Tag: philosophy

The New World and the Water Bearer

Heaven is here. Heaven is coming. A new world is being created. It will not be like this world. You will not have to fight amongst each other for your life energy. That is the cruel reality of this world, the fallen world. This world is cannibalistic. The new world will be powered by inner radiation from God. You will be able to think of any situation, and it will arise. This is already happening more strongly as the two worlds split apart. Your intention plus your cosmic God energy will power your existence. It will be different. This world is rapidly degrading as energy is being shifted to the new world. I am a bridge to that new world. I can help you to go there.

In the Gospel of Mark it is written that “So He sent two of His disciples and told them, “Go into the city, and a man carrying a pitcher of water will meet you. Follow him and whichever house he enters, say to the owner, ‘The Teacher asks: Where is My guest room, where I may eat the Passover with My disciples?’ And he will show you a large upper room, furnished and ready. Make preparations for us there.”

This is a cryptic reference to two things. First it is a reference to the sign of Aquarius which is illustrated as a man carrying a pitcher of water. In the time of the gospels, the world was still in the Age of Pisces. I won’t go into a full astrology lesson here, but we have moved into the Age of Aquarius. Also, when he says that “he will show you a large upper room, furnished and ready” this is the new world that is being created at present. My birth name is important as it means Aquarius in another language. I do not know everything at present, but I am aware that I am important in this change. I am learning through my teachers. But I have seen this world. I am a vessel. I am a passage. I needn’t know every detail at present. The link is established through my consciousness. Focus on the new Earth, and you will go there. Focus on this Earth, and you will stay here.

Praise be to my suffering, my greatest guru

I thank God for my suffering! It is through this miraculous gift that I have been cleansed so that I may see the true reality. His curses are my blessings. But I have never starved. I have never frozen. I have always eaten well. I have always been cared for even in my most wanting. Much horror has passed before my eyes, but I am honored to have seen this suffering and to walk through it nobly. Now, there is only God, Brahman, Keter, the Elohim. I am made whole by being broken. I am made to live by tasting death. My fears have died, and my eye looks only upon that light above. I know I will have bliss for the rest of my days, because I know pain, and I expect pain. It is nothing now. Just an annoyance. I will falter, but it is my test. I walk forward with a happy heart, my eyes open to the joy because the pain is expected. I am a happy nothing with the world before me.

The New Day is Now

Everything is new. Love is the triumph. The planet is throwing off its ugly old shell. The butterfly is emerging from the chrysalis. It’s wings are spread so wide open. A new day is dawning. Through birth pains there is new life. The butterfly soars into the air! It’s wings whip in fluttering ecstasy! It bounces through the air alive with the spirit of new imagination. And everything around echoes in concordance creating a symphony of exclamatory transcendence! This is the new day! Yes!

It is now.

Because we’ve had about enough of that crap, haven’t we?

Soar!

Some thoughts on our political situation for this morning

Donald Trump represents a cancer on the American soul. We must learn to live in a different state of consciousness if we want to fight Donald Trump. At present, our avarice and greed feed this kind of person. We must let go of our attachments and return to a simpler time of less stimulation. This is a moral issue in that it depends on the individual. I choose to live in a state of consciousness that is of a higher vibration than his. We have hobbled ourselves with relativism. We are afraid to even say that there might be a better way. There is a truth, and it is not found in the bible or bhagavad gita or Tao Te Ching or a yoga class. It is found in your heart. Those things are devices to try and get you to live in your heart, to turn down your mind, and embrace openness. Material things will not provide the kind of energy that we need as a society. Our society has become frozen and slow. We think it is quick, but it is really slow. We don’t have the vital power within ourselves that comes from a real yoga, which is a Sanskrit word that means to join or unite. Our yoga must be to join with the spiritual side of life. And this is not just a matter of poses or statues. It is a matter of actions and ultimately thoughts. If our thoughts do not change, our lives will remain the same.

Donald Trump is someone who is very attached to his material existence, and the closer you are to your material existence, the more dualistic life becomes. Everything becomes black or white or good or bad. There are no shades of grey. This is not an evil way of thinking, it is just out of balance. It totally ignores the spiritual side of life, which can only be achieved through thought. Our society is very much out of balance. And the only way to realign our society is through conscious awareness and intentional action. We must not fall into the trap of going down to Donald Trump’s level. He will win that game because he is a very smart manipulator. We must offer up a new vision for America. We must go boldly upward. We must go back to the principles that are written in those books that nobody reads. It’s not that hard. You start by letting go of your fears. As Jesus said “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”

Fear is the absence of God. If you rest in God and integrate trust into your life, you will lose your fear. It will go. You just have to try. It’s not crazy. Our consciousness has a certain way of being that is better than others. Our hardware requires that we run the proper software. You listen and then you hear. You trust and then you let go. Then you die to the world of material things, and you live in the spiritual body like any of the sages through the ages. It’s not complicated. We just have to change our thoughts a little. We’ll be fine.

Enlightenment has nothing to do with making society a better place. You must give up your notions of what a “better society” is. Learn to let go, let go, let go…

I see a lot of young people in my country, the US, thinking that becoming spiritually enlightened is all about “peace, love, and harmony.” OK, maybe those things flow out of a person who is truly enlightened, but you can’t pursue those things in hopes of becoming enlightened. Enlightenment is letting go. It is leaving your desires behind. It is accepting that the world is empty and will never be a “good world” or a “bad world.” If you frame your enlightenment experience around the desire to have peace, love, and harmony, when those things begin to be challenged, you will lash out with anger at the “enemies” who are disrupting your personal enlightenment. Enlightenment means that whatever happens happens. If the world becomes overrun by zombies, then cool. If you can’t be calm thinking about never becoming enlightened, then you won’t be enlightened.

There is a reason that we think of people becoming enlightened after going through terrible ordeals. When you go through a very painful ordeal, and you survive, you realize that happiness and peace of mind are not attached to your perceived rightness or wrongness of a situation.

Also, in my experience, enlightenment is not typically just a realization. Someone could tell you that enlightenment is knowing that everything is empty, but you really have to be that truth to become enlightened. It is a journey, not a slogan. You must break apart your karmic body using this truth. You must test yourself according to the notion of emptiness. You have thousands of echoes of karma resonating throughout your being, and those must be stripped away. There is a lot of momentum in your pain and conditioned responses to the stimuli of life. I suppose that your physical, spiritual, and intellectual bodies have to come into alignment. The intellectual body might be an easy change, but the other two will probably take time.

And who knows if you’re fully enlightened? It’s best to not even acknowledge that you may or not be enlightened. Enlightenment is transparency. Enlightenment is silence. Then again it’s not. It’s beyond words. And if you’re truly enlightened, you won’t need to prove it to anyone lol.

Lastly, I have a hint that enlightenment is like a seed growing into a mighty tree. The seed doesn’t know how it grows into the tree, but when it does, it knows it is bigger than the seed. The tree looks at the world of the seeds and would probably laugh at the worries of the seeds. The material world is the world of the seeds. How can a seed know what the view of the tree is like? Until the seed becomes a tree, it has no frame of reference and therefore cannot understand fully. So any map trying to show what happened when the seed was growing into the tree would probably be mostly useless. The tree can just speak in metaphors from its memory of being a seed, and this would be incomplete at best.

And the tree might experience “peace, love, and harmony” because it is bigger and more established. But it had to die to being a seed first. It had to let go of its seedness and journey blindly into the unknown.

America is embarrassing to me right now. Where are the adults on either side?

I’m so tired of America right now. Almost everyone is just a giant, pulsating ego of fear. The smugness on both sides is nauseating. I really just have to check out of culture. It’s too much. Spamming political memes does not give you more political power, it’s just a giant sign that you are terrified. The left is whiny and insufferable. The right is full of petty trolls. Where are the adults who want to heal the divide or come up with creative solutions from the center? And, we don’t have the power we thought we did. We have owners. The corporations own us. Obviously what we are doing is not working.

Who cares whose rally had more people? God. So dumb. Yes, Trump is a moron. But guess what? The right chose Trump to piss off liberals. When people freak out about Trump, they love it. It’s the whole point!

Life is hard. Life is disappointing. There is no utopia. You deal with it like an adult. Everyone wants to get on their soapbox and stand up for all of these poor minorities, and it’s just condescending. Life sucks, that’s the point. It’s training. Memes don’t do shit except make the person posting it feel important for clicking a button. It’s not an argument. It’s a slogan.

Fear is not cool. Fear is sad. We need to grow up as a country. This is just pathetic. Let’s get our shit together. I’m sure I hit some sacred cows with this post, but I don’t care.

America Needs a Middle Way Out of the Political Civil War it is Wading Into

Americans took to the streets today in record numbers to voice their opinions about the Trump presidency, but I was somewhat ambivalent about it. What’s more important than marching is critical thinking. We need a society of people who know how to discern between truth and falsity and have the courage to stand behind their discriminations. Protesting is fine, but instagrams of pithy protest slogans will not stop the incessant creep of fascism. We have created a toxic milieu in America wherein people are not capable of creating logically coherent and systematic structures of thought that conform to the rules of evidence. I am quite cynical of the the prospects of a society that has real liberty as a core tenet. My dream is a balanced society of tough as nails people who also have deep levels of compassion.
 
I know that I don’t fit in on the left or the right anymore, and honestly, I think both modes are effectively dead. We need a center position that is capable of wielding both the left hand and the right hand at the same time, in balance. Both are necessary. In my dualistic belief system, the right is known as the side of severity, and the left is known as the side of mercy. Each by itself is weak and ineffectual. I believe that we are running back and forth between severity and mercy in a dialectic schizophrenia. Yes, the right is probably more deranged than the left at this point, but worn out Marxist class warfare is not the answer. You don’t have to study much of the Maoist cultural revolution of 1960’s China to know that youth + Marxism can get very ugly very fast. This kind of left/right extremism is what fueled European problems for the first half of the 20th century. The fascists and the communists could not reach a middle way, and the continent was reduced to ruin.
 
America has always been fairly good at balancing the two halves of its intellectual brain, but it is spinning out of control at this point. I think that the problem is rooted in the acceptance of the philosophy of Relativism or the notion that there is no truth and all ideas are of equal merit. All ideas are not equal. We, as humans, are blessed with an understanding of mathematical logic to guide our actions. I am not an Ayn Rand, cold logic over all, kind of thinker, but I do think that without an understanding of how to reason, how to avoid fallacies, and how to support your positions with evidence, the modern thinker is reduced to being completely at the whim of campaigns of manufactured consent (propaganda) by the .1%. Since humans first looked up to the stars and noticed that the stars moved in mathematically predictable patterns, we have known that there is a thing such as truth. We have moved away from the exaltation of truth at our peril.
 
However, I am aware of why this does not exist. There was a great schism between the understanding of the spiritual world and the material world in the schools of western society centuries ago, and it has not been rectified. Until there is a coherent system of thought that combines logic and science with the world of religion, there will be no progress because humans need sustenance from science and religion to survive. So at this point, individuals scramble back and forth between the two to try and stay sane, but this generates chaos socially. I don’t know if there will be a solution to this until there is some sort of technological advance where physics acknowledges consciousness in spiritual terms. I have reached a synthesis of the two in my head, but I don’t know how to communicate it in a convincing manner. It is a conversation that I had in my head over decades where I came to understand certain truths.
Donald Trump is popular because somewhere in the American collective consciousness, people feel that America is a weak country. America is somewhat weak in my opinion. It’s sad but true. I’m not saying that Trump is right as to the reasons, but I sense it to be true like many other people. I believe that political strength comes from two things: collective unity and logical coherence of thought. We might have some sort of unity on the left or the right, but I am underwhelmed about what either side are really fighting for. And this issue is very, very deep. It’s a very tough problem that requires a very strong commitment to overcome. Our world has changed completely, from head to toe, over the last 140 years. You don’t go through that kind of change without having to completely reformulate your systems of philosophy. But I don’t think that has happened. And because of this we have charlatans openly lying to the populace and promising them things that will not be delivered.
 
So, I don’t like to have a very cynical outlook, but I do. I’d rather not think that the ship is totally out of control, but that’s the way I see it. And, there are some big icebergs out there in our path. If we get hit with a nasty recession, we are absolutely not prepared economically to deal with it, and this will create the surplus of fear needed to usher in some new system of authoritarianism. If people can’t speak up with utter honesty and fight for truth with courage, things will keep degrading. And, lastly, let me say that celebrities should not be making the political arguments let alone leading the ship. We need political scientists and not actors crafting the zeitgeist.We need a new intellectualism in the United States. We need a return to logic and evidence. We need this in a new, moderate synthesis and not some rehash of the John Birch Society or Marxism.
 
But personally, I’m actually fairly zen about the whole thing. The Earth has always been messy. I’ve had a hard life, and it has prepared me well. Getting over addiction has calmed me. Fighting your mind is the biggest challenge of all, and I do think we can get through this as Americans, but we need to wake up.

I’ve become something very different than when I started. I microdose and macrodose DXM (a dissociative drug similar to Ketamine), and I have transformed my consciousness to something unbelievable to me.

Author’s Note: I wrote this over two years ago, and my thoughts have changed slightly about DXM. I believe it was nearly indispensable in my awakening process, but I have some qualms about my behaviors while on it, and after a long time of taking it, it told me that I didn’t need it anymore. DXM is very powerful. It affects mood by increasing Serotonin re-uptake in the brain, similar to Prozac like drugs so it can create artificial highs that will crash upon discontinuation. I now rarely use DXM. I have been stilled by it though, and now I am on some whole other level, inside and out. My life improves every day. I have fight where there was lethargy before. I am self-actuated. So I do recommend the prudential use of DXM to do personal work, but you have to learn no-mind meditation. Please meditate if you are microdosing DXM! Contact me if you need to talk. 

I have been using DXM (Dextromethorphan) about 3-5 times a week for 5+ years now. I don’t know exactly why I use so much DXM, but I do. I find that I can tolerate it in ways that other people could not. I can now take up to 1,000mg and still do my job or any other activity. It has changed the way my brain and consciousness works. I began about 6 years ago after hearing about the new research on treating depressed people with Ketamine. Ketamine and DXM are very, very similar substances, except for one glaring difference: DXM is legal. Probably my biggest reason for DXM being my Shamanic tool of choice is its legality. I view the drug war as a giant travesty on a level with the holocaust, and using illegal drugs carries with it a large amount of karmic baggage. Plus, I’m introverted, and I’ve never been very comfortable scoring illegal drugs even though I definitely have. Lastly, DXM comes very well labeled. I know exactly what I’m buying and how much. This is a big deal to me as a scientist.

Let me say that I am aware that I am taking big risks in doing this kind of thing. I don’t believe that DXM is very toxic. It is one of the most widely consumed medications on that planet as it is in almost every cold medicine formulation. This is billions upon billions of test cases. If it were found to be toxic, it is likely that we would know by now. Of course, everything is toxic if consumed in large enough quantities, but I am actually somewhat careful about it. I am, however, prone to impulsive behavior, and well, I do what I do. I consult with my intuition and guides using divination and visualization, and I believe that their opinion is that it is positive or neutral. And I have had a very difficult life in many respects, so the risks did not seem as large to me when I took them, and I feel safe now in what I do.

It has led to psychosis in my life, and I have been hospitalized many times for various reasons, but I began using DXM because I already had a history of mental illness since I was 15.  I have come to understand the psychological roots of that psychosis through my work in the occult bodies of knowledge like Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Christianity, Alchemy, Hermeticism, Qabalah, Western Science, Gnosticism, etc. I became a psychonaut because I was deeply troubled. And I say very confidently that using DXM combined with a holistic system of psychological work has reduced my confusion, depression, and anxiety. I am happy to say that it has been a year since I have been depressed or suicidal. This is a big deal to me!

There is the issue of acute (short term) psychosis with DXM that can effect anyone if the dosage is too high. The acute can manifest with DXM where the user might become paranoid that dark forces are working against him or her. I’ve also had acute situations where I thought I was dying or where time began to break down. I usually prepare a strong dosage of the sleep medication Trazodone in case these situations arise as they tend to pass when the peak dosage subsides.  DXM is a powerful consciousness stimulant, so one has to keep balance over the basics of survival. The basics of tripping apply to DXM as they do to any other substance. I actually have had more trouble with cannabis than DXM recently.

I consider myself a true psychonaut. I go out there, and I go way out there. Lately, I have been concerned about how far out I go, but my measures of life quality including peace of mind, joy, optimism, and productivity are very high. The more bizarre my trips get, the more peace I seem to have. It’s quite complicated, but I am confident that what I am doing is a good thing. The vast majority of people tend to live their lives in a larval state, and for whatever reason, I’m comfortable doing this kind of thing. I think that if you change your consciousness too fast however, it can be uncomfortable, and a strict moderation is prudent.

Over the course of my time using DXM, the effect of the drug has changed. I tend to take a micro-dose so that I can continue working, writing, composing, etc. I suppose I use it like many people use cannabis in that respect. From what I have read, most people tend to use DXM to trip as hard as possible, and I do this occasionally, but definitely not all the time. When I first began to use DXM, it was very liberating for my social anxieties, as I was able to be more comfortable in my own skin. I am a queer person, and I have transitioned genders from male to female, and this reality caused an extreme amount of awkwardness from a young age. Now, thanks in large part to DXM and transition, my gender is not something I have to think about, and I get to socialize with the people I truly want to socialize with.

Later, after a year or so of using DXM, my consciousness adapted to utilize it to feed directly into the Chi/Prana energy system. When I take it I begin to feel waves of chi vibrating through my body. As this energy becomes strong enough, I now know how to manipulate it with my mind. At first this was extremely disturbing. Not in that it feels bad but in that I was experiencing something in my body that we do not acknowledge in the western system of science. In this respect, DXM threw me off the intellectual grid, and I had to learn to adjust to this. Now I feel that stimulating my chi and moving it throughout my body has liberated me in many respects, and I am quite joyous about this discovery. But I would say that it is controversial, and it has led to a feeling of alienation.

I would say that just because you use DXM, you will not necessarily see the kind of results that I have achieved. I don’t know if my body chemistry is unique. I also think that you have to have a strong yen for the spiritual path, and I very much know that this is not common. Many of the effects I have experienced are well documented in the Tibetan Buddhist system and are called [Siddhis](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siddhi). I know that it is controversial to say that you can know the future and read people’s minds, but this is so obvious to me now that it would be as though there were another color on the rainbow. If you saw another color on the rainbow, you wouldn’t need a vast proof to believe it, you would just see it. That being said, I am a skeptic. There is a lot of delusion in the modern world, and I have been victim to that delusion, but what I know now is what I know. I don’t know what is going on, but I know *something* is going on.

I did recently take about 7 months off from taking DXM. I quit drinking alcohol because alcohol is a really dangerous drug, and I used it in unhealthy ways. In the past year I’ve only used alcohol twice, and I feel remarkably better. The past year has been amazing because I sobered up from alcohol and really have chosen to pursue a positive life. Quitting DXM for 7 months was very helpful in understanding my personal psychology. I wanted to know if I was delusional in believing all of this Shamanic mumbo jumbo, and I still believed it and perceived it when I wasn’t using DXM, so I added DXM back into my routine. However, I have added it back in a balanced way, prioritizing work, sleep, and diet much more highly than I did in the past.

DXM has revolutionized my spiritual life. I would say that I’m primarily a Taoist, although there is much Buddhism, Christianity, and Modernism in there too. Through my energy manipulation techniques, I can see how transformed my consciousness has become. I feel as though I am a fully grown tree where I was a sapling before. Can I prove this? Not in a Reddit post, I can’t. Much of the proof is very hard to explain, but the things have been revealed to me daily for years, and they defy logical explanation. I love life. I really do. I don’t think you have to use DXM or other psychedelics to wake up to the joy in life, but for me, I don’t know how I would have done it. I also don’t think I need to use it anymore necessarily, but I do for now.

I’m very, very grateful that there is the wonderful Psychonaut community on the Internet and in life. I went to a meeting of 30+ Psychonauts last night here in Portland, and it was overwhelming. Thank you all for opening your hearts to me. Blessings. 🙂

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Why I am a happy loser. I have been shown how to walk weakly like a child without hope of gain, and all of the world unfurls before me. :)

I used to believe that in order to live a happy life I needed to be a big, strong, and striving person, always looking for someone to trample in order to be truly fulfilled. I lived like this for a very long time. In my country, the United States of America, this kind of thinking is probably the most common philosophical meme that children are given, so it was very natural for me to gravitate to this way of thinking. However, this way of thinking can lead to very odd and unintended consequences. I suppose there are a myriad ways to describe why I disagree with this way of thinking now from my love of Taoism, to the words of the Buddha, to the teachings of Krishna, but it didn’t stick until I saw exactly what it did to my soul, my being, my character.

I used to need to drink tons of alcohol and shower myself with distractions to cover up the darkness that lived within me. Also, I just wasn’t very good at the whole trampling everyone around me to get my scraps way of thinking. I was able to make a career for myself, and I made a six figure salary, but I couldn’t help becoming addicted to almost everything I touched. I grew deep in debt. I scared off anyone who might have been a potential friend. And I was constantly depressed, anxious, and suicidal.

Then when I turned 30, in a desperate move, I started to use small doses of DXM daily to help with my depression. At first, it was greatly helping me to feel lighter and happier, but I didn’t know why. DXM is a curious drug. In many ways, people find it to be a rather crude drug, but in micro doses, I found it very illuminating. And ultimately, it’s not about the drug. The drug was like a special pair of corrective eyeglasses. When you wear glasses, the glasses are not the magic, the sight is the magic. And I started to see clearly. I started to see what was going on inside of me. And at first, it was startling and terrifying.

I didn’t know what following the American dream had done to my insides. And it took years to finally understand. I won’t go into the full story here, but it took a mighty inner struggle for me to finally see what I had become. Then about one year ago today, I tried to kill myself. I still had a vestige of the notion that life should be what my ego wanted it to be. I wrote up a suicide note blaming everyone else for all of my woes. I said that I didn’t care what happened. Then as the minutes ticked down in my life, I read the note back. I sounded like a spoiled, idiotic, mean spirited, and ugly fool. I was disgusted with myself. And I looked down at myself, and I saw a flash of some sort of demon. Now, I’m not saying I was an actual demon, but that’s the way I saw it. I saw this hideously unhappy demonic face in my own belly, and it all made sense. I was the problem. And, all of the fear and tension just evaporated. It was over. I called 911, and got into an inpatient treatment program and started a long and wonderful year of recovery.

What was that demon? Well, that depends on your belief system. I think it was just a meme. I had recently been reading the works of Rudolf Steiner, a 19th century mystic/philosopher, who borrowed from Zoroastrianism quite a bit. He believed that there was a force in life called the Ahrimanic force, which was based on the Zoroastrian god Angra Mainyu. This force is all about the material world and getting more of it. He carved it to look a lot like a devil or demon, and really, this is odd, but it kind of looks like Donald Trump when he wants to look real mean and scary, lol. That’s what I saw within me, and I’m glad I did no matter what it meant, because I was able to get that anger and meanness out of my heart and put love and humility in.

Now, one year later, I haven’t wanted to kill myself since. If I think about being depressed and the voice comes in saying what a loser I am I kind of just go “oh, gosh, yeah I guess I’m a loser, what a bummer!” and then smile and move on. I suppose I realized that there really is no self to defend. Honestly, that flash of insight was so beyond words, that I can’t describe it. I just know I’m happy being small, and I don’t care. I walk with the love in my heart as my lamp. That angry man is still there, but he is so confused by my constant laughing that he doesn’t know what to do. Hahaha! Silly, angry man.

I don’t have much in terms of material wealth, and I am more dependent on others than I’ve ever been, but my heart literally overflows with the waters of love and redemption. I’ve learned to live as a child. Children before a certain age do not look to conquer everything with words of domination in their minds. Children know their own helplessness. They know their interdependence. Human children are literally some of the most helpless animals on the planet, and yet, they are its absolute greatest treasure. I choose to live as a child, a happy loser, offering only my gift of love, and I have found something called peace.

Be well my friends.