If someone has fibromyalgia or another chronic fatigue condition, they are probably trying a lot harder than it looks. I try not to fence myself in with limitations, but sometimes doing what everyone else takes for granted requires a tremendous amount of strength. They are not holding back. They are not lazy. They still love you even if they can’t keep up with you.
This might sound obvious, but as someone with an “invisible” illness like Fibro, I’ve often been called crazy, unmotivated, or lazy. I, in fact, have matured with two invisible conditions: Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue and being transgender. It often felt like I was living a lie because I had to conform to a society that was not built for me. But the reality is that any society that tells its children to not be themselves is a lying society.
I’ve made tremendous progress, and you can get over illnesses like Fibro, but you will likely have to be vigilant about roughly 20 different things in your day just to be “normal.” I’m surprising myself these days with my normalness. It feels great. But I’ve still had to deal with people not understanding me and giving me shit for not meeting their expectations. I guess I know now that those people are not right for me, and I have to find people who do understand what’s going on inside of me. Some people will never get it. They won’t see the 20 things you do every day that they don’t have to do. Or they’ll tell you that “everyone has problems,” and focus on what you can’t give them rather than what you do give them.
Live and learn I suppose. These conditions have made me an alien, a stranger in my own land. But honestly, I’m pretty glad about that reality because I do not want to be an average sleep-walking American. Getting through the alienation and struggle has made me a better person. It has been a steep climb, but now I know it was what I was born to do. There is something else invisible in everyone: a deep well of strength that can carry you forward through anything as long as you persist. And persist I shall.
in longing silence
by our love
a hand in glove
some holy dove created
by the peace of
“why did this begin?”
you opened up
and I came in
And lying not
but lying on a hill
I asked for her
to climb, with me, this mountain
her yes inferred
we climbed the ragged hill
the burning bush
the sun is set
inside two lovers’ whistling tent
our eyes gone wet
I’ll place this bet
Please dance with me
the cadence set
love’s warm, exalted
According to astrological lore, when a planet goes retrograde, it slips into its shadow side. Mercury is going retrograde right now, and for the next few weeks it will be going “backwards” in the sky. Retrograde motion is really just an illusion. No planets go backwards. But there does seem to be something there in regards to astrology.
So for the next few weeks try and operate from your heart-centered place. Know that your needs and wants might be screaming at a higher volume. I’ve already made a few mistakes this retrograde and said things that were immature. The purpose of retrograde motion is to challenge us to do better and slough off patterns that no longer serve us.
Imagine that you are sailing a boat down a river. When a planet goes retrograde it’s as if the water level drops on the river, and thus, the rocks on the bed of the river are more exposed. You no longer have the ease of sailing on a high level of water, so you have to pay better attention for a while. This sharpens your ability to communicate.
You can always do nothing and let your boat scrape on the metaphorical rocks and be far worse off. Those rocks might show up as assuming a me versus them mentality and saying things from a defensive standpoint instead of a confident, heart-centered position.
Be well my friends. I know not everyone believes in astrology, but these suggestions work if you don’t believe as well. And lastly Mars is retrograde too in Aquarius using the tropical system. There’s a lot of challenge going on. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and get bumps and bruises. The important part is that we get up and get back on the wheel of that boat sailing down the river of life.