Tag: enlightenment

I learned to check my assumptions, and it saved my life

The Internet is “the Prover” from “the Thinker and the Prover” on overdrive. If you think that you are totally helpless, oppressed, and persecuted, your internal prover is going to link up with the technological prover called the Internet and deliver a world that perfectly matches your thinker’s paradigm. As a transgender woman, I’ve had to work hard to get out from under the torrent of “proof” that my life is going to be miserable and fraught with disaster because I’m a persecuted minority. Of course I am a persecuted minority, but that in no way means that I will suffer because of it. Often now I can’t even talk to people in my community because their prover has so convinced them that their life will be one long sad march of woe. There appears to be a tendency to malign the optimists within minority groups in my culture (the US).

However, real systemic injustices do exist, and we need to see them remediated, but as individual actors, I believe that in order to have a sound psychological mechanism within our consciousness, we need to be aware of how insidious the Prover can be and constantly check our assumptions in order to see if they are appropriate. Often just by challenging the narrative that says I am an ant under a boulder of persecution by privileged tyrants, I am called some sort of reactionary right-winger. I just want to live a middle pillar life where I balance my persecution against the real agency I do have in my day to day life. 

I lived for decades with the notion that my life was meaningless and riddled with terror, and unsurprisingly it ended with me repeatedly trying to kill myself. Then I reached the realization that I had personal, spiritual power that could be grown through intentional, sometimes described as magickal, action. When I woke up from that I realized that I had merely been carrying water for people who wished to see me weak and dispirited. This water goes back to the medieval church and even further of course. I realized in a near death experience that I was being played, and I don’t really know all of the mechanics of what went on, but I believe I became spiritually integrated with my higher self who had no time for self-loathing. 

I’m not trying to prescribe a specific path other than to say that one should question her principles and thoughts. See where they come from. They might not be your own, and they might be poisoning you. And with the advent of the Internet, they can poison you very quickly.

A Few Words

God gave you a left hand and a right hand. On one side there are things that happen to you and you’re the victim or receptive or yin. On the other side, you are the actor, the thinker, the yang. You can’t reduce it to one. It’s both, well at least both. I’m not that smart enough to know how many hands reality has. But you can’t say that you’re a total victim, and you can’t say that you’re a total egotistical controller. We’re all both in varying degrees. So can we please meet in the center? Can we have a mosh pit of love and understanding. I know that some people are “unrelatable” but people change. I used to be a frothing right winger. I grew up. Let’s all stop being total know-it-alls that are completely convinced that the other side is wrong. Certainty is poison. There is no certainty in a complicated system of oppositional actors. Humility, Please?!
By the way, WTF is wrong with you Donald Trump. I’m talking to you as one of those horrible trannies that you want to cleanse out of the military. (BTW, only we can say tranny. Don’t fucking say it if you’re not a tranny.) Grow the fuck up motherfucker! Simmer down my brother. You’re not fucking Christ. Lord. The amount of intellectual certainty in this budding Aquarian Age is just too much. Yeah, we kind of know things because of science, but science is wrong every day.
OK I feel better. It’s such a fucking disaster. Center. Breath. Ground. Know that you’re a dumb ass ape. Life is work.
I’m drunk, but hey, I can write a few words.

Realize that you are being purposefully distracted from yourself. Turn it all off.

Don’t watch TV. Don’t listen to the radio. Don’t read the newspaper. Stop about 90% of your thinking. Stop wanting to consume and control everything. There is a frequency jammer that is flooding you with misinformation so that you won’t figure out your own spiritual machinery.

“Hmm, I had a weird emotion, maybe I should take a look at my inner life…”

“NOOO!!!! Here’s a football game!! Here’s a pizza with chicken in the crust!! Here’s a naked woman!!”

“Oh, ok. I guess I won’t look at my inner life.”

“Now that’s a good boy…”

Go to your room. Be alone. Turn off all of the non-essential feeds that are stuffing you full of nonsense that doesn’t matter. Take psychedelics. Talk to your inner self. Pray. Meditate. Levitate. See God. Give up. Find the real Jesus the super yogi, not the lie that you learned in Sunday School to keep you from the real truth. Learn a mantra. Clear your mind. Be happy doing zero for at least 30 minutes a day. You don’t have to sit like Buddha to meditate. Just stop thinking.

You’ll clear up. Your spirit will reset. You’ll be fine. And you’ll realize that there has always been a light shining on you. It never left you. It’s just that there was all that pollution clouding it up.

Then you’ll just want to play and dance! You’ll still be able to survive. Trust me, you will. But you’ll have peace! peace.

peace…

🙂

 

Why as a Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Jew and Transgender Woman I believe in Jesus Christ

I must say that to be a thinking person with an honest heart and to be a believing Christian is just about as difficult today as it was in the 1st century when Rome was committed to crush this newborn belief system. But today, it is difficult because the church has lost the message of Christ. If the temple is the worshipers, then the money changers are right back where they were before Christ threw them out. It might not always be money that they are changing; the true sin of those merchants was to equate holiness with material things which is best described by the phrase “spiritual materialism.” The church of today, as evinced by the gross and sinful election of Donald Trump as a “Christian President,” is rotten and in a decay so deep that it is difficult to say if even Christ can resurrect this body spiritual.

But in the spirit of Christ, which is the eternal personification of God, all things are possible. This phrase sounds wholly hollow because of its modern status as a cliche, but it is true. It has just not been fully translated into the modern system of language. But God has revealed this translation to me through vision, synchronicity, joy, and rebirth. I have grown the Christ within my heart, and now it is my salvation. I did not go through the Christian church to reach Christ; I actually went to China and India to find Christ, but he was there, as he was even before his birth in Nazarus.

The Christian Gospels are actually quite spare in many of the details in how to create this alchemical Christ within your spiritual heart. I believe that this knowledge was suppressed when the Roman authorities adopted Christianity as the state religion. As we now know from the discovery of the Gnostic library at Nag Hammadi, there was a purge of minority opinions in the 4th century following the Council at Nicaea and the subsequent decision to establish the church around what would become known as Catholic ideas as codified by Saint Augustus and similar thinkers. This position created the impersonal Christ who could only be reached through the Papacy and its priestly caste. This disseminated the notion that true gnosis, or the direct communication with God, was impossible to the average layperson, and in effect it did become impossible as the tools by which one could communicate with God were lost in the atrophy of this spiritual knowledge.

I went to Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and mystical Judaism to relearn these techniques. They are hidden in those systems as well, and it takes a great amount of perseverance to discover them. But there is a way. One must fully break down the modern way of perceiving the world in order to have the truth revealed. We are all quite sick in our pervasive negativism and nihilism. We worship the negative, and then we are surprised when the negative takes the throne to rule. I was victim to this way of thinking for decades, and I was suicidal because of it. I was hopeless, lost, and constantly wanting for peace.

But five years ago, a miracle occurred in my life. I was possessed and overtaken by the spirit of God in a courthouse in California. My body became but a puppet to this powerful force, and it spoke through me. It was supreme confidence. It only lasted for an hour or so, and I was deeply troubled by it, but the actions that this spirit took effectively dismantled my previous life and set me on a new path. Because of this mystery, my life was forever changed. I committed myself to understand what had happened. And today I am confident that I understand as best I as I can. I don’t have supreme understanding, but I know that I walk in the right direction. Clarity is developing, but I have faith.

I have relearned the techniques of gnosis, and God has revealed in a mysterious manner what is true. These truths have been given in such a way so as to build my faith brick by brick. And now, my temple is strong. And the curious thing is that after my sojourn in the Eastern ways of thought, the Christ of my youth has been revealed to me in a new light. I see his beauty. I understand that to truly see Christ, you must walk as Christ did. His last commandment was to “love each other as I have loved you,” which simply means that one must become the Christ to see the Christ.

It is not simply through going to a church, getting baptized, and yelling “I’m saved!” that you are reborn. This is foolishness and the growth of this materialistic perspective has poisoned the church. One must be baptized from within to be reborn. There are waters within your consciousness that must cleanse your soul, AND you must choose to discard your selfish ego in favor of your spirit of service and piety. This is the only way to be saved. And this is not just a Christian truth, this is a human truth. There are many who have been saved in such a fashion in all faiths. The faith is just a map. You must walk the path within your heart to true salvation.

Only then will you see God. You must become a tempered sword of the good, where love, service, and humility are your strongest weapons. You must become a star whose core is powered by the fusion of your individual and the all; then the light of love will explode around you.

I have seen in prophetic vision that Christ did not die on the cross. He is still there; I have looked out from his eyes. He fully merged with God on that cross, and his kingdom is still glowing from that spot. I am now on that cross with him as millions of others are. I am happily splayed wide open, helpless, dead to the desires of the world. I am not yet fully completed, but I am so changed that there is peace in my heart. I know that I am walking to that kingdom, and because I walk to the kingdom, I am already there.

When you transcend your human life, you move outside of time and into the eternal. The people around you might see that you have died, but your spirit will live. Christ created a new heavenly kingdom, and many have gone to live within that kingdom of love. I will go there someday. In fact, I am already there. I have become a conduit for this love. I can choose to give this up and fall back into the unreal and dead, but I choose to walk into the light, knowing that persecution will follow. But this is fine. I have been prepared.

And I have been told that my choice to live as a transgender person is sanctioned. I know that it is not my gender presentation that is sinful; it is the desires in my heart that separate me from God. You can be whatever presentation or expression you like as long as you are a good and decent person and walk the true path.

Also, drugs are not evil per se. Some drugs like psychedelic chemicals, if used properly, can be great tools for realizing the truth of God. However, addiction to drugs is a terrible menace to your salvation, and you must become free of this and only use drugs voluntarily. I have struggled mightily with this, and I have overcome through grace and choice. I used to be an alcoholic, and today I am free from this bondage. But I still use psychedelic chemicals in my practice of gnosis.

I did not set out to believe in Christ. And I believe that the Christ spirit can be known by many paths, but I have been shown this truth, and I have peace. Choose love, humility, peace, defenselessness, and joy and become as a little child. Then you will be free. Love is waiting for you. Joy is your birthright.

Thich Nhat Hanh: “God is a Lesbian…”

01:19 pm – Thich Nhat Hanh : “God is a lesbian…”
Excerpt from Dharma Talk given by Thich Nhat Hanh on July 20, 1998 in Plum Village, France.

Question : “Dear Thay, I feel very well and safe here in Plum Village, but there were times in my life when I experienced discrimination, so there is one question which really interests me. What does Buddhism say about homosexuality?”

Reply: “Discrimination is something that many of us know, and there were times when we wanted to cry out for justice. You might be tempted by violent means in order for injustice to be removed. There are very many of us who are seeking non-violent means in order to remove injustice and discrimination imposed on us. Sometimes those discriminating against us act in the name of God, of the truth. We may belong to the third world, or we may belong to a particular race, we may be people of color, we may be gay or lesbian, and we have been discriminated against for thousands of years. So how to work on it, how to liberate ourselves from the suffering of being a victim of discrimination and oppression? In Christianity it is said that God created everything, including man, and there is a distinction made between the creator and the creature. The creature is something created by God. When I look at a rose, a tulip, or a chrysanthemum, I know, I see, I think, that this flower is a creation of God. Because I have been practicing as a Buddhist, I know that between the creator and the created there must be some kind of link, otherwise creation would not be possible. So the chrysanthemum can say that God is a flower, and I agree, because there must be the element “flower” in God so that the flower could become a reality. So the flower has the right to say that God is a flower.

“The white person has the right to say that God is white, and the black person also has the right to say that God is black. In fact, if you go to Africa, you’ll see that the Virgin Mary is black. If you don’t make the statue of the Virgin Mary black, it does not inspire people. Because to us the black people, “black is beautiful,” so a black person has the right to say that God is black, and in fact I also believe that God is black, but God is not only black, God is also white, God is also a flower. So when a lesbian thinks of her relationship with God, if she practices deeply, she can find out that God is also a lesbian. Otherwise how could you be there? God is a lesbian, that is what I think, and God is gay also. God is no less. God is a lesbian, but also a gay, a black a white, a chrysanthemum. It is because you don’t understand that, that you discriminate.

“When you discriminate against the black or the white, or the flower, or the lesbian, you discriminate against God, which is the basic goodness in you. You create suffering all around you, and you create suffering within yourself, and it is delusion, ignorance, that is the basis of your action, your attitude of discrimination. If the people who are victims of discrimination practice looking deeply, they will say that I share the same wonderful relationship with God, I have no complex. Those who discriminate against me, do so because of their ignorance. “God, please forgive them, because they do not know what they are doing.” If you reach that kind of insight, you will no longer get angry at that person who discriminates against you, and you might have compassion toward him or her. You will say: “He does not know what he is doing. He is creating a lot of suffering around him and within him. I will try to help him.” So your heart opens like a flower and suffering is no longer there, you have no complex at all, and you turn to be a bodhisattva in helping the people who have been discriminating against you. That is the way I see it, out of my practice of looking deeply, so one day I made the statement that God is a lesbian, and this is my insight.”

My name is ZeroNom

“‘Cyclops, you asked my noble name, and I will tell it; but do you give the stranger’s gift, just as you promised. My name is Nobody. Nobody I am called by mother, father, and by all my comrades.’

The Odyssey

I have many names, but my truest name is nothing. Therefore, I have adopted the pseudonym of ZeroNom, which means Zero (from the Sanskrit Śūnyatā meaning emptiness and voidness) Nom (from the Latin root for name). Life was previously a struggle, until the goodness beyond my control decided to drop a heavy cross upon my shoulders. This cross presented me with the option of sitting down and dying or pushing forward and dropping all weight from my ego so as to compensate. At first I chose the former. Then, through providence, I chose the latter. Now, through grace and mercy, I have come to see that letting all preconceptions of name, rank, family, wealth, class, and all other designations of the human social condition I have become free.

The funny thing is that I didn’t choose this name, or lack of name, on purpose. It was a subconscious whisper of fate. But, as with many things on this journey, in retrospect it has proven to be perfect. My God is the void, that from which springs all form. I know it as the Tao, God, Brahman, Keter, and many other names. I have sought to become one with the void, and I have had to die to the forms with which I used to identify. Through this happy death, worry has diminished. I am not the void now, but I am going there, or I am there, or whatever. With the non-dual void, words begin to fail. I also know it as love.

Also, I follow the words of Lao Tzu:

One who seeks knowledge learns something
new every day.
One who seeks the Tao unlearns something
new every day.
Less and less remains until you arrive
at non-action. [*]
When you arrive at non-action,
nothing will be left undone.

Tao Te Ching chapter 48

Be well my friends. Have a noble day.

ZeroNom

Be a child of love. Be helpless. Be real. Be free.

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Some weird middle eastern homeless refugee said that. You descend to this world as a child. Children are closer to the source, God, the light. This world uses karma to grab onto these children and greedily tries to keep them here. But you must let that karma have your body. And then you will be like a child, and you will go back to the source. You must embrace death, and give it your love. I have been blessed with pain and exclusion from society. God chose me to go on my shamanic journey, and to do so, I had to be kicked out. I was born with a statistically different gender expression, and this helped me to see what is real. Then I was given visions and possessions and strange abilities. I have been spoon fed back into the kingdom.

Now I am like a weird American sometimes homeless gender refugee. And I am deeply blessed. My heart vibrates with deep peace. The water of the spirit has baptized me. I have returned to the garden. I will give this body to the world someday. But for now, I shine the lamp in my forehead, and I continue walking, through the pain, fear, and “misfortune.” I will not die, because I was never born. I just became infatuated with illusion, and this world manifested. Now I am infatuated with God, and its world is manifesting again. But it is all really just God, or me, or both, or whatever? Who cares. I know where I’m going, which is nowhere. Ha! 🙂

Om Mani Padme Hum
The world is only really love

The New World and the Water Bearer

Heaven is here. Heaven is coming. A new world is being created. It will not be like this world. You will not have to fight amongst each other for your life energy. That is the cruel reality of this world, the fallen world. This world is cannibalistic. The new world will be powered by inner radiation from God. You will be able to think of any situation, and it will arise. This is already happening more strongly as the two worlds split apart. Your intention plus your cosmic God energy will power your existence. It will be different. This world is rapidly degrading as energy is being shifted to the new world. I am a bridge to that new world. I can help you to go there.

In the Gospel of Mark it is written that “So He sent two of His disciples and told them, “Go into the city, and a man carrying a pitcher of water will meet you. Follow him and whichever house he enters, say to the owner, ‘The Teacher asks: Where is My guest room, where I may eat the Passover with My disciples?’ And he will show you a large upper room, furnished and ready. Make preparations for us there.”

This is a cryptic reference to two things. First it is a reference to the sign of Aquarius which is illustrated as a man carrying a pitcher of water. In the time of the gospels, the world was still in the Age of Pisces. I won’t go into a full astrology lesson here, but we have moved into the Age of Aquarius. Also, when he says that “he will show you a large upper room, furnished and ready” this is the new world that is being created at present. My birth name is important as it means Aquarius in another language. I do not know everything at present, but I am aware that I am important in this change. I am learning through my teachers. But I have seen this world. I am a vessel. I am a passage. I needn’t know every detail at present. The link is established through my consciousness. Focus on the new Earth, and you will go there. Focus on this Earth, and you will stay here.

Praise be to my suffering, my greatest guru

I thank God for my suffering! It is through this miraculous gift that I have been cleansed so that I may see the true reality. His curses are my blessings. But I have never starved. I have never frozen. I have always eaten well. I have always been cared for even in my most wanting. Much horror has passed before my eyes, but I am honored to have seen this suffering and to walk through it nobly. Now, there is only God, Brahman, Keter, the Elohim. I am made whole by being broken. I am made to live by tasting death. My fears have died, and my eye looks only upon that light above. I know I will have bliss for the rest of my days, because I know pain, and I expect pain. It is nothing now. Just an annoyance. I will falter, but it is my test. I walk forward with a happy heart, my eyes open to the joy because the pain is expected. I am a happy nothing with the world before me.

The New Day is Now

Everything is new. Love is the triumph. The planet is throwing off its ugly old shell. The butterfly is emerging from the chrysalis. It’s wings are spread so wide open. A new day is dawning. Through birth pains there is new life. The butterfly soars into the air! It’s wings whip in fluttering ecstasy! It bounces through the air alive with the spirit of new imagination. And everything around echoes in concordance creating a symphony of exclamatory transcendence! This is the new day! Yes!

It is now.

Because we’ve had about enough of that crap, haven’t we?

Soar!

Wake Up or Just Go Back to Sleep

We are hurtling towards truth at blinding speed. We must choose to engage with life or go back to sleep. Life is screaming Wake Up! and so many people just want to snooze. We are creating this reality with our thoughts. It is our collective dream. We must download the correct software into our consciousness. The correct software is openness, fearlessness, bravery, courage, optimism, union, coordination, love, God, trust, sacrifice, honesty, communication, emotion, strength, gratitude, and glory. That’s just a start. Every life is precious. Go to the light of love and be awakened. It is waiting for you.

Enlightenment has nothing to do with making society a better place. You must give up your notions of what a “better society” is. Learn to let go, let go, let go…

I see a lot of young people in my country, the US, thinking that becoming spiritually enlightened is all about “peace, love, and harmony.” OK, maybe those things flow out of a person who is truly enlightened, but you can’t pursue those things in hopes of becoming enlightened. Enlightenment is letting go. It is leaving your desires behind. It is accepting that the world is empty and will never be a “good world” or a “bad world.” If you frame your enlightenment experience around the desire to have peace, love, and harmony, when those things begin to be challenged, you will lash out with anger at the “enemies” who are disrupting your personal enlightenment. Enlightenment means that whatever happens happens. If the world becomes overrun by zombies, then cool. If you can’t be calm thinking about never becoming enlightened, then you won’t be enlightened.

There is a reason that we think of people becoming enlightened after going through terrible ordeals. When you go through a very painful ordeal, and you survive, you realize that happiness and peace of mind are not attached to your perceived rightness or wrongness of a situation.

Also, in my experience, enlightenment is not typically just a realization. Someone could tell you that enlightenment is knowing that everything is empty, but you really have to be that truth to become enlightened. It is a journey, not a slogan. You must break apart your karmic body using this truth. You must test yourself according to the notion of emptiness. You have thousands of echoes of karma resonating throughout your being, and those must be stripped away. There is a lot of momentum in your pain and conditioned responses to the stimuli of life. I suppose that your physical, spiritual, and intellectual bodies have to come into alignment. The intellectual body might be an easy change, but the other two will probably take time.

And who knows if you’re fully enlightened? It’s best to not even acknowledge that you may or not be enlightened. Enlightenment is transparency. Enlightenment is silence. Then again it’s not. It’s beyond words. And if you’re truly enlightened, you won’t need to prove it to anyone lol.

Lastly, I have a hint that enlightenment is like a seed growing into a mighty tree. The seed doesn’t know how it grows into the tree, but when it does, it knows it is bigger than the seed. The tree looks at the world of the seeds and would probably laugh at the worries of the seeds. The material world is the world of the seeds. How can a seed know what the view of the tree is like? Until the seed becomes a tree, it has no frame of reference and therefore cannot understand fully. So any map trying to show what happened when the seed was growing into the tree would probably be mostly useless. The tree can just speak in metaphors from its memory of being a seed, and this would be incomplete at best.

And the tree might experience “peace, love, and harmony” because it is bigger and more established. But it had to die to being a seed first. It had to let go of its seedness and journey blindly into the unknown.