Tag: loss

Deep lessons learned through loss, the Reader’s Digest version.

I think one of the best lessons I’ve learned while living in hardship is that you can always see the stars. You can always see the heavens, even when you are trapped in the mud or the gutter. You can feel real divinity and happiness and joy no matter how poor you are. You can feel peace no matter how many walls exist in front of you. Usually, we do that through our profession. We reach for the stars and find inner purpose in life through small tasks of seemingly benign averageness. I reach because I need to. I’ve survived so much deprivation. So, I have been broken down by grief. And now, I feel liberated. And so I reach. And I feel another hand reaching down.

The cycle of love

She was the dream untethered in my mind
a flame that moths cannot ignore
all the others said “what are you doing?”
But we flew into that fire together
hopeless junkies
mainlining love and sexuality
And now we’re burned and calcified
we tried to dream
and now we die
Hopefully a tree will bloom
upon the grave of our lost swoons
to turn this anguish into something new


I worshipped you but you couldn’t believe
Our hearts were as one but you couldn’t conceive
You ushered me away with the unfounded dream
That I was just using you, a love of convenience

But she was a Gen X stereotype
All anger and bitterness seething
And I was too languid and puerile
Just some burnout teething

How lovely
Was our parting
The sunrise
New starting


But the cord is cut

You Don’t Love Me

She said “I want to break up”
with Saturn’s old worn eyes
the sternness of her discipline
gave futures their demise

And still I long for her embrace
I wake with solitary, lonely haste
to plod against the dawning mire
Am I walking into or out of the fire?

so bitter is my heart’s lament
yet I’ve left some venom in her skin
the puncture marks say “I’m a fool”
my caustic words were the cruelest tool

She said “You don’t love me”
and my heart sank
what dream is this?
of the lowest rank
I’ll set my sights
on something higher
because she thinks I’m such a liar

I’m so lost
but I must go
if she won’t believe me
end of show