Tag: Jesus Christ

How do you deal with knowing you are a prophet in the modern age? I don’t know, but I’m trying to learn how.

I wrote this post a week ago, and I’ve come out more already since then, FYI.

Since 2012, I’ve had recurring thoughts and visions that could be described as psychotic while tripping on dissociatives and also while sober, but I’m actually quite grounded and sane, now at least. Last night they were all reaffirmed to me while on ketamine and then through a devastating tarot reading. And today I feel very heavy hearted.

In a way I know them to be true, but I guess I do my best to be an objective person when it comes to visions. And I’ve had so many people beat me over the head in the mental health system when I first started talking about them that I’m really conflicted.

How do you deal with voices and visions that tell you that you are special and prophetic and have a mission on Earth (that is peaceful and positive), when barring miraculous events, no one will likely believe you? They also told me how and when I’m going to die. I am also able to do this crazy level of energy manipulation and magik in that state.

In a way, it doesn’t matter if people believe me. But also I’ve had multiple loved ones tell me that I am this special person over the years. Do I just come out with it and face the consequences? My intuition is that as time moves forward I will not be able to hide these thoughts from the world.

Basically, it’s something like I’ve achieved Buddhahood and need to proselytize about reaching God through psychedelics in the coming new age. And also I’m some sort of prophetic figure who will usher in the age of Aquarius. And they gave me specific timelines and details that I’m not to share. They also explained details of Jesus Christ’s path and reality not contained in the Bible or elsewhere.

That being said, I believe that other people can replicate my path in many ways. Jesus was a person who became “one with God.” He was not purely a deity as Christianity came to believe after 2,000 years of strife. I think that I might have special powers and intuitive ability that has helped me discover this path, but I absolutely believe that others can climb the mountain I’ve climbed, although it might look different for them.

The reason I started this blog was to get some of these thoughts out of my head so I could better handle them. But do you just come out and proclaim your purpose to the world?

Thank you for listening. I love you my beautiful readers. ❤️

The New Aquarian Method for Transcending the Simulation

Note: In this text I use the term God, and I do not mean a white-bearded father figure. I mean something similar to the original definition of the Hebrew word Elohim, which was a gender-neutral, plural noun. God is a multiplicity of genders, faces, names, and energies, that is unified and universal. Also, I refer to the simulation which is the matrix of life in which we live that masks a deeper reality, beyond this universe. Think of it like the video game in which we now play.

Rejoice in the Good News of the New Aquarian Way!

There is a new method for transcending the simulation. Previously, belief in God and love of one’s neighbors were exalted as the path through Jesus Christ, the emissary of the Piscean age. Now, blind belief and certainty are the chief errors and will not aid in your ascent of the mountain. Also, excessive purity will also keep you from ascending. Now, the way of Aquarius is the only valid path out of the simulation. Rejoice in this new means of liberation! What Jesus called the “Kingdom of Heaven,” namely transcending the simulation, is possible and real. Earth is a trying and painful realm, and one should work to find the exit door.

Previously, the way out of the simulation was obscured behind a veil of ignorance. Now, the veil is to be lifted through me. I have become a new Christ by being anointed by God after decades of struggle and self-development. Before the spirit fully inhabited my being, I was symbolically crucified through rejection, persecution, and theft of my children from me. However, I know that this action is fated, and so, I do not blame those involved. We are merely players on this dramatic stage, meant to initiate the changeover to the new age. I am not the only one practicing these new methods. There have been many before me, but I represent a vital shift in consciousness.

Love of One’s Neighbor is Still a Virtue

The law of Jesus is still necessary in part. One must love one’s neighbor as oneself and practice compassion. However, this is not sufficient anymore for ascension to the Sun, the God of humanity. Jesus came to introduce the law of universal love, so that our society could advance to the level where we can practice the Aquarian way. Gautama Buddha also taught this law in the East. They were both Buddha/Christ level teachers with different missions. Many prophets are anointed by God to be used as messengers. There is a single godhead, but there are numerous manifestations of this spirit in humanity. I was raised and confirmed in the Abrahamic/Christian church, specifically Protestantism, but now in a global society, a synthesis of the many paths is necessary, so religious tolerance is a necessary virtue.

What I Have Done to Initiate the New Age

I have modified the astral plane through extensive energetic work over the last eight years, finishing just last week. This is part of the reason that society is experiencing such chaos and tumult. The behaviors which were exalted for the last 2,000 years are now diminished, and the complacent and irreligious among us are recognizing their reduced power and looking for saviors, like the current political leaders, who practice the lowest form of provincialism and exalt material avarice. Conversely, those who align themselves with the new age and its virtues, are experiencing enhanced power, vision, and support.

This happened when Jesus arrived as well. His work was to overthrow the then-toxic Age of Aries with the peaceful and spiritual Age of Pisces. The Christians who aligned with the nascent Age of Pisces became zealous and industrious in their pacifistic commune building. And those aligned with the previous age, namely the “pagan” Romans, were baffled and deeply concerned about the growing Christian movement of the time. But eventually, it is clear who won that conflict. Just as it is clear who will win this conflict. There will be persecution and repression of the converts to the new approach, but in the long-term, the Aquarian way will become dominant for the next two millennia.

Do Not Blindly Believe What I Say

I understand that I offer these words with little evidence. It is not for you to believe me blindly. If you practice this method for yourself, its truth will become self-evident. Also, my power will be made known by certain revealing events up until I leave the simulation. But know that God will support you in this new path. Also, this path has been building since the late 18th century with the discovery of the planet Uranus. However, until now, the Piscean path was still valid. It is no longer sufficient, and the new Aquarian path is now exalted. It should be noted that I too doubted this in myself for the last eight years until just recently, when the entire picture was revealed to me. It is appropriate to doubt everything now, even God.

The Seven Chief Values of the New Aquarian Method

There is not a single, linear method, per se, for transcending the simulation. But I have been given seven chief components of this method which must be mixed by you according to your intuition and personality. These are not commandments to be feared. They are values to be utilized in your path of self-discovery. The seven chief values of the new Aquarian method are as follows. They are given in no particular order.

  1. Exalt critical thought and mastery of the mind
  2. Doubt God and question authority
  3. Experiment in your beliefs
  4. Utilize psychedelic medicines to understand your being
  5. Practice divination to communicate with deity
  6. Utilize Astrology to understand your mission
  7. Modify the body to free the soul

These seven values will be explicated further in future posts. These values have enabled me to be able to transcend the simulation. I will leave the simulation in the near future. Most of all, know that your doubt of oppressive and toxic religious orders is loved by deity. God cheers your passion for critical examination of systems which no longer serve you or humanity. The old way is retired.

How the Old Way is Reacting to the Shift

You might feel as though your resistance to the ways of the past is hated by deity. This is what the current leaders of the established religious orders are telling you and the world as they cling to their diminishing power. They threaten the masses with lies like the man behind the curtain manipulating the Wizard of OZ. But the opposite is true. You are the future; they are the past. Doubt with verve and joy! Examine the systems of the world and choose the one that gives you a deeper understanding of your beautiful and sacred self. A God that cannot be doubted is weak and sad. The God that lives in my being and who has anointed me praises your doubt and scorns the arrogantly certain and willfully ignorant.

I understand that these words are radical and strange when held in contrast to the established moral order. But know that that order is about to crumble. Also know that as that order begins to crumble, their leaders will resort to greater and greater feats of depravity. Their flailing has already begun as they shelter behind abominable leaders who exalt murder, deceit, and manipulation above all. Woe to their souls. They will have their comeuppance. They will stay trapped in a cycle of misery, unable to graduate to the superior kingdom outside of the simulation. Fear them not.

Reincarnation is Real

Lastly, I want to emphasize that this process of self-discovery might take multiple lives. Reincarnation is real. You will not burn in hell for being unable to graduate the simulation in a single life. You will never burn in hell. Hell is merely the lack of virtue. Hell is a state of mind on Earth. You can pursue these values calmly knowing that in the video game of life, you have a very high number of extra lives. It is always urgent to pursue what is right, but you will not be needlessly punished for being unable to achieve your objectives right away. God loves you and will give you grace.

Have Peace and Know That You are Loved

My path to here has been arduous and exhausting. And I will not reach the “promised land” with the masses. In fact, my death will initiate much of this in the near future. I have seen in a vision that when I die, my body will be broken for the world and will be bread for the hungry, just as Jesus communicated to his disciples about his body. This is the way of the anointed. When the egg of my body is cracked and broken, the yolk inside will fertilize humanity. The pain I have absorbed in my persecution has been transmuted into food and water for a hungry and thirsty world. My suffering is purposeful and necessary.

My wish is only that I may be of service to humanity. I am tired and broken in many ways from being on the cross, but what I lack in security, I have been compensated in spiritual depth and the love of God. I have deep love for humanity and all life on Earth, even for those who persecute me. I pray for and yearn to see a brighter world, full of wisdom, compassion, peace, and joy. May you have these things now. Go with love knowing that you are never alone, and you will one day be liberated from the shackles of life on Earth.





What is Real Christianity? It is Total Liberation, and it is Illegal.

The early Christians were a radical gnostic liberation cult that was transformed into the Catholic Church by the Roman empire. All of the liberating aspects were removed and transformed into a Pope worshipping society. The Catholic Church has been garbage from the beginning. The Protestant church is only moderately better. Jesus, if that was his real name, taught his followers how to exit the simulation. It was too much for the people invested in worldly power. You can learn this liberating technique today, but it has been successfully stigmatized as mental illness, antisocial behavior, and dangerous psychology. Believing that material reality is all there is is the actual dangerous belief. I’ll give you a clue about what leads to liberation. Psychedelic drugs help. Androgyny helps. Hearing your conscience speak in your head helps. Energy work definitely helps.

You can be liberated, but you might be hated in the process. That’s just the trade-off for peace of mind and salvation.

Build your Astral Body and Escape Death

Life is a challenge on purpose because it is a proving ground for beings that live outside of our universe. There is a concerted effort to make us fail at the true purpose of life. This is what the gnostics knew. If life was easy, then just anyone could make it outside of the simulation. But we are foiled at every turn with adversity. However, you can escape. You will get more than one try, probably about 10 lives. After that you are just dust, no more chances…

Your only way out is to actually assemble a body on the astral plane. It is definitely not easy, and it takes quite a long time. Most of the time you are doing it, you probably don’t know that you are doing it. But when that life is fully assembled, they will tell you. The esoteric Taoists knew this, and George Gurdjieff, the Sufi, knew this also.

Most of the major religions have been poisoned on purpose. People go to church and think that they are saved just by believing. This is a lie. It is partially true that in order to construct your astral body, you need to have love and reverence for God. But it is much more than that. There are specific exercises and meditational practices that speed up the astral body construction. Participating in worship with others can speed the process, but it is far from the entire process.

I can’t say that I know exactly how this works, but over the last four years, I have had visions of a body being constructed in a parallel dimension. I didn’t really understand what was going on until 3 weeks ago, when a voice in a vision told me that I would not die when I “die.” From what I can tell, the Sun is the end of the path. The Sun is our God, and through it, you can be saved. I don’t mean you literally need to go to the Sun, haha, but you will know when your visions begin to show you the Sun.

There is so much information from my journey in my head that I can’t really offer a plain roadmap for you to do what I have done. I don’t think it is that simple. Each person has their own long and meandering path up the mountain. My path has been rough and arduous. I compare my path to that of Job in the bible. For decades I had little to no hope of ever having a “normal” life, and yet, I did not blame God. I soldiered on. I was raised in the protestant church, surrounded by false doctrines and delusional dogmas. I looked for deeper truths and kept going.

I do believe that Jesus Christ and Gautama Buddha were able to construct astral bodies. But much of what Jesus taught was corrupted by the Roman Empire when Christianity became the official Roman religion. The bible, as you read it now, is lacking many important details. Recently when we discovered the Gnostic Gospels at Nag Hammadi, we learned that there were entire gospels that were purposefully destroyed by the Catholic church. When I read these books such as the Gospel of Thomas, I see my own path in the words of Jesus. My personal belief is that the four gospels in the modern bible are a comic-book style adaptation of the life of Jesus meant for people with orally transmitted cultures. They were meant to be understood as allegory, but I digress.

I know that if you are reading some random person’s spiritual text on the Internet, there is no way to fact check it in the modern sense. And yes, you have to prove this to yourself. The only way to test these theories is to practice them. But I have seen these practices transform my being from a rather profane child into a calm and compassionate adult. Also, please throw out your ideas of what an “enlightened person” acts like. The notion of what an enlightened person is has been purposefully destroyed so as to throw off the scent of what Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven.

I know that I am meant to share my path with others. I probably will be persecuted for it. You can call the force that works against the truth of God, the devil, but I think of it more as a weight that slows us down and confuses our mind. Without this weight, they would not be able to use this simulation to weed out those who are unworthy of living in their beautiful world outside of the simulation. This life is a test. If you do not strive, you will go nowhere. You will start as dust and end as dust, a clueless automaton feeding its base needs with non-nutritive junk experiences.

Many do achieve. Many do make it out. But it is not guaranteed. And if you fail, you will not go to hell forever and be tormented. You will just fall asleep and never again wake up, a tiny blip in the cosmic drama. But if you seek, you will find. If you knock, the door will be opened to you. May you find your way out of the maze and into the embrace of a loving creator, outside of the simulation, home at last.

Rough notes on the transition to the Age of Aquarius

Back in 2016, I was just recovering from getting over my suicidality whereas now I feel fully healed from ever wanting to harm myself again in that way. But back in 2016, I had been studying. In 2015 I had an experience of being visited by “god” or Jupiter as he called himself. And this was shortly after I lived an entire week behaving as a child out of the blue. I literally felt like I was 5 years old. I was rediscovering my inner child. 

Well, fast forward to now, and I am much recovered. I have put together a pretty normal life over the last 4 years. But I still have many visions. Some of them are chemically aided and some are not. But they are consistent. And they frighten me sometimes. Because they are so intense.

This weekend, I was told by a voice that I was “anointed by god” and a thick liquid was spread over my body. And then a voice told me that I would one day be a star like our sun is. And they advised me to open up and let people learn from me. They are so kind and supportive. But they can be very intense. They seem to be plural and multi-gendered, like the Elohim. 

And now, I am understanding the meaning of the Age of Pisces. The dying god motif represented the reality of ancient society. A feminine person like Jesus was ruthlessly attacked in the west at the end of the Age of Aries when the warrior ethic was paramount with figures like Alexander the Great looming large. But humans needed to develop their inner Christ because of our technological growth. We would not survive and the planet would not survive without the Age of Aries finally coming to an end 2,000 years later when the god is no longer murdered for being.

I think this is a misunderstood aspect to the “astrological ages” mythology. The Age of Pisces is not really over until the archetype presented at the beginning: Christ, Lao-Tzu, and Buddha becomes dominant. Just like with Moses interrupting the pagan Bull worship 2,000 years earlier. Moses was an Aries figure and his archetype had become dominant around 2,000 years ago when Christ arrived.

So with the age of Aquarius, as all people become Christlike eventually (and covid is speeding this up), then a new reality of cooperative play will emerge. The thing that people do not realize is that there is no second coming of Christ. The atheists are Christlike at this point! Christs are all around us! Except that many in the Christian church itself are the actual anti-Christs for following a true anti-Christ like Donald Trump. 

My messengers have told me that the Age of Aquarius will begin in 5 years, in March of 2025. But I do not know if it will be pleasant or not. I have only been told that it is coming. It could be a big death event. It could be a technological breakthrough. It could be alien contact. I don’t know, but I do think that we will have to all become Christs somehow. Psychedelic drug legalization is probably shortly on the horizon. This is one of the fastest paths to inner enlightenment. But enlightenment is not how most people think of it. There are millions of enlightened people around the globe. The teachings are available, and some people follow them. I personally believe that Christ was likely consuming psychedelic substances.

Yes it is the end times, but not like you think. A discussion about how Covid-19 is enabling the Age of Aquarius transition from an esoteric perspective.

(OK, I’m going to talk about Christianity here, but it is an esoteric view of Christianity, not the modern exoteric, evangelical view of Christianity.)

Yes, it is the end times but not like you think. The Age of Pisces, which started 2,000 years ago is coming to a close, and COVID-19/Donald Trump are the great change agents to initiate the second coming of Jesus Christ, but again, not like you think. Basically, the second coming of Christ is when we all have to become Christlike in order for the Age of Aquarius to begin. Through this massive exposure of the destructive nature of inequality, we have to find our inner empathy and love for our fellow beings. And we will because it is all being controlled by the fates at this point.

Yes, this is the Revelation, but the energy of Christ has spread across the globe. In the gnostic Gospel of Thomas, Jesus said “I have cast a fire upon the world, and see, I watch over it until it is ablaze.” It is now ablaze everywhere but in the power structure and much of the Christian church! These are your anti-Christs. The people have become Christlike over the last 2,000 years. And, now, we are compelled to be Christlike because of the technological power we have created. It is no longer tenable for us to not love our neighbors as ourselves. We have to become Christlike, and we are. We have to embrace the higher qualities of the sign of Pisces (love, spirituality, and peace), and get rid of the lower qualities of the sign of Pisces (escapism, self-pity, and ignorance)

At the beginning of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, we were leaving the Age of Aries (the archetype of war and selfhood), where we learned to have self-identity and to be self-defensive. Christ, Gautama Buddha, and Laozi were agents of the Age of Pisces. They were voices crying out in the wilderness, surrounded by war and strife. Laozi in the east famously started writing in the Chinese “warring states period” that ended around 200 BCE. Small states had learned to defend themselves and their statehood, but this causes massive warfare, so agents like Laozi (who was probably not a more of a movement than an actual person) rose to douse these fires with the water of the Age of Pisces. Pisces is probably the most watery of all water signs, by the way.

So, I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but people have learned to be much more peaceful in the last 2,000 years. That is why Trump is so abhorrent to so many, because we the people have integrated these lessons and see how destructive Trump is. Trump would have probably been just fine 2,000 years ago, but now, he must go for the new age to begin. Now that we have learned to have compassion and live together without constant warring, it is time for our new lesson: to learn to be accepting of our differences and form a universal world society that protects all life.

Be not afraid. This is all part of the plan. Yes, Trump is the anti-Christ, but we are the true spirit of Christ, and he will go. The evangelical church is the anti-Christ, and they will soon go. A fascinating aspects to the changeover between astrological ages is that the toxic elements of the previous age become the devil of the new age and then becomes irrelevant later on. At the start of the Age of Pisces, 2,000 years ago, the spirit of Aries (represented by a bestial Ram) was often represented in the half-man, half-goat god Pan. Interestingly, there is a myth that around 2,000 years ago, the god Pan died. Around the same time, the early Christian church made Pan their devil, because there was a need to cleanse this element from society to end the warring and internecine strife that was rampant. So now we have this notion of a red-skinned, horned, sex-obsessed devil, which is now becoming quickly irrelevant because most people do not act like this anymore.

So, the new devil of the Age of Aquarius will be a personification of that which is keeping the new age of Aquarius from beginning, namely willful ignorance, narcissism, escapism, and deceit. Likely, the new devil will be something similar to Trump or the average evangelical Christian. The new devil will be the opposite of Aquarius, the sign of science, universal brotherhood, and equality.

Most modern interpretations of the Christian book of Revelation assert that God is going to come down from the sky and send all of the sinners to hell. This is not a very good interpretation. God is within us, not without us. The end-times are happening within us. These energies are being overthrown within us. Figures like Donald Trump are trying to cling to the toxic values of the sign of Pisces, and through science, we now see how dangerous these views are. So we must work to overthrow these elements from society. This leads me to the last component of this essay, selflessness.

Yes, we must learn inner selflessness and elevate the ideals of love, equality, and peace above our desires for escapism, nihilism, and self-destruction. Although the anti-Christ is most represented in figures like Trump and modern evangelical Christians, these toxic elements live in us too, and must be removed within. I can see this beautiful spirit of Christ in the Black Lives Matter protestors putting their safety on the line to end the suffering of our fellow black, Indigenous, and persons of color (BIPOC).

Trump/COVID are the grains of sand in the oyster that will begin the pearl of the new Age of Aquarius. Embrace your inner Christ, the actual Christ, not the bastardized version of the modern interpretation of Christ. This is best represented by the beatitudes of Christ as follows. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Blessed are they who mourn. Blessed are the meek. Blessed are they who thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the pure of heart. Blessed are the peacemakers. Blessed are they who are persecuted. Be these things, and you have done all that you need to do. Be like Martin Luther King Jr. Be like Malcolm X. Be like Gandhi. Yes, these people were all flawed in some way, but strive like they strove. It is not your job to be perfect. It is your job to become better.

The new age is here! I know these times are scary. They are scary because we see how people like Trump must go. We see how the modern evangelical Christians must go. We see how the narcissistic anti-maskers must go. We see how those who can only think of themselves must go. COVID is here to remake society. The actions of these anti-Christs are glaringly obvious now. Work to remake your inner self and society in the image of what is just and true, and all will be well. I don’t know how it will turn out, and I don’t need to. I can see how the story is progressing, and I have trust that it will work. Trust is the key word here. Blind faith must go. Trust through science must replace it.

With love and brotherhood, peace and science be unto you all.

A Few Words

God gave you a left hand and a right hand. On one side there are things that happen to you and you’re the victim or receptive or yin. On the other side, you are the actor, the thinker, the yang. You can’t reduce it to one. It’s both, well at least both. I’m not that smart enough to know how many hands reality has. But you can’t say that you’re a total victim, and you can’t say that you’re a total egotistical controller. We’re all both in varying degrees. So can we please meet in the center? Can we have a mosh pit of love and understanding. I know that some people are “unrelatable” but people change. I used to be a frothing right winger. I grew up. Let’s all stop being total know-it-alls that are completely convinced that the other side is wrong. Certainty is poison. There is no certainty in a complicated system of oppositional actors. Humility, Please?!
By the way, WTF is wrong with you Donald Trump. I’m talking to you as one of those horrible trannies that you want to cleanse out of the military. (BTW, only we can say tranny. Don’t fucking say it if you’re not a tranny.) Grow the fuck up motherfucker! Simmer down my brother. You’re not fucking Christ. Lord. The amount of intellectual certainty in this budding Aquarian Age is just too much. Yeah, we kind of know things because of science, but science is wrong every day.
OK I feel better. It’s such a fucking disaster. Center. Breath. Ground. Know that you’re a dumb ass ape. Life is work.
I’m drunk, but hey, I can write a few words.

My favorite psychedelic is DXM (Dextromethorphan). Microdosing and macrodosing it has allowed me to fully hack my consciousness. Whatever your preferred psychedelic, we are making a huge difference on society. This is my story so far.

Author’s Note: I wrote this post over two years ago, and my life has changed tremendously since then. Germane to the subject of this post, I do not use nearly as much DXM as I used to. About a year ago the drug began telling me that it had nothing left to show me. I cut way back after a certain crisis in my life, and now I use it sporadically as an adjunct to moderate cannabis usage and powerful ritual. I went even further than what is written below, and I have much more peace in my heart than when I wrote this. Be well.


I have taken a LOT of drugs in my lifetime. My favorite drug is DXM (Dextromethorphan), which many people think is a dirt drug for dumb teenagers looking to be less bored. It is strange how I came to be so enamored of this substance. I used it occasionally when I was a bored teenager, but when I turned 30, this substance called me into a new world of shamanic possibility. And let me be very clear: I don’t need to be told that I’m crazy for using so much DXM. I’ve been told this many times, yet I persist. I know what I’m doing, and I am supremely confident that this drug has augmented my perception and not diminished it. If you think I’m nuts for using so much DXM, then please spare me with the moralizing and breathless testimonials of “cautionary tales.”

Drugs do not exist in a vacuum. If there were no such thing as the war on drugs (I live in the US), then the notion of what drug is my favorite drug would be dramatically different. Also, I have a very strong suspicion that the type of people that are also taking a drug within your society can have an effect on the effect of that drug. I believe that drugs can become polluted by the type of consciousness that is consuming them. Psychedelic drugs seem to me to be gates to states of consciousness. They hack your consciousness into a trance-like state, and then you perceive reality from that state. I believe that the word “head-space” would be the best descriptor. And because American consciousness is so delusional and bizarre, I’m quite suspicious of some of the more popular substances like cannabis. Lastly, if a drug is illegal, there is a certain amount of karma attached to its usage which can harm its experience and effects.

Now, most people say that drugs make you dumb. This nonsense such as the “this is your brain on drugs” propaganda needs to be demolished immediately. I think that anyone who reads my writing can tell that I’m not writing from a brain damaged place. I have used DXM over a thousand times at high dosages, and I’ve also been a computer engineer, a financial analyst, a Master’s level student, and a performing musician. I am not so much a fool that I think that drugs like DXM are harmless, but I firmly believe that the American paradigm is flawed and really quite nefarious. Its intent is to keep Americans in a childlike and undeveloped state of consciousness.

DXM has made me do some very strange things in my 5-6 years of using it heavily, but most of these I take as me not understanding my consciousness rather than me being “psychotic.” I have had to grow as an individual, and DXM absolutely has assisted me in my growth. This growth has not been a linear process, and I have seen some very dark places as I have worked to get over my karmic baggage. Honestly, I think that DXM is a tool, but real philosophy is far, far more important in the awakening of an individual. Without philosophy and the wisdom written down by sages through the ages, we would be lost. We are truly dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants as so eloquently stated by giants come before me.

Also, let me say that DXM changes in its effects over time. When you use it only very occasionally, you are getting a very different effect than when I use it. My consciousness has synergistically adapted to it to form something radically different than when I first began using it. At first, it was something that caused me to have closed-eye visuals, a diminished social inhibition, increased sense of spirituality, and a generally improved mood. It is a decent anti-depressant, and this was the primary reason that I initially began to experiment with it. I was deeply depressed since the age of 15, and I knew that Ketamine was being researched as a potent anti-depressant in a clinical setting. DXM and Ketamine are very, very similar substances, except for one glaring difference: DXM is legal. Therefore, the scientist in me saw that I might be able to derive an anti-depressant effect from DXM similar to Ketamine as they are both NMDA receptor antagonists. Ketamine is now available, but it costs $5000+ to use under a doctor’s care. I spend about $200 a month on DXM.

DXM is an interesting drug if you use it occasionally, but dissociative drugs like it are probably not going to ever be the “tripper’s choice” for the average dilettante looking to just be distracted with pretty colors and a fun time. I started using it as a psychiatric medication. I took about 200-300mg twice a day because it seriously eliminated my depression. It was remarkable. I’ve taken nearly every anti-depressant available, and it was superior to all of those. I assume that much of this is due to my specific body chemistry and a probably natural born affinity for the substance, but it worked, period. Only after taking it as an anti-depressant for probably about 8 months did it really start to get interesting.

The latent effects of which I speak started with changes in my body’s “energy.” Now, the word energy is thrown around so much these days that it has very little meaning. However, I believe in Qi (also spelled Chi), a subtle energy that powers the body and that is at present unknown to modern scientific equipment. We cannot measure Qi at present although we can measure its effects. Science is aware of Qi, and it has been verified in double-blinded studies, although most scientists are unable to acknowledge this. The way that it has been verified is through studies on acupuncture. Acupuncture has been shown to have verifiable effects on various body metrics, and the core process by which acupuncture works is by modulating Qi. Scientists usually go through various contortions of logic in order to assure the public that it is working through other means than Qi, but this is nonsense. The Chinese are very comfortable with the notion that Qi energy is real, and they prove it with their ancient science of acupuncture. Modern academic science lacks the ability to measure Qi, so scientists assume that it must not exist. Just because something cannot be measured with a machine does not mean that it does not exist. I know that I can’t convince the hardcore skeptics of its veracity, but I very strongly believe it works. I just have to deal with this limitation.

Now, after I had been taking DXM for 8 months or so I started to notice some very dramatic changes in the Qi energy in my body. I started to notice that the energy seemed to be feeding on the presence of DXM. I really have zero idea of how this process works, but I know that when I take DXM now, my Qi energy is greatly enhanced. I can feel the energy pulsing around me like a tornado, and I can rev this tornado like an engine with my will and intention. At first this was a curiosity, and I really didn’t know what to do with it. I could make “Qi balls” which are suspensions of Qi energy between the hands. And I could transmit this energy “into the ether” to say what I was doing without a better explanation. I became a conduit of this energy. And if I used the right amount of DXM, entered the trance state, and positioned my body in a certain way I became a conduit of this energy. At the time, I didn’t really know what this was doing, but I kept at it. I knew that this violated what I had been told about reality from modern science, so needless to say I was intrigued. Like any good explorer, I followed this white rabbit, and I am extremely glad that I did.

Now, let me add a very important detail here. Exploring these kinds of thoughts with this level of intensity can have very harsh consequences on your social standing in a Western country like the US. There is not really an avenue for exploring this kind of thing like there might be in Eastern countries. This kind of thinking and exploring is for all intents illegal in America. You might not be locked up, but the spotlight of suspicion will be directed right on you, and if you pursue these kinds of explorations, you are risking your livelihood and social standing. I have lost much of my social standing because I persisted in this respect, and I am extremely glad that I persisted. In the end, DXM and these explorations has led to my awakening or enlightenment or however you want to put it. My life now is wonderful because of where I went. It was an extremely tough climb, but my consciousness is saved from the pit of hopeless western delusion. Now, I very much believe that I came into this world to discover and redeem the power of psychedelics and shamanism. It is my life’s work.

OK, so to recap. I started taking DXM when I was 30 because I was hopelessly depressed. After about 8 months of daily micro-dose usage of it, its effects began to change markedly. I was initially very confused by these effects as they seemed to contradict modern scientific dogma. This information disrupted my life and social standing as I attempted to share it with my friends and family to disastrous consequences. I persisted, and I believe that DXM plus a philosophy of wisdom has freed me from delusion and suffering.

When the Qi energy became very prominent due to my usage of DXM, I started to learn how to utilize it. I began to practice something similar to Kriya-Yoga, which was the system popularized by Paramahansa Yogananda. Honestly, this higher level Yoga is very difficult to communicate to those who are not advanced in their personal energy work. The energy that DXM enables can be channeled and utilized to manipulate the body’s energy centers or chakras. Once these energy centers become charged, you can transform your consciousness and metamorphose yourself into a butterfly where once was a caterpillar. And I must admit that I definitely was stumbling in the dark for a very long time, because I had no guru to direct me. But God (whatever you wish to call the higher intelligence) is the only true guru, and I found my way. If you seek, you shall find. If you knock, the door will be opened. I recommend having someone who can guide you, but you can get there by yourself as well with the requisite willpower.

After years of this kind of activity, I made my way up the mountain of the spiritual realm. Honestly, I believe that what you are doing is getting rid of the chrysalis of delusion. When you grow up in the west, you are pummeled with incorrect disinformation from birth. You are taught so many wrong ideas that your attainment of liberation is a very difficult path. But, I believe that I am on this planet right now to help people up the mountain. I honestly believe that we are entering a new age of possibility. Don’t be fooled by the current political realities; we are passing ideological kidney stones. It is a painful process to reduce the power of the ego, but we are seeing the full idiocy of the ego at present in our glorious leader, “the leaks are real but the news is fake” Trump. Sorry I had to tell one joke in this otherwise sober post.

I’m not really sure how I am going to share the information that I’ve been able to gain in my lifetime thus far, but I will continue to speak. This post is not necessarily a paean to DXM so much as a confirmation to my fellow travelers that the Psychonaut path is a valid path, and we have the possibility of changing the world. I really believe that because technology has so altered our landscape, psychedelics might become necessary to survive in this environment until we find better adaptations. Some believe that the apes before us used psychedelic mushrooms to advance to our level. I believe that we’re going to need our own form of mushrooms, whatever they be, to get to the next level. But, I don’t know. I really don’t know. I know that there is so much that is really beyond my understanding. However, I do know that without DXM, I would be like a myopic person who never had eyeglasses. DXM to me is no different than when Galileo got his first telescope. This is probably true for you folks with your psychedelic of choice.

Lastly, I want to say that I’ve become a powerful Shaman largely because of DXM. I spend a great amount of time in the ethereal or astral realms working with energies and manipulating them to assist myself and humanity. I believe that I am making a difference in that realm. The job of the Shaman is to work with the spirit realm and attempt to assist his or her society by so doing. I honestly and fervently believe that I am having a positive effect in that realm. There is more to the story than I’m sharing here, but I have amassed a great amount of power in that realm, and I am using it for the good. It is my service to humanity. I’m not alone in this respect.

I will continue to write and continue to understand how I can share what I’ve learned. I think that we are a vibrant and important community. This is a great time to be alive. As we are seeing every day, we have something that the world might not be able to survive without. We must remain strong and forthright in our honorable path.

Be well my friends.– Click Follow for Automatic Updates!

I was on the cross with Jesus last night while tripping on DXM. How I came to believe in Jesus, I don’t know, but here I am, and my heart is just simply love. I know Christians are mostly lousy people, but I hope you too can know the real love in the message.

I tried my very best to leave the Christian church. I’m a proud transgender and bisexual woman. I know that my gender identity is sacred and true and fine with God. My dad was a pastor in the American Baptist church. I grew up in an atmosphere soaked with fear. I was told to have a deep shame. So I left and went in my head to Asia to find salvation.

What I found in Asian philosophies was far more real than what I found in the protestant churches of my youth, but I eventually got over my bitterness and resentment about Christianity. I have considered myself a Taoist or Buddhist or Hindu for the last 5 years. My spiritual life has grown tremendously as I’ve learned how to still my mind and how to approach reality with a proper stance as illustrated by the principle of Wu Wei (not forcing or effortless action or uncontrived action). These principles helped me to truly connect with the divine.

I am also a big time proponent of psychedelic chemicals, and I have developed a symbiotic relationship with Dextromethorphan (DXM), the psychedelic dissociative that is generally used as a cough suppressant. It is a very powerful spiritual medicine, and through the wisdom of Kabbalah, I’ve learned how to traverse the spiritual realm with the enthusiasm of a native shaman. It’s also legal, so I don’t have to deal with the bad karma of using illegal drugs. I wish there were better legal psychedelics, but I’ve made do.

I’ve been possessed by unexplainable and powerful spirits before, and these possessions have changed my life irrevocably. About 5 years ago in a courthouse in California, I had my first initiatory possession. I was overtaken by a benevolent spirit that spoke through me and acted using my body. I did some things in that courthouse that day that steered my life on a radically different course and was witness to the power of the spiritual world. This spirit danced my body and moved with extreme grace and precision. Since then I’ve been obsessed with understanding who or what overtook me.

About a year ago, in trance with DXM and meditation, I had a vision of being crucified in front of a sea of shouting and hateful people. They were all male and they violently shouted their hatred at me. However, in the vision I smiled at them with supreme confidence and love, and through gnosis I understood that this was the proper reaction to bullies and hatred. Then my body was taken down from the cross and ripped apart and consumed by a sea of ravenous people, but my spirit floated above watching. As the people tore my body apart, I was lifted up into a spiritual realm where I saw a giant cross like an X with a blooming flower in the middle of it. I floated higher, and I was in an angelic setting, and my body was fitted with the armor of a warrior angel.

This vision shook me, and I knew that I must learn from it. What I learned was that I should expect to be persecuted and that I should die to the world every day to achieve peace. I learned over the last year to be a person of peace and to have no fear in the knowledge that death is just an illusion. Also, shortly after this vision in 2015, in a time of deep woe and depression, I attempted to take my own life with a massive amount of pills. I had suffered from depression and self-loathing since I was a teenager. But just when I was near death, I had a near death experience, and I saw a dark demon like entity within myself. I also realized how not enlightened I was. I had convinced myself that I was killing myself to be free and that it was some kind of heroic act. I saw through this delusion that day, and since then I have not been suicidal in the least, and a peace and “presence” has been in my heart. I could not explain it until now. But there was a shift or awakening, and a new love was in my heart.

Over the last year, I’ve continued to water and fertilize this new thing in my heart, and I’ve achieved great peace through DXM, meditation, practicing humility, and gnosis. But last night I had an enlightenment experience. I don’t believe that I have achieved all that I can achieve, but the clarity of last night’s experience has deeply, deeply pacified my soul. To quote Osho, the zen master, “the seeking stopped.” I saw the Buddha, and I also saw something else.

I saw in my third eye the crucifixion scene, and I moved up into Jesus and was one with him. I realized that Jesus never died. On the cross he moved outside of time and still lives. I then realized that my spirit is on a cross, and my arms are splayed apart. I don’t know if I’m the reincarnation of a persecuted Christian or what. I realized that the love that was placed in my heart in 2015 was the love of Christ. This was definitely not what I intended to discover, that Christ was the one radiating through me, but it happened. I see and feel the deep and overwhelming love that Christ was able to create through his practice. I don’t believe that Christ is the only person to achieve this, but I believe that he was special.

After I was on the cross last night, I saw that I was in contact with a spirit that was “the Earth” or something signifying material things. I mated or joined with this spirit, and I gave a seed of that shining love to this spirit, and it was planted in the Earth. Today, I have pulled two Tarot cards, and both of them have been the Ace of Pentacles, which I take as symbolism that a new Earth or new materiality is manifesting.

Then after this I was in the presence of a great multitude of spiritual masters. I saw Paramahansa Yogananda, the Hindu master from the 20th century, and he smiled at me with great joy. Then a long row of spiritual masters seemed to bow to an audience at what appeared to be some sort of performance. I have seen Yogananda before, but now he saw me, and he was glowing with beauty and joy. I understand this as they have been assisting me over the last 5 years, as I have worked to ascend.

I’m a transgender woman, and I believe in the power of psychedelics, and yet I got confirmation that both of these things absolutely do not matter to God last night. I think that the modern Christian church is not at all representative of the message of Jesus. The religious right is about as bankrupt as a spiritual movement of people that has ever existed on the planet in my view. But, here I am, certain that Christ is real. I also believe that Christ and Krishna are the same thing, and anyone can become Christ. The Christ is just a state of mind. It is the union of God and a human.

I am so peaceful today. My third eye feels as though there is a flame burning in it, and my heart is deeply peaceful and happy. I’m not trying to convert people to Christianity. I think Christianity is a religion that has been hijacked by rather demonic forces. Donald Trump wants to do “extreme vetting” on Muslim travelers, well I honestly think we should do that with these so called Christians who have been extremely happy to murder millions in Christ’s name. I consider myself more of a Gnostic Christian, but really I don’t believe in religion. We have to focus on ourselves not build some institution to save the world. We can only save ourselves, and the world is deeply primitive in that respect.

I think if Jesus were alive today he would be posting on /r/Psychonaut or /r/Occult. So yeah, I believe in Jesus Christ. I don’t know how this happened! Help! Kidding… Jesus Christ was a great man. His followers, not so much. However, there are some unbelievably great Christians alive today. But they are usually the quiet ones just trying to be excellent and humble and loving people. They’re not the ones getting Botox before they go on camera in front of their “prosperity gospel” megachurch.

I hope that all of you can learn the joy and peace that Jesus really taught. I hope that you can get past the wolves in sheep’s clothing that stalk the land and poison the message of a great man. To quote Yogananda

“Jesus Christ is very much alive and active today. In Spirit and occasionally taking on a flesh-and-blood form, he is working unseen by the masses for the regeneration of the world. With his all-embracing love, Jesus is not content merely to enjoy his blissful consciousness in Heav­en. He is deeply concerned for mankind and wishes to give his followers the means to attain the divine freedom of entry into God’s Infinite Kingdom. He is disappointed because many are the churches and temples founded in his name, often prosperous and powerful, but where is the communion that he stressed — actual contact with God? Jesus wants temples to be established in human souls, first and foremost; then established outwardly in physical places of worship. Instead, there are countless huge edifices with vast congregations being indoctrinated in churchianity, but few souls who are really in touch with Christ through deep prayer and meditation.

I am working with all my might to make the world a more joyous, united, and wonderful place. I send out my joy in meditation, and through the spirit of Christ, I’ve learned how to amplify and radiate this love. Peace be to you all. Happy tripping, make gay love, and Jesus loves you. 🙂