “tripper’s choice” for the average dilettante looking to just be distracted with pretty colors and a fun time. I started using it as a psychiatric medication. I took about 200-300mg twice a day because it seriously eliminated my depression. It was remarkable. I’ve taken nearly every anti-depressant available, and it was superior to all of those. I assume that much of this is due to my specific body chemistry and a probably natural born affinity for the substance, but it worked, period. Only after taking it as an anti-depressant for probably about 8 months did it really start to get interesting.

The latent effects of which I speak started with changes in my body’s “energy.” Now, the word energy is thrown around so much these days that it has very little meaning. However, I believe in Qi (also spelled Chi), a subtle energy that powers the body and that is at present unknown to modern scientific equipment. We cannot measure Qi at present although we can measure its effects. Science is aware of Qi, and it has been verified in double-blinded studies, although most scientists are unable to acknowledge this. The way that it has been verified is through studies on acupuncture. Acupuncture has been shown to have verifiable effects on various body metrics, and the core process by which acupuncture works is by modulating Qi. Scientists usually go through various contortions of logic in order to assure the public that it is working through other means than Qi, but this is nonsense. The Chinese are very comfortable with the notion that Qi energy is real, and they prove it with their ancient science of acupuncture. Modern academic science lacks the ability to measure Qi, so scientists assume that it must not exist. Just because something cannot be measured with a machine does not mean that it does not exist. I know that I can’t convince the hardcore skeptics of its veracity, but I very strongly believe it works. I just have to deal with this limitation.

Now, after I had been taking DXM for 8 months or so I started to notice some very dramatic changes in the Qi energy in my body. I started to notice that the energy seemed to be feeding on the presence of DXM. I really have zero idea of how this process works, but I know that when I take DXM now, my Qi energy is greatly enhanced. I can feel the energy pulsing around me like a tornado, and I can rev this tornado like an engine with my will and intention. At first this was a curiosity, and I really didn’t know what to do with it. I could make “Qi balls” which are suspensions of Qi energy between the hands. And I could transmit this energy “into the ether” to say what I was doing without a better explanation. I became a conduit of this energy. And if I used the right amount of DXM, entered the trance state, and positioned my body in a certain way I became a conduit of this energy. At the time, I didn’t really know what this was doing, but I kept at it. I knew that this violated what I had been told about reality from modern science, so needless to say I was intrigued. Like any good explorer, I followed this white rabbit, and I am extremely glad that I did.

Now, let me add a very important detail here. Exploring these kinds of thoughts with this level of intensity can have very harsh consequences on your social standing in a Western country like the US. There is not really an avenue for exploring this kind of thing like there might be in Eastern countries. This kind of thinking and exploring is for all intents illegal in America. You might not be locked up, but the spotlight of suspicion will be directed right on you, and if you pursue these kinds of explorations, you are risking your livelihood and social standing. I have lost much of my social standing because I persisted in this respect, and I am extremely glad that I persisted. In the end, DXM and these explorations has led to my awakening or enlightenment or however you want to put it. My life now is wonderful because of where I went. It was an extremely tough climb, but my consciousness is saved from the pit of hopeless western delusion. Now, I very much believe that I came into this world to discover and redeem the power of psychedelics and shamanism. It is my life’s work.

OK, so to recap. I started taking DXM when I was 30 because I was hopelessly depressed. After about 8 months of daily micro-dose usage of it, its effects began to change markedly. I was initially very confused by these effects as they seemed to contradict modern scientific dogma. This information disrupted my life and social standing as I attempted to share it with my friends and family to disastrous consequences. I persisted, and I believe that DXM plus a philosophy of wisdom has freed me from delusion and suffering.

When the Qi energy became very prominent due to my usage of DXM, I started to learn how to utilize it. I began to practice something similar to Kriya-Yoga, which was the system popularized by Paramahansa Yogananda. Honestly, this higher level Yoga is very difficult to communicate to those who are not advanced in their personal energy work. The energy that DXM enables can be channeled and utilized to manipulate the body’s energy centers or chakras. Once these energy centers become charged, you can transform your consciousness and metamorphose yourself into a butterfly where once was a caterpillar. And I must admit that I definitely was stumbling in the dark for a very long time, because I had no guru to direct me. But God (whatever you wish to call the higher intelligence) is the only true guru, and I found my way. If you seek, you shall find. If you knock, the door will be opened. I recommend having someone who can guide you, but you can get there by yourself as well with the requisite willpower.

After years of this kind of activity, I made my way up the mountain of the spiritual realm. Honestly, I believe that what you are doing is getting rid of the chrysalis of delusion. When you grow up in the west, you are pummeled with incorrect disinformation from birth. You are taught so many wrong ideas that your attainment of liberation is a very difficult path. But, I believe that I am on this planet right now to help people up the mountain. I honestly believe that we are entering a new age of possibility. Don’t be fooled by the current political realities; we are passing ideological kidney stones. It is a painful process to reduce the power of the ego, but we are seeing the full idiocy of the ego at present in our glorious leader, “the leaks are real but the news is fake” Trump. Sorry I had to tell one joke in this otherwise sober post.

I’m not really sure how I am going to share the information that I’ve been able to gain in my lifetime thus far, but I will continue to speak. This post is not necessarily a paean to DXM so much as a confirmation to my fellow travelers that the Psychonaut path is a valid path, and we have the possibility of changing the world. I really believe that because technology has so altered our landscape, psychedelics might become necessary to survive in this environment until we find better adaptations. Some believe that the apes before us used psychedelic mushrooms to advance to our level. I believe that we’re going to need our own form of mushrooms, whatever they be, to get to the next level. But, I don’t know. I really don’t know. I know that there is so much that is really beyond my understanding. However, I do know that without DXM, I would be like a myopic person who never had eyeglasses. DXM to me is no different than when Galileo got his first telescope. This is probably true for you folks with your psychedelic of choice.

Lastly, I want to say that I’ve become a powerful Shaman largely because of DXM. I spend a great amount of time in the ethereal or astral realms working with energies and manipulating them to assist myself and humanity. I believe that I am making a difference in that realm. The job of the Shaman is to work with the spirit realm and attempt to assist his or her society by so doing. I honestly and fervently believe that I am having a positive effect in that realm. There is more to the story than I’m sharing here, but I have amassed a great amount of power in that realm, and I am using it for the good. It is my service to humanity. I’m not alone in this respect.

I will continue to write and continue to understand how I can share what I’ve learned. I think that we are a vibrant and important community. This is a great time to be alive. As we are seeing every day, we have something that the world might not be able to survive without. We must remain strong and forthright in our honorable path.

Be well my friends.– Click Follow for Automatic Updates!

A year ago I almost died, then grace came through, and now I’m free. This is the story of my moment of awakening.

A year ago on January 20th, 2016, I was in the hospital for suicidal ideation. I had just gotten a DUI 4 days earlier. The hospital sent me home because they didn’t know what to do with me, and they told me I would not get a bed in a psych facility. I told them that I would probably kill myself if they let me go, and they let me go anyways. So, I decided to try and kill myself.

I went home to where I was living at the time, with my then girlfriend. I knew that I had a trove of toxic medication, about 250 pills of various chemicals, and I had researched and figured this would do the trick. I set about measuring them all out. It nauseated me thinking about taking them all, but I just went about taking them all. It took me about an hour to get them all down. I was deadly serious, and I sat back to write my suicide note.

I felt the darkness creeping over me. At the time, I really thought that killing myself was the right thing to do. I had a committed feeling that I was doing a righteous act. I thought that I would go to God, because I thought that I was some form of enlightened at the time. I could feel the darkness of death starting to take me. This feeling will stay with me for the rest of my life.

I still have the note that I scribbled onto a paper plate. It said “Goodbye. It’s been fun. The depression is just too much. It’s unending suffering. I don’t like America. It feels like a prison. Whatever. I’m sorry for the pain this might cause. Sorry if I sound like I don’t care. Just tired. Abbey.”

I thought about what would happen next, and for a second there was doubt. I didn’t feel liberated. I still felt depressed. And I was scared. I thought that maybe killing myself would make things worse. I thought about hell. I thought about God. I thought about going to somewhere even worse than where I was. I reread the note that I had written. Then something clicked. I still don’t really know what happened, but this was my awakening. My life changed in that instant. I noticed that the note was whiny. I noticed that I was angry. I noticed that I sounded childish. And then I saw my ego. It was this angry, demonic looking thing inside of me. I saw it. And it was so pathetic. I felt foolish. I felt stupid next to death and God. All of the excuses about why I should kill myself seemed so ludicrous.

And I looked at that ego inside my gut (that’s where I saw it), and I just said “this is so fucking stupid,” and I laughed at myself. The pills were really starting to take effect, and I was getting diarrhea. I couldn’t even kill myself properly. My body was desperately trying to get rid of the poison. I thought that I would have passed out by this time, but I was still very much conscious.

In that instant I realized that the anger of my ego was insatiable. That thing was so committed to its insanity that it was willing to kill its host. That was where I realized that I had to stop listening to my ego, and I just thought “I’m failing at everything. I have to give up. I have to listen to someone besides my ego.” And I just surrendered. I gave up.

I walked out of the room I was in. My girlfriend was sitting on the couch. She was kicking me out because she couldn’t help me, and she couldn’t handle all of the suicide attempts. I sat next to her and asked “do you think all of these suicide attempts are stupid?” Of course she agreed, but she was distant. She was exhausted by me. I felt strangely liberated at this point. I had fired my ego. I felt free. I told her that I was calling 911 because I was trying to kill myself. The paramedic and cops showed up soon after, and the hospital was able to clean out my digestive tract with the most amount of laxatives I have ever taken and hope to ever take again, lol.

That day I gave up. I consciously switched my inner compass away from my ego, which was totally insane, and towards God. You can call it whatever you want, but I was saved that day. Christ or something came into my heart, and to this day, I can feel a basic goodness in my heart. There is something in there that was not there before that day. I had done a lot of spiritual work before that day; I had built a candle in my heart, but until I was willing to surrender, it was an unlit candle. Making that decision to say “ok God, I’m clueless on my own, you’re in charge” lit that candle, and it is still lit.

Over the last year my life has improved SO much. And I’ve really had to do about everything that my ego would say NOT to do. I’ve had to get jobs that were not very exciting. I’ve lived with roommates in sober living that have definitely not been that great of people. I’ve had to drag myself to spiritual fellowship when my ego would definitely rather not do that. I’ve had to quit drinking. I’ve changed my diet and lost 65 pounds. I’ve meditated with a passion. I’ve reached out for advice instead of thinking I know everything. I’ve bowed down to the world instead of wanting the world to bow down to me.

I’m so happy I fired my ego. It’s still there with its frown and judgment thinking it knows everything. But I just laugh. I really don’t know how I did all of the amazing things that I did over the last year. That’s fine. I gave the reins to my higher self or God or whatever. Sometimes I think it’s alien intelligence. I have zero clue what it is, but it’s there. And I listen. I open my heart, and I listen to what the world has to say.

I don’t want to kill myself. I’ve had almost no suicidal thoughts in the last year. I got off my medications for depression. I’ve recovered. I’m still cleaning up a lot of the messes that my ego got me into, but I’m so much better. Life is grand. Life is amazing. Life is peace. I don’t have the fear anymore because I fired my ego. I have a basic trust that I will be ok.

In my mind I just bow down the God and give thanks. I recognize that my ego was just delusion. It was insanity. Everyone struggles in life. I wasn’t special. We all have shit to shovel in this world. Big deal! That suicide note was just silly, so I keep it as a reminder.

My heart is love. I call it Christ to Christians, because that’s their language, and that’s what it is. But it’s also Buddha nature or Krishna consciousness or whatever. It’s redemption. It’s grace. It’s love. It’s wholeness. It’s awakening.

I have the dopiest smile on my face right now. I’m not going anywhere. Life is too much fun! Be well my friends.

Sri Mahatma Terence McKenna Explains It All

I’m basically a scientist without portfolio because no academic institution would ever trust me with a portfolio. But I move in the domain of the gurus, the channelers , the pontificators, and those with secret revealed knowledge from Atlantis and Lemuria, but I have contempt for all of that whether it’s true or not because they got there the wrong way. You know?

You have to come through the rules of evidence and reason. Reason is not science, don’t confuse them. I’m very much a critic of science and the scientific method but I don’t think reason can be tossed out with that bathwater. What is being proposed here is that we are on the brink of the discovery of another world. A world as potentially transforming of our world as the discovery of the western hemisphere transformed European civilization in the fifteen hundreds. But the world that we are about to discover is inside the mind. It’s mental real estate.

We who have made consciousness our game, by building cities, elaborating literatures, tossing up religions and setting armies marching.. we who have made consciousness our game, have barely scratched the surface of human consciousness and it’s not like we haven’t had a crack at it. I mean, these yogans have been over there digging away for millennia, Egyptian religion, Kabbalism, alchemy, western traditions of mysticism, -and I am a connoisseur of all that, don’t get me wrong but what astonishes me is how embryonic it all is.

We are not the tired inheritors of an ancient and sophisticated civilization in its twilight, which is what they are all telling us. We are, the know nothing fresh scrub babes who are the new kids on the block, who haven’t got a clue as to what the human enterprise could really be about! And we are coming now through a very narrow historical neck where the accumulated stupidity of the last 5,000 years is, the dues now have to be paid. ‘It ain’t fair. We didn’t do it.’ You know? ‘We didn’t bring the slaves from Africa, ‘we didn’t invent oligarchy’, ‘we didn’t do all these things’, nobody is interested in our whining about how ‘we didn’t do it!’

It’s in your face and it’s clearly a crisis of two things, of consciousness and of conditioning. These are two things that the psychedelics attack. We have the technological power, the engineering skills to save our planet, to cure disease, to feed the hungry, to end war; But we lack the intellectual vision, the ability to change our minds. We must decondition ourselves from 10,000 years of bad behavior. And, it’s not easy.

-Terence McKenna

So let’s get on it everyone! We will create the new day!

Realize that you are being purposefully distracted from yourself. Turn it all off.

Don’t watch TV. Don’t listen to the radio. Don’t read the newspaper. Stop about 90% of your thinking. Stop wanting to consume and control everything. There is a frequency jammer that is flooding you with misinformation so that you won’t figure out your own spiritual machinery.

“Hmm, I had a weird emotion, maybe I should take a look at my inner life…”

“NOOO!!!! Here’s a football game!! Here’s a pizza with chicken in the crust!! Here’s a naked woman!!”

“Oh, ok. I guess I won’t look at my inner life.”

“Now that’s a good boy…”

Go to your room. Be alone. Turn off all of the non-essential feeds that are stuffing you full of nonsense that doesn’t matter. Take psychedelics. Talk to your inner self. Pray. Meditate. Levitate. See God. Give up. Find the real Jesus the super yogi, not the lie that you learned in Sunday School to keep you from the real truth. Learn a mantra. Clear your mind. Be happy doing zero for at least 30 minutes a day. You don’t have to sit like Buddha to meditate. Just stop thinking.

You’ll clear up. Your spirit will reset. You’ll be fine. And you’ll realize that there has always been a light shining on you. It never left you. It’s just that there was all that pollution clouding it up.

Then you’ll just want to play and dance! You’ll still be able to survive. Trust me, you will. But you’ll have peace! peace.

peace…

🙂

 

I was on the cross with Jesus last night while tripping on DXM. How I came to believe in Jesus, I don’t know, but here I am, and my heart is just simply love. I know Christians are mostly lousy people, but I hope you too can know the real love in the message.

I tried my very best to leave the Christian church. I’m a proud transgender and bisexual woman. I know that my gender identity is sacred and true and fine with God. My dad was a pastor in the American Baptist church. I grew up in an atmosphere soaked with fear. I was told to have a deep shame. So I left and went in my head to Asia to find salvation.

What I found in Asian philosophies was far more real than what I found in the protestant churches of my youth, but I eventually got over my bitterness and resentment about Christianity. I have considered myself a Taoist or Buddhist or Hindu for the last 5 years. My spiritual life has grown tremendously as I’ve learned how to still my mind and how to approach reality with a proper stance as illustrated by the principle of Wu Wei (not forcing or effortless action or uncontrived action). These principles helped me to truly connect with the divine.

I am also a big time proponent of psychedelic chemicals, and I have developed a symbiotic relationship with Dextromethorphan (DXM), the psychedelic dissociative that is generally used as a cough suppressant. It is a very powerful spiritual medicine, and through the wisdom of Kabbalah, I’ve learned how to traverse the spiritual realm with the enthusiasm of a native shaman. It’s also legal, so I don’t have to deal with the bad karma of using illegal drugs. I wish there were better legal psychedelics, but I’ve made do.

I’ve been possessed by unexplainable and powerful spirits before, and these possessions have changed my life irrevocably. About 5 years ago in a courthouse in California, I had my first initiatory possession. I was overtaken by a benevolent spirit that spoke through me and acted using my body. I did some things in that courthouse that day that steered my life on a radically different course and was witness to the power of the spiritual world. This spirit danced my body and moved with extreme grace and precision. Since then I’ve been obsessed with understanding who or what overtook me.

About a year ago, in trance with DXM and meditation, I had a vision of being crucified in front of a sea of shouting and hateful people. They were all male and they violently shouted their hatred at me. However, in the vision I smiled at them with supreme confidence and love, and through gnosis I understood that this was the proper reaction to bullies and hatred. Then my body was taken down from the cross and ripped apart and consumed by a sea of ravenous people, but my spirit floated above watching. As the people tore my body apart, I was lifted up into a spiritual realm where I saw a giant cross like an X with a blooming flower in the middle of it. I floated higher, and I was in an angelic setting, and my body was fitted with the armor of a warrior angel.

This vision shook me, and I knew that I must learn from it. What I learned was that I should expect to be persecuted and that I should die to the world every day to achieve peace. I learned over the last year to be a person of peace and to have no fear in the knowledge that death is just an illusion. Also, shortly after this vision in 2015, in a time of deep woe and depression, I attempted to take my own life with a massive amount of pills. I had suffered from depression and self-loathing since I was a teenager. But just when I was near death, I had a near death experience, and I saw a dark demon like entity within myself. I also realized how not enlightened I was. I had convinced myself that I was killing myself to be free and that it was some kind of heroic act. I saw through this delusion that day, and since then I have not been suicidal in the least, and a peace and “presence” has been in my heart. I could not explain it until now. But there was a shift or awakening, and a new love was in my heart.

Over the last year, I’ve continued to water and fertilize this new thing in my heart, and I’ve achieved great peace through DXM, meditation, practicing humility, and gnosis. But last night I had an enlightenment experience. I don’t believe that I have achieved all that I can achieve, but the clarity of last night’s experience has deeply, deeply pacified my soul. To quote Osho, the zen master, “the seeking stopped.” I saw the Buddha, and I also saw something else.

I saw in my third eye the crucifixion scene, and I moved up into Jesus and was one with him. I realized that Jesus never died. On the cross he moved outside of time and still lives. I then realized that my spirit is on a cross, and my arms are splayed apart. I don’t know if I’m the reincarnation of a persecuted Christian or what. I realized that the love that was placed in my heart in 2015 was the love of Christ. This was definitely not what I intended to discover, that Christ was the one radiating through me, but it happened. I see and feel the deep and overwhelming love that Christ was able to create through his practice. I don’t believe that Christ is the only person to achieve this, but I believe that he was special.

After I was on the cross last night, I saw that I was in contact with a spirit that was “the Earth” or something signifying material things. I mated or joined with this spirit, and I gave a seed of that shining love to this spirit, and it was planted in the Earth. Today, I have pulled two Tarot cards, and both of them have been the Ace of Pentacles, which I take as symbolism that a new Earth or new materiality is manifesting.

Then after this I was in the presence of a great multitude of spiritual masters. I saw Paramahansa Yogananda, the Hindu master from the 20th century, and he smiled at me with great joy. Then a long row of spiritual masters seemed to bow to an audience at what appeared to be some sort of performance. I have seen Yogananda before, but now he saw me, and he was glowing with beauty and joy. I understand this as they have been assisting me over the last 5 years, as I have worked to ascend.

I’m a transgender woman, and I believe in the power of psychedelics, and yet I got confirmation that both of these things absolutely do not matter to God last night. I think that the modern Christian church is not at all representative of the message of Jesus. The religious right is about as bankrupt as a spiritual movement of people that has ever existed on the planet in my view. But, here I am, certain that Christ is real. I also believe that Christ and Krishna are the same thing, and anyone can become Christ. The Christ is just a state of mind. It is the union of God and a human.

I am so peaceful today. My third eye feels as though there is a flame burning in it, and my heart is deeply peaceful and happy. I’m not trying to convert people to Christianity. I think Christianity is a religion that has been hijacked by rather demonic forces. Donald Trump wants to do “extreme vetting” on Muslim travelers, well I honestly think we should do that with these so called Christians who have been extremely happy to murder millions in Christ’s name. I consider myself more of a Gnostic Christian, but really I don’t believe in religion. We have to focus on ourselves not build some institution to save the world. We can only save ourselves, and the world is deeply primitive in that respect.

I think if Jesus were alive today he would be posting on /r/Psychonaut or /r/Occult. So yeah, I believe in Jesus Christ. I don’t know how this happened! Help! Kidding… Jesus Christ was a great man. His followers, not so much. However, there are some unbelievably great Christians alive today. But they are usually the quiet ones just trying to be excellent and humble and loving people. They’re not the ones getting Botox before they go on camera in front of their “prosperity gospel” megachurch.

I hope that all of you can learn the joy and peace that Jesus really taught. I hope that you can get past the wolves in sheep’s clothing that stalk the land and poison the message of a great man. To quote Yogananda

“Jesus Christ is very much alive and active today. In Spirit and occasionally taking on a flesh-and-blood form, he is working unseen by the masses for the regeneration of the world. With his all-embracing love, Jesus is not content merely to enjoy his blissful consciousness in Heav­en. He is deeply concerned for mankind and wishes to give his followers the means to attain the divine freedom of entry into God’s Infinite Kingdom. He is disappointed because many are the churches and temples founded in his name, often prosperous and powerful, but where is the communion that he stressed — actual contact with God? Jesus wants temples to be established in human souls, first and foremost; then established outwardly in physical places of worship. Instead, there are countless huge edifices with vast congregations being indoctrinated in churchianity, but few souls who are really in touch with Christ through deep prayer and meditation.

I am working with all my might to make the world a more joyous, united, and wonderful place. I send out my joy in meditation, and through the spirit of Christ, I’ve learned how to amplify and radiate this love. Peace be to you all. Happy tripping, make gay love, and Jesus loves you. 🙂

Why as a Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Jew and Transgender Woman I believe in Jesus Christ

I must say that to be a thinking person with an honest heart and to be a believing Christian is just about as difficult today as it was in the 1st century when Rome was committed to crush this newborn belief system. But today, it is difficult because the church has lost the message of Christ. If the temple is the worshipers, then the money changers are right back where they were before Christ threw them out. It might not always be money that they are changing; the true sin of those merchants was to equate holiness with material things which is best described by the phrase “spiritual materialism.” The church of today, as evinced by the gross and sinful election of Donald Trump as a “Christian President,” is rotten and in a decay so deep that it is difficult to say if even Christ can resurrect this body spiritual.

But in the spirit of Christ, which is the eternal personification of God, all things are possible. This phrase sounds wholly hollow because of its modern status as a cliche, but it is true. It has just not been fully translated into the modern system of language. But God has revealed this translation to me through vision, synchronicity, joy, and rebirth. I have grown the Christ within my heart, and now it is my salvation. I did not go through the Christian church to reach Christ; I actually went to China and India to find Christ, but he was there, as he was even before his birth in Nazarus.

The Christian Gospels are actually quite spare in many of the details in how to create this alchemical Christ within your spiritual heart. I believe that this knowledge was suppressed when the Roman authorities adopted Christianity as the state religion. As we now know from the discovery of the Gnostic library at Nag Hammadi, there was a purge of minority opinions in the 4th century following the Council at Nicaea and the subsequent decision to establish the church around what would become known as Catholic ideas as codified by Saint Augustus and similar thinkers. This position created the impersonal Christ who could only be reached through the Papacy and its priestly caste. This disseminated the notion that true gnosis, or the direct communication with God, was impossible to the average layperson, and in effect it did become impossible as the tools by which one could communicate with God were lost in the atrophy of this spiritual knowledge.

I went to Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and mystical Judaism to relearn these techniques. They are hidden in those systems as well, and it takes a great amount of perseverance to discover them. But there is a way. One must fully break down the modern way of perceiving the world in order to have the truth revealed. We are all quite sick in our pervasive negativism and nihilism. We worship the negative, and then we are surprised when the negative takes the throne to rule. I was victim to this way of thinking for decades, and I was suicidal because of it. I was hopeless, lost, and constantly wanting for peace.

But five years ago, a miracle occurred in my life. I was possessed and overtaken by the spirit of God in a courthouse in California. My body became but a puppet to this powerful force, and it spoke through me. It was supreme confidence. It only lasted for an hour or so, and I was deeply troubled by it, but the actions that this spirit took effectively dismantled my previous life and set me on a new path. Because of this mystery, my life was forever changed. I committed myself to understand what had happened. And today I am confident that I understand as best I as I can. I don’t have supreme understanding, but I know that I walk in the right direction. Clarity is developing, but I have faith.

I have relearned the techniques of gnosis, and God has revealed in a mysterious manner what is true. These truths have been given in such a way so as to build my faith brick by brick. And now, my temple is strong. And the curious thing is that after my sojourn in the Eastern ways of thought, the Christ of my youth has been revealed to me in a new light. I see his beauty. I understand that to truly see Christ, you must walk as Christ did. His last commandment was to “love each other as I have loved you,” which simply means that one must become the Christ to see the Christ.

It is not simply through going to a church, getting baptized, and yelling “I’m saved!” that you are reborn. This is foolishness and the growth of this materialistic perspective has poisoned the church. One must be baptized from within to be reborn. There are waters within your consciousness that must cleanse your soul, AND you must choose to discard your selfish ego in favor of your spirit of service and piety. This is the only way to be saved. And this is not just a Christian truth, this is a human truth. There are many who have been saved in such a fashion in all faiths. The faith is just a map. You must walk the path within your heart to true salvation.

Only then will you see God. You must become a tempered sword of the good, where love, service, and humility are your strongest weapons. You must become a star whose core is powered by the fusion of your individual and the all; then the light of love will explode around you.

I have seen in prophetic vision that Christ did not die on the cross. He is still there; I have looked out from his eyes. He fully merged with God on that cross, and his kingdom is still glowing from that spot. I am now on that cross with him as millions of others are. I am happily splayed wide open, helpless, dead to the desires of the world. I am not yet fully completed, but I am so changed that there is peace in my heart. I know that I am walking to that kingdom, and because I walk to the kingdom, I am already there.

When you transcend your human life, you move outside of time and into the eternal. The people around you might see that you have died, but your spirit will live. Christ created a new heavenly kingdom, and many have gone to live within that kingdom of love. I will go there someday. In fact, I am already there. I have become a conduit for this love. I can choose to give this up and fall back into the unreal and dead, but I choose to walk into the light, knowing that persecution will follow. But this is fine. I have been prepared.

And I have been told that my choice to live as a transgender person is sanctioned. I know that it is not my gender presentation that is sinful; it is the desires in my heart that separate me from God. You can be whatever presentation or expression you like as long as you are a good and decent person and walk the true path.

Also, drugs are not evil per se. Some drugs like psychedelic chemicals, if used properly, can be great tools for realizing the truth of God. However, addiction to drugs is a terrible menace to your salvation, and you must become free of this and only use drugs voluntarily. I have struggled mightily with this, and I have overcome through grace and choice. I used to be an alcoholic, and today I am free from this bondage. But I still use psychedelic chemicals in my practice of gnosis.

I did not set out to believe in Christ. And I believe that the Christ spirit can be known by many paths, but I have been shown this truth, and I have peace. Choose love, humility, peace, defenselessness, and joy and become as a little child. Then you will be free. Love is waiting for you. Joy is your birthright.