Tag: Spirituality

How to become an angel

When we are positive and other-centered we become angels in other people’s lives. Turning our hearts outward with trust and openness turns on our metaphysical Uber signal and the universe gives us deliveries and services to fulfill by bringing people to us. And when you are other-centered more than self-centered, you also get paid with the kindness of those to whom you have given.

When people talk about a leap of faith, often it is describing a leap into other-centeredness away from the cave of self. First, one must give without expectation of reward, trusting that the universe will pay you back because time is valuable. When we use an app on our phones to get food delivered, we trust that it will work. Life and it’s infinite synchronicities is logical in its own way, and fulfills orders and balances accounts. If you give, you will receive.

But, there’s a catch! It has to be authentically open and selfless on the inside too. If the outside doesn’t match the inside, you’ll just be wasting your time. There are means and methods for switching one’s polarity from self-centered to other-centered. These are variously known as religion and dogma.

Religion? What a load of crap you might say. Well yes, there’s a lot of manure in there to be sure. Many of the popular religious methods have been corrupted and will proclaim to switch you from self-centered to other-centered while merely just switching you into a more convoluted self-centeredness. An example would be the “selflessness” of extremist cults where one is made to think they are being selfless when they are being tribal and still massively worried about being “better than” as many people as possible.

Real selflessness is the death of the manipulating, deceiving Gollum self in the fires of the proverbial Mount Doom. Real selflessness understands that opening to others is power and peace and trust.

We know with quantum physics that awareness affects outcome. Our perception of reality changes reality. Our perception can be a giant love beam of sunlight that showers others with light, causing what we perceive to grow like plants under the sun. This is the power of real, selfless love. It is a practiced thing and it can get very weak if unused. Love atrophy is a real thing in 2021 let me tell you that for damn sure!

🎶All you need is love, da da dadadada All together now!🎶

Well you need self-interest balanced below other-interest to be more precise. But I’ll allow it John!

Be well and make love y’all.

What I’ve learned and how I’ve attempted to grow in the light since touching infinity on Solstice 2020

Hello reader(s)! I greet you in the light and love of the infinite creator. I’ve been going through a shift of gears since December of 2020, trying to crystallize new transmissions and experiences in a receptive manner. I suppose it might be Saturn passing through Aquarius that has called me to step back from writing, but regardless I have slowed down my posting quite a bit.

However, personally I have gone through remarkable transformations since solstice of last year. It seems as though I have experienced infinite intelligence and therefore see the world from an inside out perspective. This has troubled me, but I believe that I understand now after much research what has happened.

In my attempts to reach the light, the Creator, the source, I have come to see that there is no such thing as I; there is only the infinity, boundless and unified. Therefore much of my self-oriented behaviors and patterns have come under scrutiny, as they no longer appear as vital or productive as they once seemed. I know also that I’ve had to choose between the light and its infinite Glory and the delusion of separate self, in an actual way not a theoretical way.

I suppose the simple way of saying what has happened is that my personal energetic balance was called into question after experiencing Infinity, so I have had to rebalance and focus heavily on love, openness, sobriety, and simplicity. Through the grace of the infinite light, I have been healed of my delusion created illusionary complexes, like the physical health limitations that I once believed to be incurable. Much of this healing was done in the simple understanding that there are no limitations, so I can go to find whatever healer I need to facilitate balance, be it a doctor, a Naturopath, a chiropractor, or a yoga instructor.

I have spent much time on this blog writing inefficiently and negatively in the past, even when I thought I was being positive. And so my hiatus has allowed me to slow down and analyze my habits, to discard those that are deleterious to my thriving. Also, these negative, self-limiting habits and assumptions have made me a target to nefarious, oppositely oriented entities, who wish to disrupt my light in order to gain the power of dominance over me. I send any beings of negative polarity the love and light of the infinite creator, so that they may see beyond the delusion of separation and ultimately the delusion of polarity. Love and light shine on the light and the dark, so I must drop my shield and replace it with glowing light and prayerful love.

That being said, I have learned from excellent teachers to pull the weeds of resentment and anger from the garden of my soul. Each day is a new challenge, and I pray that the light will watch over me and any of my readers who are seeking to grow in the light.

May you have light, love, wisdom, and infinity, so that you can realize that within each of us is an infinite piece of the light, just as valuable as the totality, and so we are all one. We are only separate in the delusionary game of 3rd density Earth, which is rapidly dying to give birth to the Earth of love, light, and compassion. Be joyful in the dharma, the way, the path, the sangha, the Buddha, the Christ, the prophets, the angels, and the one true God. Acceptance is the way.

Much love and light to you.

How my brain gets high on anger and how I escape the spiral of compulsive negative thinking

I’m convinced that being self-denigrating is a drug. “I suck” “Everything is awful” “I hate myself” etc are statements founded in anger, and anger has been shown to release adrenaline, dopamine, and endorphins which can give us a physical high. As a culture, we think that being angry and resentful is caused by external factors, but often this might be psychological projection of internal causes onto external objects. We sit and stew in our anger while reading internet posts and news stories that feed that anger by repeating the narrative that we are threatened. Someone like Donald Trump becomes a drug dealer with each tweet releasing feel good chemicals into the brains of readers. The scarier the imaginary monsters in the post, the more feel good chemicals are released.

I say all this because I am an anger junkie myself. My imagination is capable of formulating limitless scenarios which trigger me again and again. For me, this leads to addiction to substances. And the only way I’ve been able to get away from compulsively using substances is with psychological detachment I’ve learned from Taoism and Buddhism, self-reflection, and also with support groups where individuals purposely avoid those feel good chemical inducing states of mind.

I had to wake up to the fact that when I really examined my life and the things that have happened to me, yes painful things have happened, but from a young age I became identified with being viciously angry at the world and at myself. This snowball of rage culminated in repeated suicide attempts where I came within hours of dying. Something flipped five years ago. I saw the anger as sad and immature in a flash as I lay dying, while paramedics pulled me back from death.

Because of the limitless ability of the internet to manufacture rage and resentment, I believe we are quickly racing to the edge of sanity, where we will be forced to acknowledge that a union of peaceful stability and selfless love is the only way forward. Or we will go out like any low bottom junkie, lost in a dissociated haze of highs and withdrawal as our civilization crumbles. The human mind was not designed for the internet or even for books. Our addiction to negative, imaginary threats is accelerating to the point that we cannot manage our lives. Reaching the end of this exponential growth curve is the apocalypse, the second coming, or the fabled eschaton.

I don’t know the details of how this will happen. But speaking from experience as a recovering addict to negative states of mind, I can see the zombie like behavior in my peers. Our gadgets and social media are powerful drug-inducing devices. I have trouble myself not indulging in this kind of high.

But I admit daily that without help from a power greater than myself, I cannot manage my life. And I network with other people who choose not to push the button in their brains with negative and imaginary thoughts. I have to be vigilant over my behavior because I swam in pools of rage and resentment, purposefully triggering myself with thoughts of danger, doom, lack, and hatred for self and other. I was led out of this state by a spirit within me that continually told me that I still had hatred for God and myself within me. Finally, in a shamanic possession by the spirit of Neptune I was told that “being critical of other humans is the cause of misery.” I see now that only positive support of self and other can heal myself and our society.

In this way, one must love one’s enemy as oneself. One must abandon all angry criticism of self and other. And one must positively support fellow humans while also abstaining from reacting to the bait of the angry criticism from those still stuck in the compulsive trap of anger. Love is the only answer to our problems. But when we see anger and resentment as illogical and self-defeating we can enter a new state of peaceful joy and contentment. Is this easy? No. I was given every “legitimate” reason to be angry and loathing. I see now that this is my fate. Now that I am overcoming my delusion of legitimate anger by abandoning all self-pity, I can see how everyone can achieve this.

But really, “I” don’t achieve this. We achieve this. I surrender daily to the God of my understanding. Do I still feel pain? Yes! I have a chronic pain disorder that will randomly subject me to debilitating stings of pain. But I feel the pain and leave it at that. I still have to use my processes of therapy and structured social groups to address and free old pains and resentments from my mind and body. But each day has less and less residue of resentment. The pain of life remains. But now joy and peace are slowly eclipsing the pain of everyday life.

What is “enlightenment” and how can we achieve it? Here’s one possible way

From my limited experience, my hypothesis of a way to become “enlightened” is to imagine that your chains will never be broken, you will never be free, and you will always be tormented. Then get ok with that. Once that striving part of you is dead, you will still strive, but not in a delusional “I’m going to finally be bigger than my enemies!” kinda way.

What is enlightenment? It is peace enough to be able to love everything and everyone. What is it not? Getting the magic answer to take your pain away, unless your pain is caused by neurotic striving, which it very well might be.

And achieving enlightenment is not imperative. It’s just a return to where you were before you convinced yourself that you are alone and separate. It’s an end to the game, and honestly, people like the game. God likes the game. It’s not inherently a bad thing to be in this game.

But inside of us is this crystallized voice that will say until death that this “IS NOT A GAME MOTHERFUCKER!!” You know that voice. It’s a game, and you can tell the voice that “we’ll always be chained, we’ll never be free, and we will always be tormented.”

The voice will work on convincing you for decades if you take that stance. And it’s a good fucking lawyer. Give up and die to this idea of “beating the game.” Then you’ll realize that your striving was the window blinds, and now the light can get in, and that the light was in your heart the whole time. Your mind just drew the shades because it was threatened.

The Secret Formula for all Religions

The Ultra-Secret formula for all religions:

  1. Learn how to tell your mind to fuck off.
  2. Follow your heart.
  3. Realize your consciousness is infinite, and the mind has been lying to you about death.

    The rest is really just filler. And the reason there are so many different religions is because #1 changes over time. 2,000 years ago the method was to join a cult and be totally surrounded by spirituality until you got to #2. Now, the method of telling your mind to fuck off is to transform yourself repeatedly while taking psychedelics and reading 2,000 year old texts until your mind gives up.

    That’s the cliff’s notes version, but just give your “self” to your heart, and keep going. Eventually, you’ll get to salvation. Lots of people think they can just keep at #1, learning every method in the whole world, but your mind will lie and lie, telling you that you already follow your heart and you’re already enlightened, blah blah blah.

Fuck off mind!
Hello heart!
ALL HERE NOW
THOU ART THAT

How do we deal with feeling incomplete? Are we ever incomplete?

I’m toying with the idea that this thing called
God or Spirit
is the mortar between our metaphorical bricks
except it is always invisible to us
so it looks like we are incomplete
when we actually are not

I thought of this metaphor
while studying how the
12 tone musical scale is mathematically created.
People think that music is a perfect mathematical system
but the math actually doesn’t work
and we have to split up this remainder amount
called the Pythagorean Comma
into little bits
and add them to each note or else all kinds of problems occur

But when we rely on that invisible mortar
we can do holy (whole) things
and the harmonies all work
but it requires that we are ok with not knowing
and that can be a hard thing to accept
because it is a form of submission
and acceptance of one’s
limitations

but when we try to make things
without the mortar
and only deal with the “known”
the harmonies don’t work
and there is breakdown
but we don’t have to feel
incomplete

so why do men and women dare resist this invisible bit?
because one must admit being submissive to something
the mind cannot understand

but the thing is that it never goes away
and there is only one whole
it just doesn’t develop if you don’t open to it

Before enlightenment, manage chronic disease and make the best of adversity. After enlightenment, manage chronic disease and make the best of adversity.

The most frightening thing I’ve had to accept in my life is that there is no liberation on Earth except liberation from death and rebirth. I thought that spirit would liberate me from the pain of my body, but that is not the way. However, the process by which we struggle can move us closer to divinity or not. God is selective and changes the path from time to time. Right now, in my view, if you want to struggle the right way, look to the Black American struggle mechanisms of the last 400 years: Spirituals, The Blues, Ecstatic Gospel music, improvisation, and protest, to name a few. From the utter darkness of being a chattel slave to then being a second-class citizen was born a new light that is now available to everyone. Add in psychedelics, and you got a good Gumbo going!

We are born into prison, and we will die in prison. Earth is a prison, the Sun is the warden. Pardons are available, but you have to go your own way. Society herds us away from the possibility of a pardon on purpose. Only those who go their own way will be rewarded. Otherwise, just get used to living in prison. And you can find ways of getting a lot of nice stuff in your cell and have the best cell in the block, but you’re still in prison. This sounds unbelievably harsh to many people, but that is only because most people have been told that they are free and have no chains. Those of us who have seen the bottom of this reality and have been beaten by metaphorical prison guards can see past the illusion.

This was Buddha’s message. Samsara is prison and Maya is the delusion that we are not in prison. Some people have such nice prison cells that they assume that this cannot be prison. They work tirelessly to arrange their prison cell to make it “nice” enough so that they forget they are in prison. Then, one day, a guard will come in and remove all of their property. Instead of realizing that they were wrong and that no one is outside of the prison in this plane of existence, they go mad trying to blame other prisoners for making life seem like a prison.

There is a famous verse from the New Testament of the Christian Bible where Jesus was asked by a wealthy man what is the best way for him to get into Heaven and escape prison. Jesus replied “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me” (Matthew 19:21). Jesus was telling him that being impoverished is a great way of seeing reality for the prison that it is. He was telling the prisoner with the nicely furnished cell to clear out his prison cell to the bare minimum. He would then be able to see the bars on the window and the light beyond the bars, which is true reality.

I understand how painful and lonely it can be to see oneself as imprisoned in a painful reality with no hope of liberation beyond death. I have strained against the bars on my prison cell window, hoping to break them to run free. I have attempted like mad to find an escape route from the prison. My life has been very harsh at times. I have a multitude of labels even one of which would be a heavy cross to bear. Living as a second class citizen and having a chronic pain condition and chronic fatigue condition requires me to struggle daily just to survive. I attempted suicide many times until I realized that I would just be back in the prison after dying a self-murderer, filled with hatred for my Earthly existence and self.

God is real, but the path is obscured and you will be taunted mercilessly for following it. This is the esoteric truth of the Passion of Christ where Jesus was made to carry the heavy cross while others jeered at him, whipped him, and deprived him of any semblance of comfort. The cross represents the intersection of the spirit (the vertical line) with the limitations of material reality (the horizontal line). Pursuing God requires us to fully accept that life is a prison, but in the example of Christ, we can see how others will fight like mad to shut up those who dare to say that their nicely appointed prison cell is meaningless. Jesus was saying that their fancy cell was like a bow wrapped around a piece of shit. And they were not amused to say the least. But those with the barest of prison cells followed him. They did not have the delusion of those “on the top” in this reality.

Nearly five years ago, I was given a pardon, but I didn’t realize what it was until now. I still sought escape even though I was not suicidal anymore. The notion that one can be fully healed on Earth if we just get our prison cell nice enough is a really common delusion. There is an irreducible amount of pain and suffering that we must bear on this planet. However, we can accept that pain and not let it drive us mad. We can see the prison cell bars as not really threatening at all. We can see that through acceptance of the dark aspects of life, they lose their fangs and cease being horrifying. I have internalized this acceptance slowly over the last five years, but our society makes it difficult to have this level of acceptance because most people are obsessed with the delusion that they can escape the cross of harsh reality on Earth.

I still find it hard to accept that I am fully saved from death because I still have to endure such suffering, but I don’t know what human life is not mired in suffering. Yes, I can walk the line and do my best to attenuate my pain through self-discipline and acting on wisdom and not fear. But I will continue to be tested, strained, and challenged until I die, and this is fine. I have gained wisdom and peace in place of fear and madness. Today, I am sitting in bed, my nerves firing what feels like electric shocks throughout my body. The title of this article is a reference to a Zen aphorism that says “Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water.” We might achieve total enlightenment, but our body, like a cow that we must care for, requires maintenance and care, and this will persist until we die. So today, I’m caring for my body, in prison, enduring the literal pain of this existence. But I bow to that pain as a teacher and guide. And I chop wood and carry water just like any other day.

David said in Psalm 23: “though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me.” He did not say that he will be free of evil. He said that he will not fear any evil that he encounters. We all live in the valley. We can climb a mountain or build a tower to the heavens, but we are still in the valley. I know why I suffer. I suffer so that I grow into oneness with the divine. I have remembered my divine origin through the process of enduring suffering. The ancient Greek philosopher Plato asserted in his philosophy of anamnesis that true knowledge is gained by remembering our divine origin. I have remembered it. I wished with gigantic fervor to return to it. But I was denied. I internalized this rejection as a judgment on my character.

We are all prisoners, and yet, in being imprisoned, we have the ability to bring the light of the divine to a dark world. In this way, we are also born as unlit candles, may you find your fire, so that you may see, and others around you may see as well. The more people who have burning wicks, the more pleasant this prison life will be.

A quote and a picture of my altar for your Monday morning

“The highest reward for a man’s toil is not what he gets for it but what he becomes by it.”

John Ruskin
My altar

Description of my altar:

-I use 3 tarot decks: Thoth for daily reads, The Art Oracle for aesthetic advice, and The Radiant Tarot Rider-Waite deck for weekly reads.
-The okra are for my grandmother and ancestors
-The tea kettle is meant to be pouring out water continuously
-Goats are good
– The drum is an old ceramic drum from India
-Obviously, the four elements are represented classically
-I have Scorpio rising
-Some holy water
-some useless crystals lolol
-Oh and the Buddha cat is wearing my ceremonial headpiece, which I call the Headpiece of Persephone
-lastly, the cat is holding found feathers which signify my writing ability

Down the mountain

And suddenly the storm is gone
the smoke is cleared
the fire is out
But was it ever there?
I doubt it

I conjured up a fiery storm
so that I wouldn’t have to face
the awful, beautiful truth
of love
and death
and peace from gods

and so I know how it will go
I’m down from mountaintops
and feel so slow
I’ll miss this mess called Earth
so much
after hating all the drama’s
crunch
for two long score
it’s all so much

With tablets in my hands
I walk into the fire
I will not see the promised land
that’s fine because I’m tired

Build your Astral Body and Escape Death

Life is a challenge on purpose because it is a proving ground for beings that live outside of our universe. There is a concerted effort to make us fail at the true purpose of life. This is what the gnostics knew. If life was easy, then just anyone could make it outside of the simulation. But we are foiled at every turn with adversity. However, you can escape. You will get more than one try, probably about 10 lives. After that you are just dust, no more chances…

Your only way out is to actually assemble a body on the astral plane. It is definitely not easy, and it takes quite a long time. Most of the time you are doing it, you probably don’t know that you are doing it. But when that life is fully assembled, they will tell you. The esoteric Taoists knew this, and George Gurdjieff, the Sufi, knew this also.

Most of the major religions have been poisoned on purpose. People go to church and think that they are saved just by believing. This is a lie. It is partially true that in order to construct your astral body, you need to have love and reverence for God. But it is much more than that. There are specific exercises and meditational practices that speed up the astral body construction. Participating in worship with others can speed the process, but it is far from the entire process.

I can’t say that I know exactly how this works, but over the last four years, I have had visions of a body being constructed in a parallel dimension. I didn’t really understand what was going on until 3 weeks ago, when a voice in a vision told me that I would not die when I “die.” From what I can tell, the Sun is the end of the path. The Sun is our God, and through it, you can be saved. I don’t mean you literally need to go to the Sun, haha, but you will know when your visions begin to show you the Sun.

There is so much information from my journey in my head that I can’t really offer a plain roadmap for you to do what I have done. I don’t think it is that simple. Each person has their own long and meandering path up the mountain. My path has been rough and arduous. I compare my path to that of Job in the bible. For decades I had little to no hope of ever having a “normal” life, and yet, I did not blame God. I soldiered on. I was raised in the protestant church, surrounded by false doctrines and delusional dogmas. I looked for deeper truths and kept going.

I do believe that Jesus Christ and Gautama Buddha were able to construct astral bodies. But much of what Jesus taught was corrupted by the Roman Empire when Christianity became the official Roman religion. The bible, as you read it now, is lacking many important details. Recently when we discovered the Gnostic Gospels at Nag Hammadi, we learned that there were entire gospels that were purposefully destroyed by the Catholic church. When I read these books such as the Gospel of Thomas, I see my own path in the words of Jesus. My personal belief is that the four gospels in the modern bible are a comic-book style adaptation of the life of Jesus meant for people with orally transmitted cultures. They were meant to be understood as allegory, but I digress.

I know that if you are reading some random person’s spiritual text on the Internet, there is no way to fact check it in the modern sense. And yes, you have to prove this to yourself. The only way to test these theories is to practice them. But I have seen these practices transform my being from a rather profane child into a calm and compassionate adult. Also, please throw out your ideas of what an “enlightened person” acts like. The notion of what an enlightened person is has been purposefully destroyed so as to throw off the scent of what Jesus called the Kingdom of Heaven.

I know that I am meant to share my path with others. I probably will be persecuted for it. You can call the force that works against the truth of God, the devil, but I think of it more as a weight that slows us down and confuses our mind. Without this weight, they would not be able to use this simulation to weed out those who are unworthy of living in their beautiful world outside of the simulation. This life is a test. If you do not strive, you will go nowhere. You will start as dust and end as dust, a clueless automaton feeding its base needs with non-nutritive junk experiences.

Many do achieve. Many do make it out. But it is not guaranteed. And if you fail, you will not go to hell forever and be tormented. You will just fall asleep and never again wake up, a tiny blip in the cosmic drama. But if you seek, you will find. If you knock, the door will be opened to you. May you find your way out of the maze and into the embrace of a loving creator, outside of the simulation, home at last.

Those who speak do not know, but here’s a few words that might point the way

The key to happiness is to recognize where the river of your fate and try and align with it. If you’re in a raft and the river turns left but you just really wanna go right, you’re gonna hit a bank. Stay in the water, follow the stream. How you do that? It’s complicated, but don’t think reality can really fit in your head. We just have elaborate conceptual maps of reality in our head. But out there, in the wilderness, is the real real. And it is alive and trying to contact you. There is intelligent love in the universe, and you have a receiver for its communications called your brain and spinal cord.

It’s way better than Netflix or video games. It’s called the logos, the word, daimon, guide, etc. It has the answers to your questions, but it won’t tell you everything. It will tell you just enough to light the river in front of you. It is your lamp, but it is only a lamp. The idea that spirit will totally make you manifest everything you want is specious. It will give you crumbs, your daily bread.

The great all or God or Brahman or Allah cannot fit in your brain. Your brain is a God dissecting device. God is the totality, and every word is a dissection of that. Like the tao, it cannot be spoken. Words divide and section things apart. God can only be felt by the heart of the mystic, expressed in a joyous smile, or felt in the in the twirl of a sufi dancer spinning to experience rapture.

God cannot be communicated. The Tao Te Ching says “those who know do not speak, and those who speak do not know.” Our network cables called language cannot handle the infinite bandwidth of the totality which cannot be named. The teacher can only point at the moon, he cannot give you the moon. So I think it’s best to end this post with a big fat nothing, called…

masks

the masks we wear, they wear us out

from when I was a straightish man
to yes, a “sportsman,” I once deigned
and then the mask at once became
a gayish, 19 years of age
sweet Jupiter was wooed I’m sure
the cleverest boy, with boyfriends too
to married father, divorced rage
and this transgender thing they say
I’ve always been quicksilver
darting Mercury through the haze
and so a traveler wearing masks
becomes the masks he at once gazed

and then the deepness tackled out
to bring the truth with Hades’ clout
I’m won because I’m just so sure
Masks are all and nothing more