Tag: Christ

Those who speak do not know, but here’s a few words that might point the way

The key to happiness is to recognize where the river of your fate and try and align with it. If you’re in a raft and the river turns left but you just really wanna go right, you’re gonna hit a bank. Stay in the water, follow the stream. How you do that? It’s complicated, but don’t think reality can really fit in your head. We just have elaborate conceptual maps of reality in our head. But out there, in the wilderness, is the real real. And it is alive and trying to contact you. There is intelligent love in the universe, and you have a receiver for its communications called your brain and spinal cord.

It’s way better than Netflix or video games. It’s called the logos, the word, daimon, guide, etc. It has the answers to your questions, but it won’t tell you everything. It will tell you just enough to light the river in front of you. It is your lamp, but it is only a lamp. The idea that spirit will totally make you manifest everything you want is specious. It will give you crumbs, your daily bread.

The great all or God or Brahman or Allah cannot fit in your brain. Your brain is a God dissecting device. God is the totality, and every word is a dissection of that. Like the tao, it cannot be spoken. Words divide and section things apart. God can only be felt by the heart of the mystic, expressed in a joyous smile, or felt in the in the twirl of a sufi dancer spinning to experience rapture.

God cannot be communicated. The Tao Te Ching says “those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know.” Our network cables called language cannot handle the infinite bandwidth of the totality which cannot be named. The teacher can only point at the moon, he cannot give you the moon. So I think it’s best to end this post with a big fat nothing, called…

Truth! Love! Grace! Peace…

So many lies. Drowning in lies. Gaslight nation. The only way to live in this deluge of mendacity is to find your truth and walk that truth forward. Making enemies in the service of truth is honor. Just ask yourself: what would America be without slavery, without indigenous land theft, without Jim Crow, without mass incarceration, without a few million dead Iraqis, Vietnamese, Afghanis? Can we speak these truths that are self-evident to the highest power?

I think the house of cards crumbles if you remove that stolen fuel. And what are we doing with that stolen wealth? Squandering it with navel-gazing, hedonistic decadence. You can’t get high forever. Eventually the party is over. I’m lucky because I lost everything. This country made me into a pariah. I could not have my inner freedom without outer suffering. Through torture I have been saved. And not saved like Joel Osteen saying that I’m saved on national TV. That’s just cosplay saved.

Listen to the suffering of others and you will see the mother of all love, the goddess of all compassion. Then you will be saved because you have deep compassion for yourself. Laugh at the seriosity of America. This is not the only way to run a country. I know it gets beaten into our heads from age 2 that we are the most advanced form of government in the world. Do we even want to be advanced? Where is the love? Where is the community? Where is the outrage that our family members are sleeping in the freezing cold on concrete? Your heart will tell you the truth of that situation if you listen.

Truth requires love and love requires truth. I have every reason plus twenty to have hate in my heart, but I just wanted to destroy myself when I harbored hate in my heart. I just gave it up. What Christians call the holy spirit came down and said “you’ll never know if you’re going to survive, you’ll always feel pain, you’ll suffer, but I’ll be there with you.” And so something stopped in me. I believe in Christ but I’m not a Christian. Turn the other cheek on the inside. Let them win. For in losing, you gain a peace that surpasses all understanding. They gain some green paper. You gain your soul.

Fallingđź’ŽDiamonds

they let it fall
in stars and bars
the monster maimed
by Minhs and Ladens
tumbled to the ground

Watch the cruel young sacrifice
the states united under Christ
find love in murder appetites
the end of hedonism’s brawl
the zombies wandering the malls
the thoughts of normalcy controlled
they dive inside delusion’s hall

they let it fall
in stars and bars
the post-apocalyptic waste is now
but no one knows beyond the fun
how best to think of life and guns
they’ve lost and corporations’ve won

ding dong ding dong
love live the lexicon
some of us are separate
and some of us are one
let us mix and bathe and hug
in goddess minded peace
and Leo hearted love

Prayer to Eris, dark queen of chaos, wanderer of the Kuiper Belt

Oh in the name of dwarf-planet Eris, icy queen of the Plutonic Kuiper Realms, I inhale the vapors of the Libran full moon, I call on my transgender powers to end all of Western Civilization just by being, I drink from the goblet of Saint Hoffman, and I exhale…

So now that Christ is dead until Sunday and all. Since he’s indisposed, I thought I’d share without worry of shame because sometimes I really overthink my perspective, and I just need to get it out. I should probably just give a report on my life since Facebook is beseeching me to share!

It’s definitely a ride in the ol’ Yellow Submarine machine. I thank my lucky Neptune that I’m still alive, and I somehow happen to have a beautiful girlfriend too!

I’m working full time, and in school full time to become a mental health worker, so all super serioso stuff. I live in Portland, Oregon, a city that is absolutely without peer in its total inability to handle the Trump presidency without internalizing the official “the sky is falling!”, “you’re a pathetic serf,” “no gods will love you,” premise, which is the whole fucking point of the Trump “we really, really don’t like black presidents!” golden apple shitpost of a presidency. I mean, I know it’s like the perfect bait for the holy roller Luke Skywalker staring into the desert class. I get it. But, this shit is too much. Laugh people! Laugh at your captors! Gleefully squirm in their shackles.

Oh, and I work for the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality, and you know how pissed we are at everything. I’m shaking my finger at you world! My facebook post is now being edited by grammarly for appropriateness now. Goddess forbid that I mispel a word!

And right now, I’m just barfing up digital confetti because that’s the appropriate reaction to the Paleo friendly Zuckerberg stew that we’re all pigging down on. But don’t worry! Silicon Valley is disrupting our way to salvation!

But lastly, please don’t let any of this profane anti-social speech condemn my future and my children’s future to a life of bleak toil on the lunar spice mines. I need to get a license and all. Thank God I can use this phony creation called Abbey Pope, Discordo-shaman to the interweebs and total alter ego and definitely not the other girl on my resume that shall remain nameless.

Praise the giant dwarf planet asteroid dancing in the sky who conjuncted my moon as a babe. I know you will always be with me because you know, you can’t spell Aries without

oh well, you get it…

Please return to your veneration rituals to the solar zombie god.

A Few Words

God gave you a left hand and a right hand. On one side there are things that happen to you and you’re the victim or receptive or yin. On the other side, you are the actor, the thinker, the yang. You can’t reduce it to one. It’s both, well at least both. I’m not that smart enough to know how many hands reality has. But you can’t say that you’re a total victim, and you can’t say that you’re a total egotistical controller. We’re all both in varying degrees. So can we please meet in the center? Can we have a mosh pit of love and understanding. I know that some people are “unrelatable” but people change. I used to be a frothing right winger. I grew up. Let’s all stop being total know-it-alls that are completely convinced that the other side is wrong. Certainty is poison. There is no certainty in a complicated system of oppositional actors. Humility, Please?!
By the way, WTF is wrong with you Donald Trump. I’m talking to you as one of those horrible trannies that you want to cleanse out of the military. (BTW, only we can say tranny. Don’t fucking say it if you’re not a tranny.) Grow the fuck up motherfucker! Simmer down my brother. You’re not fucking Christ. Lord. The amount of intellectual certainty in this budding Aquarian Age is just too much. Yeah, we kind of know things because of science, but science is wrong every day.
OK I feel better. It’s such a fucking disaster. Center. Breath. Ground. Know that you’re a dumb ass ape. Life is work.
I’m drunk, but hey, I can write a few words.

I was on the cross with Jesus last night while tripping on DXM. How I came to believe in Jesus, I don’t know, but here I am, and my heart is just simply love. I know Christians are mostly lousy people, but I hope you too can know the real love in the message.

I tried my very best to leave the Christian church. I’m a proud transgender and bisexual woman. I know that my gender identity is sacred and true and fine with God. My dad was a pastor in the American Baptist church. I grew up in an atmosphere soaked with fear. I was told to have a deep shame. So I left and went in my head to Asia to find salvation.

What I found in Asian philosophies was far more real than what I found in the protestant churches of my youth, but I eventually got over my bitterness and resentment about Christianity. I have considered myself a Taoist or Buddhist or Hindu for the last 5 years. My spiritual life has grown tremendously as I’ve learned how to still my mind and how to approach reality with a proper stance as illustrated by the principle of Wu Wei (not forcing or effortless action or uncontrived action). These principles helped me to truly connect with the divine.

I am also a big time proponent of psychedelic chemicals, and I have developed a symbiotic relationship with Dextromethorphan (DXM), the psychedelic dissociative that is generally used as a cough suppressant. It is a very powerful spiritual medicine, and through the wisdom of Kabbalah, I’ve learned how to traverse the spiritual realm with the enthusiasm of a native shaman. It’s also legal, so I don’t have to deal with the bad karma of using illegal drugs. I wish there were better legal psychedelics, but I’ve made do.

I’ve been possessed by unexplainable and powerful spirits before, and these possessions have changed my life irrevocably. About 5 years ago in a courthouse in California, I had my first initiatory possession. I was overtaken by a benevolent spirit that spoke through me and acted using my body. I did some things in that courthouse that day that steered my life on a radically different course and was witness to the power of the spiritual world. This spirit danced my body and moved with extreme grace and precision. Since then I’ve been obsessed with understanding who or what overtook me.

About a year ago, in trance with DXM and meditation, I had a vision of being crucified in front of a sea of shouting and hateful people. They were all male and they violently shouted their hatred at me. However, in the vision I smiled at them with supreme confidence and love, and through gnosis I understood that this was the proper reaction to bullies and hatred. Then my body was taken down from the cross and ripped apart and consumed by a sea of ravenous people, but my spirit floated above watching. As the people tore my body apart, I was lifted up into a spiritual realm where I saw a giant cross like an X with a blooming flower in the middle of it. I floated higher, and I was in an angelic setting, and my body was fitted with the armor of a warrior angel.

This vision shook me, and I knew that I must learn from it. What I learned was that I should expect to be persecuted and that I should die to the world every day to achieve peace. I learned over the last year to be a person of peace and to have no fear in the knowledge that death is just an illusion. Also, shortly after this vision in 2015, in a time of deep woe and depression, I attempted to take my own life with a massive amount of pills. I had suffered from depression and self-loathing since I was a teenager. But just when I was near death, I had a near death experience, and I saw a dark demon like entity within myself. I also realized how not enlightened I was. I had convinced myself that I was killing myself to be free and that it was some kind of heroic act. I saw through this delusion that day, and since then I have not been suicidal in the least, and a peace and “presence” has been in my heart. I could not explain it until now. But there was a shift or awakening, and a new love was in my heart.

Over the last year, I’ve continued to water and fertilize this new thing in my heart, and I’ve achieved great peace through DXM, meditation, practicing humility, and gnosis. But last night I had an enlightenment experience. I don’t believe that I have achieved all that I can achieve, but the clarity of last night’s experience has deeply, deeply pacified my soul. To quote Osho, the zen master, “the seeking stopped.” I saw the Buddha, and I also saw something else.

I saw in my third eye the crucifixion scene, and I moved up into Jesus and was one with him. I realized that Jesus never died. On the cross he moved outside of time and still lives. I then realized that my spirit is on a cross, and my arms are splayed apart. I don’t know if I’m the reincarnation of a persecuted Christian or what. I realized that the love that was placed in my heart in 2015 was the love of Christ. This was definitely not what I intended to discover, that Christ was the one radiating through me, but it happened. I see and feel the deep and overwhelming love that Christ was able to create through his practice. I don’t believe that Christ is the only person to achieve this, but I believe that he was special.

After I was on the cross last night, I saw that I was in contact with a spirit that was “the Earth” or something signifying material things. I mated or joined with this spirit, and I gave a seed of that shining love to this spirit, and it was planted in the Earth. Today, I have pulled two Tarot cards, and both of them have been the Ace of Pentacles, which I take as symbolism that a new Earth or new materiality is manifesting.

Then after this I was in the presence of a great multitude of spiritual masters. I saw Paramahansa Yogananda, the Hindu master from the 20th century, and he smiled at me with great joy. Then a long row of spiritual masters seemed to bow to an audience at what appeared to be some sort of performance. I have seen Yogananda before, but now he saw me, and he was glowing with beauty and joy. I understand this as they have been assisting me over the last 5 years, as I have worked to ascend.

I’m a transgender woman, and I believe in the power of psychedelics, and yet I got confirmation that both of these things absolutely do not matter to God last night. I think that the modern Christian church is not at all representative of the message of Jesus. The religious right is about as bankrupt as a spiritual movement of people that has ever existed on the planet in my view. But, here I am, certain that Christ is real. I also believe that Christ and Krishna are the same thing, and anyone can become Christ. The Christ is just a state of mind. It is the union of God and a human.

I am so peaceful today. My third eye feels as though there is a flame burning in it, and my heart is deeply peaceful and happy. I’m not trying to convert people to Christianity. I think Christianity is a religion that has been hijacked by rather demonic forces. Donald Trump wants to do “extreme vetting” on Muslim travelers, well I honestly think we should do that with these so called Christians who have been extremely happy to murder millions in Christ’s name. I consider myself more of a Gnostic Christian, but really I don’t believe in religion. We have to focus on ourselves not build some institution to save the world. We can only save ourselves, and the world is deeply primitive in that respect.

I think if Jesus were alive today he would be posting on /r/Psychonaut or /r/Occult. So yeah, I believe in Jesus Christ. I don’t know how this happened! Help! Kidding… Jesus Christ was a great man. His followers, not so much. However, there are some unbelievably great Christians alive today. But they are usually the quiet ones just trying to be excellent and humble and loving people. They’re not the ones getting Botox before they go on camera in front of their “prosperity gospel” megachurch.

I hope that all of you can learn the joy and peace that Jesus really taught. I hope that you can get past the wolves in sheep’s clothing that stalk the land and poison the message of a great man. To quote Yogananda

“Jesus Christ is very much alive and active today. In Spirit and occasionally taking on a flesh-and-blood form, he is working unseen by the masses for the regeneration of the world. With his all-embracing love, Jesus is not content merely to enjoy his blissful consciousness in Heav­en. He is deeply concerned for mankind and wishes to give his followers the means to attain the divine freedom of entry into God’s Infinite Kingdom. He is disappointed because many are the churches and temples founded in his name, often prosperous and powerful, but where is the communion that he stressed — actual contact with God? Jesus wants temples to be established in human souls, first and foremost; then established outwardly in physical places of worship. Instead, there are countless huge edifices with vast congregations being indoctrinated in churchianity, but few souls who are really in touch with Christ through deep prayer and meditation.

I am working with all my might to make the world a more joyous, united, and wonderful place. I send out my joy in meditation, and through the spirit of Christ, I’ve learned how to amplify and radiate this love. Peace be to you all. Happy tripping, make gay love, and Jesus loves you. 🙂