I’m willful
moaning, lonely
more
than just a body
in the store
But
Jerusalem was never more
the center pole has lost its core
A dragon spews unrighteous fire
A nation shocked
A weeping choir of angels
strumming aging lyres
The leaderless!
A fatuous land…
How can we go?!
I’ve seen the broken lanes of God inside by head!
I know the high must sigh and fall
The maiden on the bridge must drop
And yes, old dead Persephone
will rise
again
I see you
I love you
I feel you
I know you
won’t be there
but it’s alright
because I’ll never find love
like the kind I have
growing inside of me
in need of no other
an independent love
a flightless holy dove
nested in my cove
alone, within
but tied to all
a peace abounding
love on call
When we walk
through this circle
called Earth
rising and falling
ebbing and flowing
coming and going
we see
that
The circle plus time is a sine
with periods
nadirs
awkward moments at parties
being alone amongst millions
the throbbing exultation of love
the cracking desert floor barrenness
of separation
Our impulse is to shun and close
to fight the now and hold our nose
But being open is the bliss
the bliss of mixed up happiness
with pain
The subtle rain of “where’d she go?”
but knowing it’s a rightful woe
We sigh and keep on feeling forward going on
I’ve been a soldier locked up tight inside my chest
I’ve seen my fellow transgirls drown in mess
a mess they didn’t make
towers downed by patriarchal quakes
Oh for holy heavens sakes
we go
We dress like fish who scorn the norm
swimming wrong because it’s right
Inside we blow and feed the lamp,
the fire of queerness they want trumped
Sing loud my fellow sisters sing
We’re the song that unseats kings
You’re the trumpet Jericho fears
The walls of “there are only two genders” will unglue
And all the naked emperors will in blushed embarrassment
resign
to you
This is now the noblest time
Parade with me and sing the line
I am love, and you are too
We’re the future, bold and true
A fool am I
so down and trodden
listing on a sea of vice
I wail
but no words come
just hopeful fodder
for the peace within I crave
that never shows
and then I’m back right
yet sorely left
I’m like an anvil
without the heft
My name is zero
so I can dream
of sailing away
to the lotus eater team
the Buddha had a toe in hell
knowing that this life is mixed
he touched the ground
and then was nixed
If you can’t laugh like a madman at this ridiculous show
you’ve let the illusion get you by the nose
All the important keepers of propriety will gaze and snort
but you’ll be free and freeness is noblest sport
In times of screaming desperation
I often learned to go quiet
being tired of yelling at impenetrable walls
I went within
I’ve learned how I am wrong
since birth
since school
since fatherhood
since motherhood
since alienation
since now
And yet she stirs within me
the goddess
you can call her Mary
or Isis
or Sophia
or love
At first I was troubled
and then I was frozen
and now I am whole
tears streaming down my face
a desert where rain had not poured for years
In some old tome
a man named Elijah prayed fervently
that the rains would cease
and they did
and then he changed and prayed for their return
and they did
I know this drill
I prayed in fear that the clouds called my eyes would dry
so that the goddess within would at least be invisible
to the security forces prowling around me
scanning for tears
but now I know the price of that drought
and I raise my hands to my beloved in the sky
as the rain
it once again falls
When we stood
in under starlight
illuminated from within
like lovers on the sun
We knew
She said that was the day she fell in love
But really was it night?
Some creative gasp of god
gave birth to some new plight
that I now see
Where death comes idly
there is birth
A baby called a relationship
was evermore
our new reality
Now here we are
as though we always were
The goddess twitched
and joined two witches there
Two candles melting into one another
I love you like the sky
your lips, your eyes
In your full gravity
I am always high
