Tag: hinduism

My separateness is now a broken water balloon, submerged in the infinite water it once tried to contain. Here is a false account of how that happened.

Some thoughts on acceptance that I’ve recently witnessed:

When someone speaks a sentence to us, such as, “the sky is blue,” we assume that our two response paths are to agree or to disagree. “No! The sky is indeed chartreuse!” OR “Yes, I agree, the sky is blue.” However, both disagreement and agreement are a form of domination and separation because they invoke the construct of “I” as in “I agree with what YOU are saying” or “I disagree with YOU.” We tend to think that agreement is a form of connection, but it is more of a treaty between parties, establishing a kind of parallel congruence of perspective. “We both separately have a similar perspective” is another way of phrasing it and better expresses the true nature of agreement.

There is always the third option, silence or receptivity. Not taking a stand either for or against what has been communicated to us is a response in itself, but the mind cannot “thing” it, so it tends to disregard it as useless and essentially avoidant of what the mind sees as its duty to respond. With receptivity, the heart invokes the infinite response: acceptance. Instead of trying to contain what the person has spoken to us, we just let what was expressed fly around, watching the words that have been spoken.

This is not a bear

But to the mind, neutrality is perceived as a kind of death because it cannot be held conceptually in the mind. It is too big for the mind, and in reality, it is infinite, beyond form. This is symbolized by the second hexagram in the Chinese Yi Jing: The Receptive, The Primordial Yin, The Great Mother. This is the obscured truth in sayings like “being reborn in the spirit” or “dying to the flesh in order to attain to eternal life.” If we can pause agreement or disagreement, the infinite is allowed to exist. When we decide to agree or disagree, we look at the metaphorical clouds in the sky and say “that cloud looks like a lion” or “that cloud looks like a bear.” A concept of a lion or bear is just an icon on your desktop; it is not the application itself. It is a crude reduction of a bear in the world to a stick figure abstraction in our heads.

This is also part of the truth of the Zen Koan: “If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.” The Buddha nature is beyond form, beyond words; it is like a bird that has broken out of the egg (form or word) and is now free to fly around. You if you can contain a “Buddha” in your head as a concept, it is not the real Buddha, and you should throw away the concept. When it was contained within the metaphorical eggshell, it was finite.

When we break out of our finite shells, the mind goes nuts because it loses all of its power to contain and trap those bears and lions floating in the sky. But in reality, it never did trap those things. Words and forms are never static. The mind deludes itself into thinking that it can trap things in cages called words because it believes itself to be a contained thing, a separate “mind” which is predictably “better” than other minds if you ask its rank.

This is not my ego

Last night, I had a vision last night that I was in a giant pool, and then I was the water, all of the water, beyond measurement. And then I was actually with God or the Primordial Yang, the Creative. But I had to kill the idea of self. I can’t describe it in full because words are finite, and I experienced infinity. At first, I was a giant water balloon, stressed to enormous capacity. And then I was inverted, or I was unbounded. And so, from now on I want to use the word Unbound for God, because it is more appropriate.

I also had a vision of the infinite field of reality, and I saw faces on the field, and they were individuals that had submitted to the divine internal marriage between self and the divine. They merged with the field itself, not the image on top of the field. They had stopped being the human shaped cloud, and had become the infinite sky. In this way, by cracking the egg that contained them, they became beyond form. And in this way, they had attained to heaven and are now infinite and eternal. In this way, I am eternal. However, that sentence is wrong. Eternal is. I am the egg that was broken. I am the one who has gone, the tathāgata, of the Hindus and Buddhists. So, one does not attain to heaven or attain to eternal life. One unattains being bound, closed, to take flight as the Unbound and infinite.

Butterflies aren’t real

And yet, all humans are born infinite. They think themselves bound and contained, but this containment is a dictatorship of the mind and is a delusion. We are caterpillars who have forgotten their butterfly and moth nature. We are fully formed birds, who make ourselves in the shape of eggs to appease the demands of a gaslighting mind. We walk the Earth, bemoaning that we, like Pinocchio, are not real boys, when all along, we have always been fully real, merely deluded into believing ourselves as separate, compulsively trying to find others to manipulate into mirroring our delusion of separateness back to us.

May you first know of the Unbound in measure. Then may you be a fully empty vessel, a contained jar of the Unbound, which is formless and empty to the mind. And lastly, may you smash the shell of the jar in your mind, receive the Unbound as a lover, and become infinite and eternal. This is a journey like that of Frodo in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, who must return the ring of separateness to the fires of Mount Doom. The journey destroy’s his mind’s ability to maintain the delusion of separation, the trollish Gollum serving to illustrate the mind’s delusion at full force.

The mind will warn you vociferously that becoming infinite means being annihilated, but this is because the mind cannot see beyond the event horizon of the black hole of infinity. What is on the other side of the event horizon? Peace. The heart can see beyond the event horizon. May you follow it mindlessly to silence, receptivity, peace, and eternity, never to return.

Lastly, what you have just read is full of lies. The unbound is beyond verification. These words are a stick figure of truth, a crude imitation of the art of truth, purchased at the gift shop on the way out of the museum of the Unbound. May they point you toward truth as I have been so directed.

The Wheel of Samsara

The people need their fix
gotta get up to the tower’s rent
the perfect people
that’s what I want!
take this pain, dissatisfaction
replace it with
a blissful reaction
I’ll sell my soul to pharma’s lore
that all my problems
will one day bore me
it’s the end
the judgment’s here!
A pill a day
will make me clear

But it’s just a fool’s parade
phony props and cellophane
smiling, photoshopped creations utter
on TV like horrid clutter
There is no left great white hope
there is only stolen makeup
plastered onto meth burnt bones
ya know
I never liked this show
please change it

Life will always burn
will always be too cold
or too blazing hot
the table’s always tilting
sending scrambling gentries galloping gaily
at some new white windmill in the sky
you’ll be back here when you die
you’ll be back here when you die

So I sit and stare
out the window with no glare
counting beads to win a dare
that a sloth could beat the hare