A week ago I had a life changing experience of unity with the infinite & eternal divine, and I have been massively peaceful ever since. Now everything seems so small and pointless outside of love and compassion. How can I spend so much time defending this cosmic blip of a “self” called “zeronom” when it is not real? I’m so tired of the relentless battle to prove how important this unreal thing is to everyone around me. It’s utter madness upon madness. I continue to perceive the eternal field of potential (God, Dao, Brahman), and I don’t feel small at all. There is no fight. I have perceived my eternal spark, and it is the same as the ALL.
English is very dualistic, so this doesn’t make perfect grammatical sense, but because I allowed my mind to perceive the infinite, my concepts exploded, and I feel as though I just cannot crave and desire as I used to. It’s like grasping at air!
I’m not saying that I am some great being of spirituality. I’m actually saying we are all the same, shared greatness in essence. But I am having to throw out so much that doesn’t work anymore right now. I can see how my self-promotion was so domineering. How can we be honest about our weaknesses if we are unable to even own weakness in public because we must be militantly self-promoting and other-rejecting? And I know that a lot of my “spirituality” was self-serving. “Let me help you with my amazing spiritual ability!” Blah blah blah.
There are paths still available to the eternal end of self-transcendence. All paths are unique, but may more people find out how infinite and eternal they truly are. And just like that a searching and seeking for wholeness has vanished, leaving behind peace and simplicity. And part of me just wants to toss the entire part of my personality called “spirituality.” So much of this blog is now meaningless.